Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (Full Version)

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sub54 -> Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 6:35:17 AM)

Recently my wife discovered my interest in BDSM. She has agreed to be Dominant in the bedroom, with some trepidation I might add. I have introduced her to the topic through some books, SM 101 and the Claudia Verrin books. She feels uncomfortable, when she whips me. She feels inadequate, no matter how often i say she is wonderful. What she has asked for is a DVD that visually shows a Woman Dominating her sub. Obviously there are a ton of DVD's out there. They range from too soft core to very hard core. My question is can anyone recommend a DVD that shows a Domme stripping, whipping, clamping her sub maybe even using a strap on, (we have talked about that and purchased a strap on DVD from Good Vibrations.) Not sure how else to describe what I'm looking for. If any readers have any suggestions or if I can elaborate please let me know.

I would greatly appreciate any suggestions the readers of this post might have. I have been a part of Collar Me for several years but have only recently begun to spend lots of time on the site. I have come to really like this site and have great respect for the members here.
Thanks in advance for any suggestions you might have.



JustDarkness -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 6:40:14 AM)

Does she really want to be a Domme? (because you she is uncomfy with certain things)
IT sounds more liek she wants to re-enact the DVD.
But ok...if it pleases you both...then that is fine with me ofcourse.

found this on google
http://www.beginnersguidetobdsm.com/



MistressRouge -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 7:13:47 AM)

I noticed some DVDs to buy on Ebay too, search under Dominatrix [:)]



DarkSteven -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 7:31:27 AM)

I guess I'm missing the point.  It sounds weird to have a sub training a Domme in his way of being Dominated.

Anyhow, why use DVDs?  Go to local munches and meet REAL Dommes.  If she talks to them, she can see how comfortable she is (if she's in charge, she has to WANT this, not play at it), and they can give her instruction if she wants to go ahead.



Lockit -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 9:27:00 AM)

If it is just in the bedroom... instruction will be fine... kind of like learning a blow jobm porn style... but if she doesn't like doing it and there is no spark that brings on the fires of lust... it will be a dvd that sits on a shelf or gets busted up in resentment because she has to perform to make you happy.



DesFIP -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 10:32:39 AM)

Sounds like she is willing to top the op because she loves him and doing stuff for your partner to make them happy is a good thing. Anyway...

Go to a local munch, meet other people, see who she feels comfortable asking for help.

But she might feel more comfortable if she wasn't being asked to use implements she is unfamiliar with. Instead of a flogger, have her spank you with a wooden spoon or a hairbrush. Suggest scratching you lightly with an old fork instead of higher priced vampire gloves. Because someone who has never seen a flogger before will be nervous but we all feel comfortable wielding a fork.

Make a game out of it, finding household pervertables.



MaamJay -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 6:42:18 PM)

The discomfort may simply be due to a lack of technical know-how rather than a lack of desire to Top. It may be a fear of inadvertently doing real harm. It may be a fear of not living up to his expectations of how a Domme "should" act. The DVDs could be a useful starter to engender some confidence in Herself from which She can expand. And I second DesFIPs idea of using household pervertables - break out the clothespegs, wooden spoons, hairbrushes, table tennis bats, belts etc! A silk scarf makes an erotic blindfold. Also suggest that She utilises the benefits of having a sub ie the service aspect. Give Her a pampering session where you do the work of undressing, bathing, drying, massaging, doing Her nails, hair etc. The problem otherwise with being Dominant only in the bedroom is that it all seems like a lot of work for the Dominant and the lucky sub is the receiver! Turn that around and She will see the perks!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



BondageBarbieX -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 7:22:18 PM)

I do not watch porn dvd's  but I know  that the online site  KINK.com has tons of vids of Dommes doing all the things you seek.



wickedondine -> RE: Searching for DVD to help learn to be a Domme. (12/29/2008 8:09:53 PM)

I have to echo the 'go to munches' comment. More importantly, get her to go- more than a DVD ever could, it will show her that dominant women are perfectly ordinary, all shapes and sizes, all inclinations and personalities. Maybe after she's talked to a few, seen a few scenes, she'll feel a bit more comfortable.



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