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RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/27/2008 1:38:15 PM

devotedinSD

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Joined: 11/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: quietshysubnc

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

Why do i feel like fast-forwarding 6 months from now....new thread, same OP
"HELP!!!! Daddy is suffocating me with all his demands!!!"

Seriously, the pace has to be set by him....and if you force his hand, there may be some repercussions you didn't expect.

OK, uh seriously though... no i won't be back here in six months from now posting that he is suffocating me with all His demands.

Although i REALLY appreciate everyone's insight, unless you know me, do not assume you know what i will be saying six months from now...

Don't get upset

I think the need for control is a valid one considering you're submissive and all ;). I also get a feeling of security and belonging from this, there is nothing wrong in telling him that now if you haven't done that upfront or didn't realize it back when you first met.

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RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/27/2008 3:17:06 PM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

ORIGINAL: quietshysubnc

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

Why do i feel like fast-forwarding 6 months from now....new thread, same OP
"HELP!!!! Daddy is suffocating me with all his demands!!!"

Seriously, the pace has to be set by him....and if you force his hand, there may be some repercussions you didn't expect.

OK, uh seriously though... no i won't be back here in six months from now posting that he is suffocating me with all His demands.

Although i REALLY appreciate everyone's insight, unless you know me, do not assume you know what i will be saying six months from now...

i have failed....my attempt at humor has failed....i am aghast, and may possibly commit seppuku to hide my shame....

psst...t'was a joke...i can't really fast forward to the future...
~slutty McFly

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Post #: 22

RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/28/2008 1:20:13 AM

BondageBarbieX

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Stop worrying and know that you are probably doing fine I have learned to know what my daddy needs before he needs or asks for it and maybe you do to:)

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Post #: 23

RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/28/2008 1:08:13 PM

MrDevlin

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too funny

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RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/28/2008 1:11:32 PM

MrDevlin

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Yeah, my take is kind of a ditto. You tell him straight out. Ask for some "frank discussion" time or whatever you have to do. There's a very good chance he's just not clear and choosing to err on the side of caution.

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RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/28/2008 6:39:48 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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If you're unclear about his wants because he's just not that verbal, start asking him to clarify his choice. If he drinks herbal tea and asks for a cup, respond by asking if he wants sleepytime or red zinger. When he realizes you don't know what he's in the mood for, he may well say cinnamon apple.

It may well be however that he isn't verbally demanding because he prefers anticipatory service. Meaning instead of him having to ask for tea, you realize it's getting late and ask him if he would like a cup of sleepytime now. If he always says yes when the weather's below freezing you will figure that out pretty soon and start just preparing it for him.

This disconnect between dominants loving anticipatory service and submissives loving being ordered around is unfortunately very common. I made him tea before and was happy enough to make him more contented after a long day but I don't get aroused by doing things on my own initiative. I'm much more likely to get a buzz from having him order me about. The way around this for us is more play and more orders. He enjoys telling me to wear a bra and panties of certain colors so will frequently say red today, or the black with roses combo. He isn't willing to decide what's for dinner so there it's anticipatory service.

Tell him your need and give him an easy way to fulfill it. Such as saying "you know, when you pick my panties I'm wet all day". Because that's an immediate payoff for him. And of course, begging him to use you hard tonight usually gets a great response.

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Post #: 26

RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/28/2008 9:40:33 PM

femmetasia

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While I understand what you are saying I do agree with MRandme in so far that control is like adding layers as is subservience, it's a growing experience for both parties...it's the journey not the destination. Having said that, communication is key and perhaps your Dom;
a) isn't into micromanagement
b) doesn't want to push you too far too fast
You'll never know unless you ask, none of us are mind readers...Dom's are human too...or so I've been told, LOL.

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Post #: 27

RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/30/2008 8:34:32 PM

SailingBum

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I wonder who is "really" in charge here. What sub in a relationsship would say. You are not doing it right. "This is how "I" want it done.

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Post #: 28

RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/31/2008 6:51:11 AM

DesFIP

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SB, she isn't saying that. She is saying her needs aren't being met or do you believe she shouldn't be allowed to express unhappiness?

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RE: my Daddy is not demanding enough - 12/31/2008 5:21:07 PM

mstrj69

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I am not sure the question as to how long you have been in this relationship was ever answerred. Myself, at first, I do not demand everything as she is learning what I want, where everything is and just to become satisfied with being me. As time goes by, I can and do become more demanding once I am sure she will stay with me and wants me as her Daddy. You may only have to wait a while longer for him to start to demand more.
Or you can stop doing everything and I am sure he will either demand you do something or release you. I suggest if it has been a short term relationship, you give it more time.

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Post #: 30