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RE: all kink all the time? - 1/5/2009 10:15:07 PM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Yes it is possible. - Nothing is vanilla if you do it right!!!

My alternative lifestyle is as much a part of my world as the world is part of my alternative lifestyle. A simple trip to the ice cream parlor, movie theater or beach can be thrilling as scuba diving, as romantic as a candle light dinner and as kinky as an evening in the dungeon if you do it right. I do not have a vanilla alter ego, perspective or lifestyle. I am who I am, all the time . . . even in grocery stores and gas stations.

and the "best" hot dog place in Daytona, the park, the mechanics garage and even when you are asleep.
absolutely possible.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 21

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/5/2009 10:22:20 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Not long ago, on the "Special Treats" thread, I made a comment about eating ice cream being an "experience." Someone said that was the coolest thing they had heard. That I saw ice cream as an experience.

I think it depends upon your view. How do you see the world? Is every moment an adventure? Is protocol always in the back of your mind, even when things seem ordinary? That's the difference.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 22

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/5/2009 11:09:13 PM

PanthersMom

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Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
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maybe for some folks, but we tone things down while the rugrats are home. having youngsters can put a damper on life sometimes.
PM

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 23

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/5/2009 11:21:11 PM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
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there needs to be more than kink and fetish for me

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Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

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(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 24

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 2:47:00 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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I suppose its down to mindset in the end. Some things a couple will do will be obviously D/s, other times it'll be more vanilla, in other words "normal" everyday stuff; work, cleaning, decorating, all the really boring things you need or want to do.

But a couple in a D/s relationship can decide to do things in a D/s way, even if it's only in their minds-the Domme/Dom can do things that need to be controlled in some way, and the sub. can do things that are more about being helpful and/or supportive.

Hope that makes sense.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 25

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 4:41:21 AM

NuevaVida

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

On a profile a person spefically states that she never ever wants a moment of vanilla, and should not be considered if there might be moments of vanilla.

I am trying to figure out if this is realistic, possible, plausible or just totally wacked delusional thinking.

Yes, it's possible, if she is talking about vanilla as stepping out of a D/s dynamic. If what she means is she wants to be a submissive partner at all times, without authority in the relationship, then it is absolutely realistic, possible and plausible.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 26

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 5:13:15 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

there needs to be more than kink and fetish for me

that's how i feel. life would be boring if i was in that kink and fetish mode 24/7/365 ...very hard to do when there are ums, bills and rent to pay, bands to interview and review, laundry etc etc etc you know - the "nilla" everyday stuff

there's a time for the kink/fetish and a time when it has to take a backseat in my life.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 1/6/2009 5:14:09 AM >

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(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 27

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 6:44:28 AM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

there needs to be more than kink and fetish for me

that's how i feel. life would be boring if i was in that kink and fetish mode 24/7/365 ...very hard to do when there are ums, bills and rent to pay, bands to interview and review, laundry etc etc etc you know - the "nilla" everyday stuff

there's a time for the kink/fetish and a time when it has to take a backseat in my life.

Cheers to that, Sambamanslilgirl - same here. While our kink is still mostly in the bedroom, there are times when we find it's coming out in some of the more mundane aspects of our life. This is exciting. BUT - geeez, there are bills to pay and work to go to and catboxes to be scooped out. We just don't have the energy to kink-ify every last one of those activities, not physically and not mentally.

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 28

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 8:42:01 AM

mc1234

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Joined: 10/4/2008
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This thread highlights the difference between 'kink' and an M/s dynamic, or being submissive. I don't turn off an M/s dynamic or being submissive - I am, as others have said, such in every aspect of my daily life. But kink is something I see as a physical manifestation of desires and the M/s dynamic.

soo ... all kink all the time? nope. Submissive or in an M/s dynamic all the time? definitely.

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(in reply to T1981)

Post #: 29

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 11:43:35 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

On a profile a person spefically states that she never ever wants a moment of vanilla, and should not be considered if there might be moments of vanilla.

I am trying to figure out if this is realistic, possible, plausible or just totally wacked delusional thinking.

I think it seems kind of one-dimensional and pretty demanding!

Of course, the devil is in the details; if their time is extremely limited, or if there's some other unusual structure to the relationship, then I could see a " no cuddling!" clause...
I can understand and am even intrigued by trying relationship experiments like that.

But if it's a very general thing, though, then what it puts me in mind of is the occasional sub who can't tolerate seeing what they preceive as a less-than-mythical side to their dominant (like giving oral sex, eating fruit loops, taking a moment to decide between regular and extra-crispy, etc.)

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 30

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 3:57:50 PM

ALAstella

Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline

Life is well.. erm.. life, kink is part of who I am, it exists within me, it isn't external, it's nothing more than a component.

The sum of me is far more than kink, my life is far more than kink, my life is an experience and I am experienced.... by different people.

stella

(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 31

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 4:09:42 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
On a profile a person spefically states that she never ever wants a moment of vanilla, and should not be considered if there might be moments of vanilla.
I am trying to figure out if this is realistic, possible, plausible or just totally wacked delusional thinking.

I suppose if one maintained a particular headspace and took responsibility for doing so, they could reasonably say that they are constantly living a non-vanilla existence. Beyond that, relying on external forces, I don't see how a person could achieve that.
Davan

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It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
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Waiting is

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Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
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(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 32

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/6/2009 5:38:00 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

On a profile a person spefically states that she never ever wants a moment of vanilla, and should not be considered if there might be moments of vanilla.

I am trying to figure out if this is realistic, possible, plausible or just totally wacked delusional thinking.

Everyone's different, and there are legions of us out here. While it wouldn't work for my submissive lady and me, it's likely there are a few D/s who want 24/7/365 kink.

More to the point, if the person is that specific, she probably wouldn't be truly satisfied with anything less. She may just have to wait awhile to find it.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 33

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/8/2009 3:51:52 PM

Amaros

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Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

Personally, I'm fairly emotional, and I prefer to play along the entire range of emotions, I don't see why I should limit myself, if "no vanilla" means no affection, romance, etc.

I do realize some kinky people are as uncomfortable with affection as vanillas are with kink, and I've considered the possibility of a relationship with this sort of person - I suppose one could get used to it, but to me, Vanilla is kind of like a warm up, I enjoy the contrast, and to me, it's sort of like touching base, plus, you can enjoy the conquest over and over again if you want, i.e., there are just more possibilities, and as far as I'm concerned, it's all kink anyway, Vanillas are just collared to some abstract social ideal of normality or something, which is just weird kinky if you ask me.

I just don't happen to enjoy the confinement of all Vanilla all the time, I'd go crazy, and my only concern is that I might find all kink all the time equally confining - it's gotta be better than all vanilla all the time though, lol.

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)

Post #: 34

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/8/2009 7:30:22 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

A great deal also depends on the definition of “KINK” as well as “VANILLA”. If we consider anything "ALTERNATIVE” to be included under kink, and I’m sure a good many mundane/vanilla people do, then it is most certainly to be 24/7 kink. I am 24/7 Victorian Lifestyle and 24/7 Pagan Priest. This does not mean I wear either robes or Victorian period clothes 24/7, nor do I do BDSM activities all the time. Yet such things like slave ownership and other activities pertaining to my alternative lifestyles are done at any time day or night, in public and privately as I deem necessary. I live both lifestyles, eat, drink and breath them in one form or another and yea they to pervade every part of my life from speech, mannerisms, manners and protocols. It is a case of I am, not a case of I am occasionally.

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http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to Amaros)

Post #: 35

RE: all kink all the time? - 1/9/2009 12:19:14 AM

SensibleSam

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

Vanilla sex has its place. I remember having sex once with my first wife on a freeway median strip while the cars whizzed by. It was just a normal vanilla boning.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 36

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