RE: When would you give up?

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 5:54:17 AM

Heinz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: buffiyum

greetings spoiledbrat,
one feel maybe somewhere inside, you already know the answer that you seek....
one does feel that when the dis satisfaction is so great inside that you post as you have, that it is time to pack up, leave and having learned things from this, .... to press on in search of a better, more mutually-fulfilling situation.
one sure wish you well with this.
with caring,
buffy

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :::::::::::::::

Ask for a time - out and talk to Him. Tell Him your feelings and your thuoghts!!!
My slavegirl has to tell everything to me, what is in her mind

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Heinz, from Holland (Europe)

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 2:07:58 PM

spoiledbrat

Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
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Heinz,

That works if your dominant cares about how his sub/slave feels, I did talk until I was blue in the face, basically I feel I did everything by the book and then some.

You can not make some one care, the quote, "The one thing you can not take from someone is Love" fits this man.

Wait, I shouldn't of said that, I should of said, If this man loved anyone in his life it was me, he has no friends, no past anything, makes you wonder. If he treats everyone the same and I was just to dumb to believe it.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 2:10:00 PM

spoiledbrat

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Joined: 7/3/2004
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The compatablity is there as long as it is you giving in to him.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 6:59:04 PM

camigirl

Posts: 42
Joined: 9/18/2004
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I'm taking a chance on sounding like im "rushing into judgement" and perhaps i am, but this sounds to me like an abusive relationship, where your needs dont matter.
Well, i just want to say, your needs do and should matter.
In time, after you remove yourself from the negative atmoshere, you will regain your sense of "self" and your confidence will return.

Best wishes,
camigirl

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You had me at "stay"

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 8:18:40 PM

fyreredsub

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Joined: 10/7/2005
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do you have a contract? perhaps if you do it can be renegotitated.
you have to decide if the bad outwieghs the good in the relationship. i know for myself i can't stand being miserable. i'm a happy natured person...if the relationship is keeping you stressed out all the time then you have to rethink it and then make some changes,cause a Dom/Master isn't going to change.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 9:02:22 PM

Petruchio

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As buffy suggests, you are wanting for us to tell you stay or go.

Your only option was my earlier suggestion– counseling.

Oops, I'm overlooking that female rule: When women complain, they don't want advice or the problem fixed… they just want someone to listen.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 9:20:17 PM

Gomez

Posts: 51
Joined: 12/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I think you already know that enough is enough. All you can do is let go, say goodbye, and hope that you learned from the experience.

I totally agree with IrishMist. Cut your losses and end the partnership. Your not getting the rewards which He stated you would get for doing your chores. If it was me, I would sever the partnership and look for a Master/Dom that would appreciate the effort I made to please him (unfortunately, I am not a sub/slave but a Dom/Master but can understand).

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 9:23:26 PM

RiotGirl

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Heh, just for another perspective.

Ever thought about "changing" your role in the situation? As in, STOP jumping through hoops? Stop doing all the stuff? Stand up and say, HEY, this is a no go.. but i'll tell ya what i'm gonna do. i've some issues with my dominant and i do every now and then, stand up and say. "Hey, no go!" For example, when Master gets extra lazy and does absolutely nothing.. leaving me to do everything. i go on strike

i REFUSE to clean. For days on end no less. When i'm really screaming "Hey no go" i literally take the majority of his control back. As i am one who has to request permission for everything. i just stop requesting. Basically, i get this little attitude of "if you dont like it, go take a flying jump"

Not saying you SHOULD stay, not at all, its of course, up to you, in your place in the planet and what you feel most comfortable about. Go or not, you live it and really life is about what you can live with.

From my perspective, he has you trained very well. Wouldnt it be a bit of a shocker for him, if all of a sudden you put your foot down? Usually in my experience, actions speak louder then words. Changing things up, as in not obeying, doing as you please, heck go get laid, sounds like an interesting way to go at things. though i dunno if you can.

Just a thought! Not saying its a good one or a bad one, just a thought

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 11:57:27 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
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Oh, you’re just being spoiled again!

Just kidding of course

All I know is that there are very few people who would be content in a relationship of any type where they never went out and were never touched by their Master/Owner/Partner for over a year.

Each of us has to decide what is and is not acceptable for ourselves. Nobody can give me my answers, except me.

If your good friend came to you and told you the exact same story ... what would you advise her to do? How certain would you be?

I know there can be an extreme fear of the "unknown" and of being alone when contemplating ending a relationship. I also know that in my own experiences this is usually replaced by a new wonderment at being alive, and of all the possibilities before me (at least as soon as all of the crying is over)

The best to you. I wish you serenity no matter your final decision. Happiness is an inside job with outside help!

seaturtle

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 9:43:34 AM

spoiledbrat

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Not so much complain but maybe reassure me that the things going on aren't what always goes on in different D/s relationships.

That there are Dominants out there that like to see their 24/7 smile and such.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 9:47:09 AM

spoiledbrat

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No offensive taken your rush judgment is right on the money. I recently got to sit down and chit chat with a dominant from my area, and found out many of the things that my dominant did were not really acceptable by many.

JUst my like to have found the nerve to go into a 24/7 relationship and pick the one that really had nothing at all to do with the lifestyle.

After 2 years of living as what I thought was as a slave I now feel that I just lived as a maid and money maker. (my dumb mistake for not knowing more of lifestyle before jumping in)

He does give Dominants a bad name and feel for the next girl.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 9:49:36 AM

spoiledbrat

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It's done, it is now history, I guess I wish I had the nerve to post on foums before all this went down, Maybe it would of helped. Now it will help with the recovery and I hope that i will be able to help others from what I have learned.

Thanks all that have written in response to this post.

I hope I get to know many of you more thru here.

enjoy the new year, I know I am going to do my best to do so.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 9:52:05 AM

xxblushesxx

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Just be careful. Doms can be like any other man in telling you, well, if it were ME...'blah blah blah'

The grass always does look greener and all that good stuff.

If you do leave, I suggest try being alone for a while, and figuring out what you need from a relationship. You'll be much more likely to find it that way.

Christina

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 12:53:43 PM

Vajray3333

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Joined: 12/16/2005
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While commitment is crutial, a Master know how to keep his slave happy. It sound as if he has lost his commitment to you along time ago.
You desirve better!
Best wishes.
V

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 1:44:53 PM

spoiledbrat

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Thank You, I think so also

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 1:51:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spoiledbrat
I recently got to sit down and chit chat with a dominant from my area, and found out many of the things that my dominant did were not really acceptable by many.

So that makes him the bad guy? You go running off to a "nice supportive dom" who tells you it was all his fault and badness?

Most of the things my ex owner did were not really acceptable by many, who cares? I accepted them for myself.

Getting someone to tell you it's all the other persons fault and move on is NOT a mature way of handling a break up.

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/4/2006 4:52:25 PM

mysecret40

Posts: 47
Joined: 11/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spoiledbrat

No offensive taken your rush judgment is right on the money. I recently got to sit down and chit chat with a dominant from my area, and found out many of the things that my dominant did were not really acceptable by many.

JUst my like to have found the nerve to go into a 24/7 relationship and pick the one that really had nothing at all to do with the lifestyle.

After 2 years of living as what I thought was as a slave I now feel that I just lived as a maid and money maker. (my dumb mistake for not knowing more of lifestyle before jumping in)

He does give Dominants a bad name and feel for the next girl.

Spoiledbrat.....
sweetie.....I will tell you this....you did the right thing by asking for help in this...and it's ok....it will pass...you will feel depressed..sad...angry...but it will pass it's just like any other mourning. Know this....some of us may not know exactly how your situation feels....I went through a tough time...but I don't' suggest I know how hard this must have been for you emotionally. I just can't imagine. D/S to me is such an intimate relationship...the sharing of this lifestyle. To not be touched?
Something is seriously wrong with this guy, he doesn't even sound like a Dom but a kinky asshole. You know just because one is a Dom doesn't free them from being an asshole. There are great ones{Dom's} out there too~!
You are doing the right thing...and you got some excellent advice on here. Don't be afraid.....some here like me will even support you should you need to vent or write.....you get the picture?
Get you strength up girl~!
secret

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/5/2006 7:59:45 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
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quote:

Thank you, you have been there done that also, Now how do you rebuild up your self esteem that is gone.

i stand before myself now and wonder why would anyone want me? I walked around naked collared and cuffed for over a year not to be touched or teased, and when he finally did I felt like he was doing it to shut me up.

Now I guess I feel that no one will want me even if they do.

!!! OUT NOW!! Please, if you can leave. I know how hard it is.

I had allowed my self esteem to be pulled down in my first, M/s relationship and I still struggle at times. I feel like crying when I hear/ read what you wrote.

It is gone on too far, too long, too wrong for you when the hurt or nothingness outweighs the benefit.

Please let go. You can do it (not trying to say it won't be.... whatever horrible, lonely, sad, word will describe) and will be OK.

All the best in the world to you, fawne

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