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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/6/2009 6:29:11 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		As long as they are breathin` I am...game...
 
Thats trait number...one!

(in reply to Ariella10)
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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/8/2009 12:05:19 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline 		Another red flag for me is probably fairy logos.
Not strictly rational, I know.
No offense to the fairy battalion, but to me it's like seeing smurfs or My Little Pony...

Well...My Little Pony might work in an ironic sorta way....

But generall that stuff is a little too fanciful for my tastes.


(in reply to Ariella10)
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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/8/2009 12:10:24 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Yup, you should see my room I have teddy bears all over the place, my mobile phone is the my little pony theme and i cant speak without baby talk.

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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/8/2009 3:56:44 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Yup, you should see my room I have teddy bears all over the place, my mobile phone is the my little pony theme and i cant speak without baby talk.

Right.
Another red flag is the death metal symbolism that some favor.

Is it judgmental?
Oh , fuck, yes.

Do I try to see beyond it?
Sure.
Because it doesn't really mean a whole hell of a lot.

But, it's still kind of a red flag, to be honest with you, albeit a *mild* one.
Do you have any like that that are sorta not absolute, but there nonetheless?

Or are you an (equally mythical) completely non-judgmental creature?

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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/8/2009 4:20:42 PM   
CountrySong


Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		Well based on reports from some of the subs I've talked to the best sub trait is - "She is dumb enough to meet in a secluded place after a very short time or better yet move across the country with no means to get back to safety while never having me her new master!"

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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/9/2009 2:08:33 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha
Or are you an (equally mythical) completely non-judgmental creature?


Nope and with your elaboration I kinda see what you are saying. I normally back off from people with loads of tattoos and piercings and stuff because of my experiance, I was wondering if your red flag comes from experiance?

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There would be no gossip without secrets
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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/9/2009 11:41:59 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline 		I only mean "judgmental" in the context that the OP uses; when you are first contacting someone (or reading a profile.)

It's just an impression. Fairies aren't a hard limit or anything.
I even believe in real life fairies. (Sort of.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
... I was wondering if your red flag comes from experiance?

Kinda. I have an old friend who really likes the Arthur Rackham fairy illustrations and stuff like that.
We've been friends for almost 20 years, and we were even roommates for a time. But we realized 15 minutes into our first date that we were not a good match as anything more than friends.

Since then I've noted that with the partners I've chosen fairy iconography has been conspicuous in its absence.

Same with Disney characters.

But again - there's nothing wrong with that. It's just one of those personal style things, like the one you mention (...curious about your personal experience there, also...) that we sometimes take as little cues, rightly or wrongly.

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RE: What do You consider a good sub traits are? - 1/9/2009 12:03:10 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ariella10

When You are looking for a sub, what do You consider to be essential qualities in a  for a relationship and trainability. 


Trainability.  Personally I think it has alot, maybe 99%, to do with the trait of being willing to obey.   What makes (not what is) a healthy submissive?  According to my Sir and many others, the essential traits are contained in this essay. 1. The healthy submissive is capable of, and thrives on, intense, intimate, emotionally open relationships. This is often evident in the number of nourishing, sustaining, and life affirming friendships she makes over the years.

2. The healthy submissive is a giver. She often needs help to ration herself because her impulses nearly always lead her to want to do good for others.

3. The healthy submissive is capable of intense joy, especially in the context of a sustaining relationship.

4. The healthy submissive finds significant relaxation when properly related. She is at ease in that place.

5. The healthy submissive has finely tuned interpersonal sensitivity. She is reactive to subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others.

6. The healthy submissive has a fluidity of self, a flexibility that enables her to adapt to changing circumstances.

7. The healthy submissive is playful.

8. The healthy submissive has no more than the usual cultural conflicts about her body, and its goodness and beauty.

9. The healthy submissive takes pride in her accomplishments.

10. The healthy submissive accepts herself as she is, knowing that while her culture values independence and self sufficiency, she has strong dependency needs and that there is no inherent "wrongness" about those needs.

11. The healthy submissive seeks nourishing relationships.

12. The healthy submissive, in accepting herself "as is" is tolerant of others. But neither will she allow anyone to tell her what her truth should be.

13. The healthy submissive has a reasonable self concept, aware of her difficulties as well as her strengths.

14. The healthy submissive hunger is to be the object of an intense and penetrating understanding. When her nature is understood and she is held in a loving and firm frame, her devotion is almost limitless. The healthy submissive has an enormous capacity for devotion, from which springs her service.

Author: Yaldah Tovah, M.D.
 

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