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FourQ -> Rules for life... (1/5/2009 8:57:32 AM)
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No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress?
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tyres or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it
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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATHS
A man will pay £20 for a £10 item he needs.
A woman will pay £10 for a £20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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