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Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 3:48:56 AM

markmjs

Posts: 18
Joined: 12/30/2005
From: Coventry, England
Status: offline

Hi! im submissive & i want to explore my submissive side in more depth, im not totally sure if i want to be a slave yet, but any help/advice from subs/slaves, or dominants/owners would be greatfully appreciated, cos im scared if im honest

Love Mark :)

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 6:37:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Read, go slow, be calm.

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 6:48:38 AM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
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I agree, go slow and take your time. You need to find out what you like and what you want.

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 6:53:31 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

Hi Mark,

You are taking a big step by joining a site in search of a partner to help you with your journey. Welcome It takes time to find someone with whom you click well, and in my opinion, you would want to make sure you are dealing with someone special to you as you participate in this lifestyle. It's exciting, but remember to be realistic along the way. Trust your instincts.

You may never reach a point where you want to be a slave, and that's fine.

Have you checked out Informed Consent? Here is the link: www.informedconsent.co.uk You might be able to find some local events in your area.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 6:56:08 AM

phoenixslave

Posts: 66
Joined: 6/13/2004
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mark, go slow is the best advice. If you are truly submissive it is easy to be confused by all the advice on what you Must do to be so. There are just as many takes on that as there are people involved. Find what you are comfortable with and find the right dom/me who's style makes you trusting.

(in reply to Tristan)

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 10:01:26 AM

Lenina

Posts: 73
Joined: 12/4/2005
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My dom gave me this link a while ago ( http://www.leathernroses.com/submission/journeysub.htm#advice ). I found some excellent articles. Otherwise, certainly go slow. You don't need to do anything right away. There is no right or wrong in this life. Only what you're comfortable with. Never let anyone tell you that you have to do somthing you're not comfortable with. Don't be afraid to tell people to shove off. Just take it slow, learn, read, explore and everything will be fine.
Take care.
Jess

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-Jareth

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 7:17:48 PM

spoiledbrat

Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
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Take the chance, it is better to have tried then not have tried. Find someone that you are comfortable with and ease into it slowly. A fast move will only make you feel unsure of what you have done.

love
autumn
spoiledbrat

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 8:31:33 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
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Good advice so far.

What is it you are afraid of exactly? It would be helpful to look and see and face off with it directly.

It is being judged? Is it your idea or assumption of what a top, dom or master would do to or with you? Is it being found out? It is what you think of yourself if you ARE really a slave or sub or bottom at heart? Part of taking things slow is educating yourself and getting the facts. Make friends and shine light into the deep dark corners...talk to people and get out of your head.

Hey - all of us, if we're ever to really have the fun and satisfaction available from this life (in or out of the lifestyle) have to embrace the inner stuff - the good, the bad and the ugly.

THE most freeing thing being a sub has given me is: embracing my inner slut. I don't go tell everyone that's what I am inside, but then I don't have the concern anymore that it is tattooed on my forehead like a scarlet S. You can learn how to manage and be responsible for your true wants and desires and have them be safe.

Fear can be a good thing if you learn what it's for and how to use it. Face it. That will be your best learning experience as a sub, to whatever degree you take it. Facing it does not equal blindly going past where it screams for you stop. It means calmly looking and listening and getting the real message of what it's telling you.

Like a railroad crossing - STOP>LOOK>LISTEN. Or you get blindsided.

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/2/2006 9:34:05 PM

foxglove716

Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
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Hiya Mark, welcome to the party! Great advice from everyone. Yes, I agree, go slow... its so easy for new subs to fall into sub frenzy and get too eager and then end up with someone who is totally wrong for them. Before you meet someone, know what it is that youre looking for. The most important thing though that you mentioned... NEVER BE SCARED TO BE HONEST! If youre scared what people might think of you, dont be, I can garuntee you that there are MANY people here much more twisted than you and if you search around a bit that will be pretty clear. Just remember to find yourself before you find anyone else!

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/3/2006 2:52:23 AM

markmjs

Posts: 18
Joined: 12/30/2005
From: Coventry, England
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Thanks guys, its really appreciated, i know im trully sub, cos its all ive been thinking about recently. the main thing im scared of is the fact that im a virgin, & im gonna need an understanding domme, who realises that im gonna have to learn, & at my own pace. i was thinking of getting a tattoo to reflect my status, something like a chinese symbol does anybody have any thoughts????

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Mark :)

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/3/2006 6:15:26 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: markmjs

Thanks guys, its really appreciated, i know im trully sub, cos its all ive been thinking about recently. the main thing im scared of is the fact that im a virgin, & im gonna need an understanding domme, who realises that im gonna have to learn, & at my own pace. i was thinking of getting a tattoo to reflect my status, something like a chinese symbol does anybody have any thoughts????

I think you're in frenzy. I think you should make no long term commitments for at least 6 months.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/3/2006 6:20:27 AM

markmjs

Posts: 18
Joined: 12/30/2005
From: Coventry, England
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thanks, i think im rushing a wee bit... though i appreciate all your asstance

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: markmjs

Thanks guys, its really appreciated, i know im trully sub, cos its all ive been thinking about recently. the main thing im scared of is the fact that im a virgin, & im gonna need an understanding domme, who realises that im gonna have to learn, & at my own pace. i was thinking of getting a tattoo to reflect my status, something like a chinese symbol does anybody have any thoughts????

I think you're in frenzy. I think you should make no long term commitments for at least 6 months.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/3/2006 8:43:05 PM

windy135

Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
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Yes I agree with everyone. It helped me to read a lot on bdsm in general. Terms and somethings existed and I had no idea. lol.. good luck*

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RE: Help!!!! - 1/3/2006 8:57:03 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
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Well read a lot, and start at Sub first.....ans work you way up to Slave....if that is what you want, over time.

Sub and darn proud of it, BalletBob

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