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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 5:58:14 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

Sex drive has nothing to do with it, buy a vibrator---Master's rules are the rules, end of discussion--in My world, it would be lashes and banishment for a period of time---I don't screw around with submissives who screw around.

LOL Mhoo314...sorry, but the "buy a vibrator" part got me giggling.

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 7:17:47 AM

Jasmyn

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Ruhdwulf, I wouldn't necessarily default to physical punishment in this instance. Not because I think what she did in the scheme of things isn't that big a deal, given the circumstances some could argue it isn't, but I seriously can't be as mellow dramatic as Rapheal and screech that what happened is tantamount to 'rape'...and I have to say it, wtf?????

Part of having 'control' over someone is trust and trusting that that person is living by rules and standards set by you, 24/7. You say you feel in some way it was a challenge, possibly you are right, she maybe desiring to feel that you really do 'have control' of yourself 'in your masterhood' and that if you don't react to the 'challenge' then she might have cause to think you don't. Or it could be just a case of she farked up and is feeling quite bad about it and any distress it may have caused you.

Suggest that perhaps she didn't quite understand you. She can have sex with other men at your discrection ONLY. That does not mean she can have sex with other men, approved or not approved, when the mood takes her. That allowing her the opportunity to bed other men is something you 'granted' her, it is NOT a right, nor is it a given that approval will always be given.

I like that you have thought to have her say she is a collared slave of her own free will, but I'd go one step further and tell her that she'd do well to remember that she is YOUR COLLARED SLAVE of YOUR OWN FREE WILL ... and her free will means jack if you don't exercise yours.

I would meet with her as arranged but have a number of tasks for her to perform... writing lines, stringing tiny beads onto a metre length piece of wool, cleaning toys, cutting out articles from newspapers and magazines, anything...mundane tasks ... she wants to be a disobedient slave, then disobedient slaves have to show they can be obedient and so you have set her a number of tasks to perform today... use a bit of imagination ... and because she chose to waste your time by sleeping with someone without your permission, then you are going to reclaim that time and do something for yourself ... take a walk, go have a game of golf, wander through the shops, visit that art exhibition, go have lunch somewhere, read a book in the backyard .. do anything, but remove yourself from the situation for a time ... let her stew in her tasks...

Return to the situation...if she hasn't tried to complete the tasks then I'd just tell her to leave and not darken your door again. If she has, decide then whether or not a further phyiscal punishment is in order. Your disapproval and your readiness to leave her to her own devices on one of your alloted play dates might make her sit up and take notice, that an admission after the fact is not good enough...someone can say sorry once, but to have to say sorry twice, thrice or more is dishonest, not honest.

Also take into account, that if she is genuinely grieving at the idea of disappointing and betraying you, and a physical punishment is what she needs to deal with it and move on, then give her a spanking, making her apologise, stating what it is she did wrong and why it was wrong, and why she is apologising for it and that she will never do it again. State the number of cp spanks or strokes of cane, crop whatever it is you are want to use, and have her repeat her apology and that she will never do it again, between each stroke, have her thank you for her punishment. Make sure you state the number of strokes she will get and make sure you do give that many regardless of whether she is crying, upset, angry or meek ... don't go overboard ... 12 hard, well delivered strikes is plenty. The point of punishment is to give the slave a physically memory to recall...its not about beating someone because they pissed you off. When the punishment is over remind her again that she is your slave of her own free will and that you took no pleasure in punishing her...but you have rules and standards and regulations for her for her own good and you would be remiss if you didn't deal with her disobedience accordingly.

Good luck out there.

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 8:10:41 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
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From: New England
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Hello Ruhdwulf.

The first thing I would like to point out—if I may be so bold—is that you are using incorrect terms to describe her service to you. 'Slave' is not the correct term at all. Submissive might be more appropriate. But I will answer your questions under the assumption that it is a slave which you truly seek or hold as an ideal, since you seem to favor the term. So on to your questions...

1) Is this an appropriate and sufficient punishment?

Yes and no. While a long and intense caning or other severely appropriate punishment is indeed in order, your discipline must extend beyond mere theatrics of carnal pain if you wish to drive the point home. She must be made to understand her place, which is certainly beneath you. Be clear that disobedience will not ever be tolerated. She is your property. Treat her accordingly, and do not send mixed messages by being so "understanding". Extreme physical and emotional pain braided together is often what works best.

2) How do other Masters view this disobedience?

This disobedience is quite severe, and the habit of it is to be squashed immediately. Otherwise, you might as well hand the leash over to her. She has lost sight and awareness of who she owes loyalty and unquestioning obedience to. In the end she is to make a choice about her nature: whom does she serve? Is it her Master, or her own self-serving alter ego? Force her to make the decision soon, for you must be clear on this critical point.

3) What would you expect from your slave in similar circumstances? Might you allow your slave to have sex with approved individuals?

A slave is something which belongs to me. Only under rare, strictly monitored and in-the-flesh circumstances with verifiably clean individuals would I allow others to enjoy my property this way. I would never allow my slave to be used without my supervision, based on her own sense of judgment or will.

Exposing your slave to other males without your guidance is risking her mental corruption and loss of vision in her servitude to you; the focus is to be on you, always. She has no desires beyond the ones you allow her. As a slave, she is not her own creature; she belongs fully to you. She must be made to understand and accept this, or she is not a slave—merely a service-oriented "kinkster".

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 3:40:34 PM

cloudboy

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>YOUR disappointment should be punishment enough.<

I can say this is quite true indeed, that a Dom's disappointment is a terrible feeling to carry around.

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 4:25:04 PM

girl4you2

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i have to add to those who said that sometimes the physical punishment can be a pleasureable thing. to one who is genuinely mortifiably disappointed at having let someone down, the same physical act (be it spanking, whip, whatever) does not work in the same way in that situation. different brain connections are generally at play, and what would normally be pleasant does not cause those receptors to come on. instead, the overwhelming feelings of having let someone down keep those at bay. at least for some. those who feel deep regret maintain those feelings throughout any kind of punishment.

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 5:08:35 PM

justheather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NotN2U

If someone is going to be disobedient and she wants to fuck other people without asking you, she is gonna do it no matter what you say or do. Punish her for it and she will not only fuck whom she wants, but will most likely deny it or hide it from you.
Simply put... someone is either yours or they are not yours. They are either honest and faithful or they are not. They are either loyal or they are not. If the case be that they are not, don't waste your time trying to understand why or trying to change them.

I have to say, this makes sense to me.

(edited for poor job on initial quote editing)

< Message edited by justheather -- 1/3/2006 5:10:21 PM >

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 5:22:00 PM

justheather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Sex drive has nothing to do with it, buy a vibrator---Master's rules are the rules, end of discussion--in My world, it would be lashes and banishment for a period of time---I don't screw around with submissives who screw around.

LOL Mhoo314...sorry, but the "buy a vibrator" part got me giggling.

Damn, Im not even allowed to use one of those without permission. Some people have it way easy.
I wonder what it was about that particular sex act that was worth betraying the trust of her dom? That would be the main question for me.

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I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 7:12:25 PM

TheMasterBear

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First of all, you are correct to see this as a challenge to your authority, because that’s exactly what it is. If you do not respond in some form of punishment she will loose respect for you and eventually question why she allowed you to collar her in the first place. As for the lashing, that’s probably exactly what she wants. Slaves often “disobey” in order to get the punishment they so crave. They need to be corrected that is why they are slaves. Knowing this its up to you whether you administer such punishment. I personally, would, because I enjoy administering the lashes. However, a length of chastity is defiantly on order. In addition, if you have (or can afford to buy) a chastity belt, now is the time to use it. Lock her down for a week and she’ll never conceder such behavior again

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RE: Disobedient Slave - 1/3/2006 7:14:55 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

I wonder what it was about that particular sex act that was worth betraying the trust of her dom? That would be the main question for me.

I agree, in his place, that is what I would want to know.

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