RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 10:15:51 AM)

quote:

And lacking a response is it not reasonable of them to think you rude?


I don't know.  I don't find myself overly invested in how senders of unsolicitated messages feel about me. 
How does the OP feel about junk mail?  It is unsolicitated and a waste of time.  I wonder if he feels compelled to answer every piece of junk mail he receives.




happypervert -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 10:18:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

It's not rude.  Here are some examples of "rude" (responses to "I'm not interested").

"You're a bitch"
"You're not a real sub"
"You'll never find a dom"
"Please talk to me"
"Please meet me"  "I know you'll like me"
"You don't know how to be submissive"
"Slaves don't refuse"

Again, why would anyone with sense want to subject themselves to that sort of stuff?  It's easier and makes more sense to ignore the inquiries you aren't interested in.  Solves the problem of having to deal with cry baby dominants.


Hey, those are just demonstrations of their dominant style -- some doms inspire and lead while others whine, beg, use guilt trips, or start rudeness threads. And I bet there are submissives out there who respond better to whining and begging while thinking leadership is for pussies.




kdsub -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 10:28:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

And lacking a response is it not reasonable of them to think you rude?


I don't know.  I don't find myself overly invested in how senders of unsolicitated messages feel about me. 
How does the OP feel about junk mail?  It is unsolicitated and a waste of time.  I wonder if he feels compelled to answer every piece of junk mail he receives.


I do understand what you are saying.... but then maybe a note in your profile saying you do not wish to receive unsolicited mail would be appropriate.

Butch




KatyLied -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 10:30:52 AM)

quote:

but then maybe a note in your profile saying you do not wish to receive unsolicited mail would be appropriate.


That would cut down on the fun of having them come to the forums and whine about no responses! 
And that would also mean that I am allowing strangers on-line to dominant my profile.  Nah, not subly enough for that.




LaTigresse -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 10:44:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

And lacking a response is it not reasonable of them to think you rude?


I don't know.  I don't find myself overly invested in how senders of unsolicitated messages feel about me. 
How does the OP feel about junk mail?  It is unsolicitated and a waste of time.  I wonder if he feels compelled to answer every piece of junk mail he receives.


I do understand what you are saying.... but then maybe a note in your profile saying you do not wish to receive unsolicited mail would be appropriate.

Butch


Now that made me snort laugh! A.) very few bother to read the profile, and B) it still doesn't matter




kdsub -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 11:50:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

And lacking a response is it not reasonable of them to think you rude?


I don't know.  I don't find myself overly invested in how senders of unsolicitated messages feel about me. 
How does the OP feel about junk mail?  It is unsolicitated and a waste of time.  I wonder if he feels compelled to answer every piece of junk mail he receives.


I do understand what you are saying.... but then maybe a note in your profile saying you do not wish to receive unsolicited mail would be appropriate.

Butch


Now that made me snort laugh! A.) very few bother to read the profile, and B) it still doesn't matter



I always read a profile...after I look at the pictures..[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m9.gif[/image]...I was just saying that no one would have a true bitch with that little note in a profile.

Will I see I am fighting a loosing battle...and deservedly so...I should have known better then preach manners on CM....[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m27.gif[/image]

Butch




CalifChick -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:14:40 PM)

Nah, your big mistake was trying to preach your brand of manners on CM.  Many of us believe that particular brand of manners is faulty.

Cali




marie2 -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:28:51 PM)

I gotta wonder what you girls are saying to these poor guys.




kdsub -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:30:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Nah, your big mistake was trying to preach your brand of manners on CM.  Many of us believe that particular brand of manners is faulty.

Cali



Yours.... mine....theirs...manners are manners...despite what we try to make of them…to me it’s just common decency to acknowledge someone when they speak to me politely….and even not politely.

But worrying about someone who is not polite to me is very low on my give a shit list...I just ignore them…as they deserve.

Butch




KatyLied -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:36:36 PM)

quote:

I gotta wonder what you girls are saying to these poor guys.


I know.  You'd think they spent their entire life trying to get a date for coffee from the way they behave towards someone they've never met.  It's more on-line weirdness.  And they are desperate to get laid.  Poor d-types.




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:39:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FWPolyHouse

I am wondering if I missed a class on common courtesy in our lifestyle. 

if i had $1 every time someone posts something like this i would be yadda yadda rich by now.

so the potential profiles didn't respond back to you - BIG FRICKIN' DEAL!  no where is it stated that on this site is anyone obligated to respond back to you.

quit yer whinin' and move on





DesertRat -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:49:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FWPolyHouse
I am wondering if I missed a class on common courtesy in our lifestyle. 


No, you didn't miss the class. You're in it. Live and learn. Or don't.




RedMagic1 -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 1:56:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
You'd think they spent their entire life trying to get a date for coffee from the way they behave towards someone they've never met. 

Actually, that is exactly what I think.  They feel that their worth as a person stands or falls with the number of email responses -- and coffee-dates -- they achieve.  Anyone who gets upset about something like this has a skewed set of priorities.




immoral -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:01:40 PM)

i have to be honest and say that very many  on here  just view this site as an  opportunity to masturbate ( IMHO)  and hey  its their choice. But they really  do throw the toys  out of the pram when you dont offer to  *help* them....[:'(]




samboct -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:09:17 PM)

I'm sorry, I agree with Miss Manners and Butch on this one- rudeness begets rudeness, and politeness breeds more of the same.  And Miss Manners comment is that one should always be polite, although I expect that if I had 50 plus emails in my inbox on a daily basis, I'd probably be trying to figure out some type of filter.  There are mail controls for a reason. 

This is a site where people share like interests and as such the rules are different for responding to "unsolicited mail" as on a site with a broader spectrum of people.  An online community is nevertheless a community, and the same rules should apply.  In any community such as this, I do respond to all emails.  A short no thank you is sufficient for real solicitations (something from Nigeria which is obviously a scam I think doesn't rate a response other than delete) but even a pro domme looking for clients still should receive a polite response.  Its the functional equivalent of a hello in the world.  If somebody says hello to you, are you obligated to say hello back- even if they are a stranger whom you may never see again?

For the women bellyaching that you have too many emails to respond politely to each and everyone- "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."  Why not try using the filter function and block function more? Or are you happy being so deluged and using at as an excuse for rudeness?

Reasons why politeness needs to be improved here-
1)  Improved signal to noise ratio.  Men sending out pictures of their privates are probably not looking to meet anyone, they're getting off on the power trip of virtual exhibition.  People who take the time to write a personalized email should be encouraged, otherwise, they'll get frustrated and give up.  The rude people enjoy being rude- the polite folks need some positive reinforcement or they're going to go elsewhere.  Thus, over time the ratio of signal to noise continues to deteriorate.  Has the ratio of useful email to junk been getting better or worse?  If worse, maybe it's time to change something.
2)  The world is a lousy place.  The mantra of "Think globally, act locally applies here."  I'm hard pressed to think of a negative consequence of a deluge of a polite responses- even a brief  no thank you.  Isn't there also a "not interested button" for a reply?  I must admit, only one person has ever used that as a response- but I thought it was better than silence.

Maybe we should make a suggestion to the moderators for the following-

1)  Sending pictures that are considered objectionable is an action that can get you banned. 
2)  Don't let people sign on using a new profile from the same IP address.  One human, one profile.  While this may step on a few toes, if it eliminates the bulk spammers ability to come up with a new profile and send the same old objectionable pictures, doesn't the benefit outweigh the harm?

Sam




MmeGigs -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:10:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Many d-types can not handle rejection.  To send a "sorry, not interested" message becomes an invitation for them to whine, beg, berate. 


This is not limited to d-types.  If I had a nickle for every time a malesub has chewed me out for not being interested in him, I'd have quite a pile of nickles.




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:11:22 PM)

*snort*

eyes rolling double time




KatyLied -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:14:52 PM)

quote:

If I had a nickle for every time a malesub has chewed me out for not being interested in him, I'd have quite a pile of nickles.


Ditto.  They want to "switch" for me or they ask if I will "switch" for them.  They also don't enjoy "um, no thank you" responses.  Again, I really think they just are wanting to get laid and message as many people as possible in their attempt.  It's easy to weed out the men who seem to have a brain around here.




immoral -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:20:05 PM)

[sm=seesaw.gif]well.........when you weigh it all up..i think  fundamentally  , (and its an attitude i strongly encourage),that it is  an important attribute to carry yourself  well and  have respect for yourself  and others.and i know this is *online*..and people sometimes forget there are people behind the text..but would they really be so awful and rude with  people face to face (rt).
im not trying to  be a party pooper ..but a little decorum goes a  long way




MmeGigs -> RE: Did I miss a class somewhere? (12/31/2008 2:20:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub
to me it’s just common decency to acknowledge someone when they speak to me politely….and even not politely.


It doesn't work that way in the online world.  Sometimes ignoring someone is the kinder thing to do. 




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