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FourQ -> 3 jokes (1/2/2009 2:59:19 PM)
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A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realises the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man says no.
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?"
The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"
"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."
------------- Saving the President ------------
One day George Bush was out jogging and he accidentally tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below. Three 10 year old boys were playing along the river and saw him fall in so they all jumped in and saved him and dragged him to shore.
He was so thankful that he told each of them, "Boys, you just saved the President of the United States and each of you deserve a reward. What would you like?"
The first boy says, "I want to go to Disneyland!"
"I'll take you there myself," exclaims George.
The second boy says, "I want a brand new pair of autographed Nike Air Jordans."
"I'll buy them for you myself," says George."
"And I want a motorized wheelchair with a stereo built into it with custom speakers," said the third boy.
The president looks at the boy and says, "But son you don't look like you are handicapped to me."
The boy says, "I'm going to be when my dad finds out that I saved you from drowning."
--------------- Sex and athletics -------------
It has been determined that having sex before participating in an athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.
In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries.
After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
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