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And so another year....... - 1/1/2006 11:27:40 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Here it is, the beginning of a new year, a time when all should be happy to have just made it another year :) I spent the last two days with friends, saw some family, and yet...here I sit, more alone and depressed than ever. Wondering, again, if it is true that a person can love more than once in their life. I seem to be the walking example that the answer would be an unqualified NO. But, I kind of have it figured out...its not that I can't love someone again, it's just that I keep looking for the same person that I had. Bad, bad habit to put yourself into. But at the same time, an impossible hole to dig out of.

/sigh

Don't mind me tonight. I am rambling on about nothing in particular. My daughter got me thinking about this though. She actually told me last night that I was not happy, and that I never laughed like I used to. Kind of hard to explain to one so young that you are almost positive that you are dead inside, and yet you go on day after day, hoping that something will change that.

Going to go cry in some more whiskey, maybe that will change my attitude...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: And so another year....... - 1/2/2006 2:34:33 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		Maybe it's time to stop looking. Good things seem to come to some when they least expect it.

I was wallowing in depression because of a relationship breakup. I was exchanging emails and PMs with a male friend online at the time. Slowly we began to get closer. Eventually I flew to Australia to meet Him. Two years later we are together as Master and sub and it is the most wonderful relationship I have ever had

Concentrate on just you for now. You never know what may be around the corner!

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: And so another year....... - 1/2/2006 5:41:25 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Hugs... Your not alone, I've asked myself that before. Usually when a Holiday
has rolled around and I've spent time with friends and family, only to gather
my unmentionables and go home to a house filled only with ton's of cold
responsibilities. It would start to seep in on the drive home. That green eyed
monster of envy telling a story of how the Grass really is greener. Alone
can do some tricky stuff to you. It will sell you on something you know isn't
the best for you if you let it. Convince you that concessions are a must.
That one Love that made your Eyes light up, you Heart beat faster is the only
one that made all that go away. .... take a note .... They will always
hold a very special place in your heart. And Maybe, just maybe it will always
be #1 for some reason or another. But I've realized that all Love is different.
Almost as if it comes in sizes and different colors. The trick is to stop
comparing. Breath ..... Your not rambling about nothing, your just hurting.
You can laugh again but you've gotta let go first.

The Whiskey Vacation only helps for a short time, but I'm sure you know
that. Attitude is everything, being comfortable in your own skin I think
is the best cure.

Hugs from one who's been there.
Q





_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: And so another year....... - 1/2/2006 6:04:59 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		So many have wrestled with what you are going through. It is common to look for those traits that we enjoyed in a partner and try to find those in another, often thinking that anything less would be settling on a person who isn't compatible. The problem is that it prevents us from the possibility of taking a chance on someone who may be different, yet truly better for us. There is more than one love in a lifetime. Not necessarily more than one ultimate love. But I think if you carefully examine that ultimate love....it probably wasn't perfect. It's easy and poisonous to think of one person as the ultimate anything. Each relationship has its imperfections, as do people.

Good luck with your search.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: And so another year....... - 1/2/2006 6:36:39 AM   
daredevil865


Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Here it is, the beginning of a new year, a time when all should be happy to have just made it another year :) I spent the last two days with friends, saw some family, and yet...here I sit, more alone and depressed than ever. Wondering, again, if it is true that a person can love more than once in their life. I seem to be the walking example that the answer would be an unqualified NO. But, I kind of have it figured out...its not that I can't love someone again, it's just that I keep looking for the same person that I had. Bad, bad habit to put yourself into. But at the same time, an impossible hole to dig out of.

/sigh

Don't mind me tonight. I am rambling on about nothing in particular. My daughter got me thinking about this though. She actually told me last night that I was not happy, and that I never laughed like I used to. Kind of hard to explain to one so young that you are almost positive that you are dead inside, and yet you go on day after day, hoping that something will change that.

Going to go cry in some more whiskey, maybe that will change my attitude...



As one who has looked a couple of times into a whiskey bottle to find happyness or answers, I can say it does not work...

Try and focus more on the positive things in your life like family and friends, be thankful for what you have and not worry about what is missing. The problem with trying to "replace" a lost love is that the mind works in a funny way and you remember all the best parts leaving you with an unreal image for the next love to try and live up to. Again I speak from experience.

Hoping that better days are ahead for you

DareDevil

_____________________________



DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: And so another year....... - 1/4/2006 5:05:39 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Wondering, again, if it is true that a person can love more than once in their life. I seem to be the walking example that the answer would be an unqualified NO.


The answer may be no today but tomorrow or next month it may be yes. I am proof positive of that. Most of my family members are dead. My first fiance is dead.
I could go on and on. The thing is, you have to look at what you have today and be thankful for it. The loved ones you still have left.
Also as Rayne stated. Stop looking. Just go out and have fun, someone will pick up on your vibes and before you know it you will have found love once more.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: And so another year....... - 1/4/2006 5:13:14 PM   
Lonesoul


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/19/2005
Status: offline 		I understand the feeling I am there to at this moment. Just woundering why I even bother. BUt who knows tomorrow might be a better day.

So intill that tomorrow good day.
Lonesoul

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: And so another year....... - 1/4/2006 5:23:37 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		my fellow irishwoman, you know that you have in your soul more than so many, and it has kept you going and always will. look to that "wee" one you have as part of your proof that you've done well. then look inside and know that no matter how hard it gets, you will keep on and find eventually what it is that you seek, even thought it may not be what you now think it will be.

how's that for irish philosophy? but it's true. i try to remind myself of it periodically. there is something special in being irish, and we've to overcome it and relish it at the same time.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: And so another year....... - 1/4/2006 5:30:04 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		just a note to add that the whiskey won't bring solutions, only more heartaches. trust in you and give yourself sweet time, that will help you to see the light of day and your way to seeing how to let the love of the past stay with you, but not allow it to stay you in your journey. that you have love is a deep blessing. you gave it to a man, you gave it to your "wee" one and you have it still within you to give again. we cannot replace and i dare say nobody would wish to be replaced, but we can love again and be loved again.

we all have our hard and our harder days, and sometimes good ones, too.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: And so another year....... - 1/6/2006 12:41:35 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Well, on the bright side things are going well here. Business has really picked up already and I am excited about the prospects of a really busy year.

But back on track... Like has already been said, do not catch yourself looking. Find yourself just focusing solely on you. Build on your positive attributes. The men will come. I would not go looking on any online dating sites either. you fish in the wrong pond, you catch the wrong fish.

My technique works. I sit back and wait. Inevitably the women always come to Me. Since My wife and I have separated and divorced, all four of the ladies I have been with have come to Me.

I have a single friend, though, that would give opposing advice to contradict My own. He is wise and to be fair I will present it to you (bear in mind that he has never been married and is still very happily single at over 50 years old). He suggests that the fish you really want to catch is the one that you have to pursue. He suggests to choose wisely and then go after them. Someone who is a little hard to get is to be desired. His theory is that elevates the playing field and the caliber of your potential mate.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide, and whatever you do do not drown your sorrows in the whiskey. That will cause more harm than good.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: And so another year....... - 1/6/2006 9:56:52 AM   
miticantenslaved


Posts: 195
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Kind of hard to explain to one so young that you are almost positive that you are dead inside, and yet you go on day after day, hoping that something will change that.


been there, done that....quite recently, in fact...you might ask...miti? happy-go-lucky, smart-assed miti? yep. that was miti, prior to Christmas Eve.

what changed? i stopped looking, and decided to wait, instead. after a break-up or loss, a slave/sub has no purpose. everything she did prior to the breakup is no longer an issue, and no longer valid. we wander, lost and alone.

please try waiting...you never know...it may just work for you! *hugs you fiercely*

~miti

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: And so another year....... - 1/10/2006 2:24:22 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe it's time to stop looking. Good things seem to come to some when they least expect it.


I sit here today...and this is what seems to be hitting me hard...How true those words are.


Thankyou all for you kind words, they touched me, and they helped alot :)

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 12
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