Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Profile question. Switch or Sub?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Profile question. Switch or Sub? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 3:08:45 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		I'd like opinions on this.

I know somebody that is a serious switch. But is looking for a Dom. Their profile shows as only a sub, as that is what they are here looking for. They don't want to advertise the other side as they don't want to be contacted in that regard. They will let those that contact them know this about them in private after initial contact.

Does this sound like they are being deceptive?

I personally don't think so but would be interested in hearing other opinions on this so I can properly advise this individual.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 3:19:48 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think it's desceptive either. At least not by much. As long as this person tells the perspective Dom/me in the first few emails that this is part of there nature, there should be no problem. But I do think that this should be put on the table in the first couple of emails, as it may effect the Dom/mes decision to collar this person.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 3:38:04 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Nope. They are advertizing honestly and willing to tell everything about themself to the right person. Any Dom(me) shouldn't have a problem with that.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 3:45:02 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I dont think its deceptive, My concern though is finding the right mix of the dynamic--so screen carefully--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 3:56:02 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		I agree. As long as they're not hiding the fact that they're a switch from someone that they're considering a serious relationship with, I don't see any problem in listing themselves according to what they're looking for here, and getting responses from individuals that suit what a person is looking for.

Lady Zephyr

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 5:52:38 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I advertised as a Switch for honesty sake. I do believe that it DRASTICALLY reduced the number of contacts that I had both from Dom's and subs. More than one Dom tried the I am your master you will obey drill on me only to get a rude awakening of the limits to my patience as a Domme. In my current relationship I am Domme to a male sub with Switch tendencies that rear their ugly head from time to time...makes things VERY interesting.
If "your firend's" ultimate goal is to be a sub and her Domme drive can be held in check I would advertise as what she is looking for. Female subs get LOTS more mail and attention than switches and as long as she honestly discloses herself to the one that will ultimatly control her, it's all good. I don't believe that one must fully disclose to every wanker on the net their predilictions upfront. I personally CHOSE to identify as a switch and went through an inner searching period before deciding that Domme was right for me. Even then the title of Switch being misunderstood, I was told more than once by experienced male subs that they could never bow to a switch. When asked to define what they believed a switch to be they just got quiet and said they wanted a Domme and wouldn't "settle" for a switch without ever revealing what they believe a switch is.
I guess this is part of the search for the one that's right for you. My boy may have been a newbie when we met but is revealing himself to be a wonderful and attentive sub. I guess their loss is his gain
Please feel free to contact me privately if you have any questions.

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 6:25:36 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

I'd like opinions on this.

I know somebody that is a serious switch. But is looking for a Dom. Their profile shows as only a sub, as that is what they are here looking for. They don't want to advertise the other side as they don't want to be contacted in that regard. They will let those that contact them know this about them in private after initial contact.

Does this sound like they are being deceptive?

I personally don't think so but would be interested in hearing other opinions on this so I can properly advise this individual.




I don't think so, as long as they let whomever they do start talking to know this right away.

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/1/2006 7:26:12 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		I very much appreciate all the replies. I said it before and will say it again, there are a great bunch of people on this site.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/5/2006 10:42:15 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

I'd like opinions on this.

I know somebody that is a serious switch. But is looking for a Dom. Their profile shows as only a sub, as that is what they are here looking for. They don't want to advertise the other side as they don't want to be contacted in that regard. They will let those that contact them know this about them in private after initial contact.

Does this sound like they are being deceptive?

I personally don't think so but would be interested in hearing other opinions on this so I can properly advise this individual.




I recently been chatting with a Dom, that informed me that he was a switch. This didn't bother me none being how it is that I wasn't searching for a Dom. But what has turned wierd bout this. Is his continious insistance that I can Top him.

No matter how much I've told him that I am a sub, and not interested in topping anyone. He wouldn't give up on this. I told Master of this and he told me to give it a try. See where it went. He said it as only on line and this should prove to be interesting to him as well. To see if I had in me to do this. Knowing I really hate to cyber, didn't help me none either. But like Master said, this is only on line and I wouldn't have to worry about nothing with him being here with me.

So while I spoke with this one switch, my Master sat back and had a few good laughs. I even had to get some advice from him on how to say certain things.. LOL When it was all said and done, Master said he knew I really couldn't do it. My heart just wasn't in it. He likes the way I do switch with him. I can go from being totally Dominant to the outside world. But one look from him, and he knows I've melted and purely submissive to him.

I don't think your friend is being deceptive. especially like MrDiscipline44 stated... it should be brought out early. Within the first few e-mails. Hope all works out well for your friend there.

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/5/2006 11:10:47 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Ive been through a bit of a learning curve with profiles and being a switch.

Switch: my first profile when i was single and seeking. I got soooooooo many replies, from male subs desparately seeking a Domme. This was despite being brutally honest about never wanting a sub, just switch seeking switch or Dom/me. So, i changed to seeking friends only. That slowed things a little.
But what it did do, was to bring out the wrong sort of Dom. The ones that think a switch is a untamed sub, that handled correctly, will submit dammit! Such a bore

I did find a Dom, obviously from the name, but this one accepts my other side. And copes with the antics i can pull when the sap is rising. Poor Sir!

So now, i tend not to mention im switch because:
People have many preconceived idea's about switches. We are seldom understood. Only from other switches, have i truly felt that MY way is acceptable. Even in my current relationship, my Sir really doesnt have a clue how someone can be a switch. He accepts it, but doesnt really understand it.

And if your friend is seeking to be dominated. Then her switch side dont matter. But either way, she should be honest once she's made contact.
If its a one off play partner, then i guess her Domme side is irrelevant.

My switchiness depends on my own personal needs at the time. Ive never wanted to switch mid scene, so if i were submitting, then that's what id do. and visa versa.

The problems start when you get into a relationship, that's monogamous, and where your submissive service is all that's required. But if your relationship is strong enough, you'll be able to work through a way together.

best of luck to her
little1 (who occasionally gets very Large lol)

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Profile question. Switch or Sub? - 1/6/2006 5:42:04 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So now, i tend not to mention im switch because:
People have many preconceived idea's about switches. We are seldom understood. Only from other switches, have i truly felt that MY way is acceptable. Even in my current relationship, my Sir really doesnt have a clue how someone can be a switch. He accepts it, but doesnt really understand it


little just ask my boy... as long as yout Top is willing to deal with your Switchy moments and you know where you stand that's all that matters :)

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 11
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Profile question. Switch or Sub? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063