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suhlut -> Change? Evolving? Something more then just another NEW YEARS Resolution? (12/29/2008 1:11:54 AM)
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Normally, i might have tended to say that my New Years resolution this year, for Jan 2009, might have been to quit smoking. But even though it hasn't ever been a resolution, not even back in Jan 2008, still i did choose to quit during August this year. It has now been 124 days without a ciggy.
Now that i have been feeling better with being able to breathe better, ect, as after effects of stopping smoking, i have switched to thinking of what comes next, what should i concentrate next on, on changing, on improving, that type of thing.
On the surface, then, i should say that my New years resolution will be to lose weight, which prob seems rather common.
But, for me, not common at all. i have absolutely NO end goal in my mind as far as an end number to show up on my scale, instead i am entering into this with the goal that i will start getting into shape with the end result being where i feel healthy, and comfortable. It very likely will not be what society says to be ideal, but i am only doing it to please my OWN ideals.. period.
i knew since Aug when i stopped smoking, that losing weight would be my next "goal", but at the time, it was uncertain exactly how i'd go about doing so.. Would i diet? start exercising? both? what?
At the time, it was suggested by someone here, that i might take up something that He was developing an interest in, YOGA..and i honestly thought about it, and priced how much it would cost for dvd lessons. i lost all interest though in YOGA,as quickly as he lost interest in me... lol
Instead, i have spent time lately reflecting on many things, opening my eyes to many truths.. thruths about myself.. about others..
And one thing stuck out, and that is how i have let so much of myself.. who i am.. what i am interested in, what i love.. let soooo many of those things "go" ..simply because my husband doesn't share the same interests.
For example.. i haven't danced.. at all.. since i was 18, at my Prom..and that was 19 years ago. i loved dancing.. i missed dancing.. why'd i ever let it go?
And so, thats how i discovered what my "weight loss" regiment will be.. i am taking BACK dance.. i have discovered for myself.. a way to still feel the joy i used to feel dancing inside a mans arms.. and even though i will be dancing by myself, i find this type of dance to be more then enough to make up for what i gave up.
What is it.? do You ask?
BELLYDANCE!...
lol..thats right... i am going to be CollarMe's resident shimmy shimmy girl. A bellydancer.
Long ago, there used to be a woman that lived here local, that would show up in town dressed in costume..and belly dance.. for no apparent reason, other then because she could.. Yeah, i was very young, and honestly thought the woman was a kook.
I rediscovered Bellydancing, about a month ago, when i happened across an exercise TV show called "Shimmy", and found so many things to fall in love about it.
It is an incredibly sexy skill to learn.. and a great method of exercise..and, well, the submissive/slave part inside finds the dances themselves.. to be soo, well, Gor.
Not that i am interested in Gor for myself, but i have always loved the idea of dance as a way of performing and entertaining a Man.
Sure, exotic dancing is also about performing and entertaining a man, but the moves of bellydance.. seem much classier to me, along with the sexy costuming that only gives glimpses of skin, rather then blatent nudity.
So, i have been haunting EBAY ever since my re discovery, and was able, for now, to purchase a three dvd set, that will teach me the basics at home, and will work great for now in just the first initial goal i have, of looking great in a costume..
Perhaps after that, i will try to find professional lessons. i just love, love the way this will push me outta my comfort zone. To perform bellydance live in front of others, will really drag me out of my somewhat shy stage fright. Hell, maybe i will even become the area's NEXT kook that bellydances her way through town... lol
i also have purchased another "exercise" dvd with money i recieved as a gift for Christmas.. that..well is also "dance" themed, and will be using that also, to help with achieving my desired goals. Not bellydancing, but other types of dance.
With both of those... i will be taking back that long lost part of myself.. and that makes me so happy. So happy.. i could DANCE!.. lol hehe
And that brings me to this.. for 2009... my biggest resolution i have for myself.. is to explore and learn and discover anew all things that make me happy...
Anyone else facing equally as deep resolutions for the new year?
Regardless.. i wish for everyone.. Love.. happiness.. health.. and prosperity.. in the New Year.
~sherry
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