Disobedience in a slave

Disobedience in a slave (Full Version)

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ruhdwulf -> Disobedience in a slave (1/2/2006 9:59:11 AM)
My collared slave is not geographically close enough to serve me everyday. She serves me approximately every 1 - 2 weeks for an entire day. She has a high sex drive and, as an understanding Master, I have told her that with my explicit permission she may have sex with people who I have approved. She has done so in the past. However, she has written to admit that she had sex without asking beforehand, though it was with a person who I had indicated would be acceptable if she wished to ask. I find this disappointing. I genuinely appreciate her honesty in telling me, but I still view it as a challenge. We will be together later this week and I will punish her for this with lashes. I am considering asking her to repeat that she is collared to me of her own free will. Several questions: 1) Is this an appropriate and sufficient punishment? 2) How do other subs/slaves view this disobedience? What would you expect from your Master if you did likewise? Thank you for your insights into this. regards, Ruhdwulf

IrishMist -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (1/2/2006 10:07:54 AM)
Well, the first thing I would do ( and this is coming from the side of a submissive ) is sit down with her and DISCUSS WHY she did this, before any punishment took place. There has to be a reason WHY. Why did she not get permission first? Why did she FEEL as if she could not ask you if she could have sex with this person? WHY, WHY, WHY. Long distance relationships are hard enough to maintain; there has to be communication everywhere, at all times, every day, 24 hours a day. The fact that she had asked in the past, but not with this one, says that somewhere, something happened that she felt she could NOT ask you permission. As for the punishment. Well, if she is truly sorry about what happened, then YOUR disappointment should be punishment enough. I would think, that with her high sex drive, having her abstain from sex would be a more approiate punishment. Just my opinion though. If I was the slave in question...these are the same questions I would be asking myself. Why did I disobey. Why did I feel the need to disobey. Is it just for attention? Or is there something more deep there that needs to be discussed. None of my past partners would have stood for such behavior in me. But, I never would have done such a thing either. Their loss of trust in me, and their disappointment would have been enough to stop this behavior from happening in the first place. But that's just me. I have never had to deal with a long distance relationship, so I can't say how I would really react in such a way.

Lenina -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (1/2/2006 10:13:26 AM)
Personally, my first thought for a punishment is to take away her privilege to engage in sexual activities outside of with you. Possible for a month, or other predetermined amount of time (regardless of whether or not you tell her about the time limit you have set in your head, which makes it more flexible). It's more fitting, in my opinion, than lashes because it's a direct repercussion of her misdeeds. Lashing is very generic and won't necessarily continuously remind her of how she has wronged. Just my thoughts

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (1/2/2006 10:13:44 AM)
Reposted: I think you shouldn't be asking an online forum how to handle the specifics of your relationship. But since you did... I think you both are handling things very well. She was honest about it, you are honest in the consequences of it and you both understand the situation. Frankly, a good solution might be just to give her a carte blanche with the people you have approved. Planning sex dates with three people when only two of them will need to be together seems a bit complicated. As long as she's obeying you and getting all of her chores and life stuff done, what does it matter if she's fucking someone you approve of or watching the latest episode of House? I think giving her those privileges is a great thing for you all. It shows you are all secure with eachother and that sex can be just as much a service or extension as anything. Since you can't be together very regularly, it lets her enjoy something she likes, keeps her happy hormones going and obviously serving you well. One thing I would do is make sure that both of you realize the complications and commitments you are making. Ask yourselves and eachother if this situation is REALLY what will serve you best?

Mylee -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (1/2/2006 10:24:38 AM)
* blushes* Ooopsie ! i posted in the ask a Master side...

subslave62005 -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/3/2006 9:51:32 PM)
I have done the samething. I deeply regretted what I had done, because not was I only in the wrong, but I could have really done harm in the relationship. When I told him what had happened, my punishment was to sit down and think about what I had done and why I let it happened and why he should not disown me. Doing that made we really think twice about things. Since then I have totally committed myself to him and would never put myself in the that situation again. Your punishment I think is another way for her to realize what she had done was wrong and what it could have done to the relationship.

submise -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/4/2006 2:43:23 PM)
I think she did it and told you about it as a challenge to you. To test your Dominance. I think she is looking forward to her deserved punishment. Just my opinion.

ayasha -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/4/2006 3:36:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Reposted: I think you shouldn't be asking an online forum how to handle the specifics of your relationship. Could you please explain this? Thank you. ~ ayasha ~

DragonNphoenix -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/4/2006 10:06:33 PM)
I think that you will need to be a bit more creative in your punishment. If you really want this to stick with her, you will need to make sure that it does. I know that if it was me that was the slave in question... not only would I not be able to sit down for a week... he would withhold ALL sexual release from me. Just my 2cents... 1st Girl Phoenix

pleasingsub -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/8/2006 9:37:18 AM)
maybe she did it to get punished. I know I am a "sammy" sometimes just to get the punishment. but they don't call me bitch for nothing......lol

Tapestry -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/9/2006 4:55:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submise I think she did it and told you about it as a challenge to you. To test your Dominance. I think she is looking forward to her deserved punishment. Just my opinion. I agree that this could be a challenge to test your dominance, to see if those limits and boundaries are firm and consistent, if she can trust and rely on you, or if they can be moved. If the limits and boundaries are movable she learns that she can't count on you to do as you say, which could mean keeping her safe, taking care of her, protecting her, or anything else that you may have promised to do in the relationship. And since I also agree that she may be looking forward to her punishment, it seems that the punishment shouldn't be something that bottoms find pleasurable, namely pain. Find another means of discipline and punishment, some other consequence that she has brought on herself with her actions, something that she would not enjoy at all. But honestly, for me, (no, not for everyone, but for me) if I could get caned or beaten or whatever just by breaking the rules, it would be much more difficult to obey.

champagnewishes -> RE: Disobedience in a slave (2/10/2006 10:00:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ruhdwulf Several questions: 1) Is this an appropriate and sufficient punishment? 2) How do other subs/slaves view this disobedience? What would you expect from your Master if you did likewise? How can an appropriate punishment be determined before you know the reasons why she did this? I would think that before anyone could determine punishment, they would need the full story. This seems like more than just disobedience. The fact that she did not have to tell you and in all probability could have gotten away with it screams she is seeking attention. She may be testing you, but i doubt it's your authority she is questioning. She is testing the bond between the two of you. IMO she is looking for something more permanent with you. She is using the generosity of the fact that you allow her to have preconsented sex with other men to exert a bit of her own authority in order to get a reaction out of you. I would guess nothing would make her happier than to have you tell her this option is no longer available. She would take it to mean you care enough about her that you no longer wish her to be with other men when you are not with her.

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