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Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 8:33:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		A few threads are dancing around this just now.  I thought I would ask the question directly.

What is it about that person on the other side of the kneel that made him/her stand out over and above the rest? 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 8:38:52 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I can't answer for subs, since Daddy is a Dom. but Daddy stood out because he listened to me and honestly wasn't a horn dog out looking for somewhere to stick his dick. Nor was he looking to come between myself and my vanilla partner at the time.  He would of willingly formed a family of sorts and put up with the rules and regulations entering as a third in the relationship put on how he interacted with me.

All the other D's around had ulterior motives and some said so right away and others played the insipid game of oh well you said THIS when we met but I thought you'd like me enough and find me hot enough you'd dump your bf for me.



(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 9:03:50 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm talking to a few right now... but the one that is most serious and that I have played with and will in the future, stood out because he didn't try to jump into things and was sincere.  Our personalities worked well and he was smart, funny and could make me laugh and 'got' me.  Expressing himself and being able to tell me what he wanted was major and he didn't come off as the super submissive guy ready to fall on his face before me.  He waited to see if there was something to kneel to.  He saw me and not some fantasy.  I think at first there was some of the fantasy there, but it balanced out as he got to know me.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 9:06:22 PM   
Reigna


Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		1. Most important--he was looking for the same things in a relationship that I was, i.e., at least a regular and reliable play partner (boy oh boy was I sick of flakes) and the possibility of long-term romantic involvement.
2. His genuineness and sincerity. He is very submissive, forthright about it, and he was very clear that he wanted a woman to take control.
3. His honesty. I've never had the sense that he was dodging, or trying to conceal anything--kinks, financial situation--nothing.

He's cute, has smokin' hot legs and ass, gives great head, knows his way around internal combustion engines and related mechanisms, and can make me laugh so hard that at times I literally have fallen out of bed. But these are bonuses. None of them would have counted over the long haul without the first three items.

< Message edited by Reigna -- 1/5/2009 9:10:31 PM >

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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 9:25:29 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		When a series of freak storms ripped through Tennessee last spring and caused a few fatalities, the boykin called me on that rainy wind-torn morning from several states away, worried and wanting to know if I was all right. He was the only person among my family or friends who did so.

When I said no to his heart's desire, and told him he couldn't come see me, his reaction was passionate, determined, and absolutely gentle. He fought to change my mind with all his strength but there was no attempt to lash out at all--no spite, no resentment, no sour-grapes stab-in-the-back passive aggression. He reacted, in fact, with a humanity and maturity that most men twice his age could never have shown. I knew then and there that I could trust him to behave like a human being and a friend regardless of whether we ever became lovers/playmates, which was something I could not say for the vast majority of people I meet--on CM or anywhere.

He has many wonderful qualities to recommend him, without doubt--he is smart, funny, incredibly sensual, our kinks and our politics and our tastes in art and literature line up reasonably well, etc. etc.. But really what set him apart from all others was his strength of character and purity of heart.







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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 9:45:07 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Shatki, thank you for the inspiring story.  I completely understand your reasoning.  It happened to Me after My wreck in 2007.  The way clip responded was something I'll never forget.  It makes a sub go way over and above the rest.  Lots of them can talk a good game, but not all of them can deliver.

Thank you for your contribution and My best to the boykin. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 10:18:35 PM   
eponastar


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/19/2004
Status: offline 		My boy made the cut. Out of many. He made the cut because of his personality. He is very straight forward and honest with me. Smiles much and laughs more. He is honest, eager and very submissive. Everything he does is for me, and always has been from the first email to now, I have never had to chastize him or punish him yet. Its akin to the perfect submissive

_____________________________

Its not that I hold your leash. Its not that I hold the whip. Its not that I hold the power. Its that you willingly and truly gave it to me.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/5/2009 11:32:12 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		My primary boy is kind, funny and intelligent.  He has a positive attitude, previous training and a willingness to learn new things.  I have taken care of him when he was suddenly seriously ill and he looks after me when a cold or flu makes a visit. 
 
We had a very rough all-night road trip through the Nevada desert when we were first together and anyone who can survive that kind of disaster is worth keeping. 
 
 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 4:43:08 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		He is a big man with a love of animals, a kind heart, intelligence and he makes me laugh. He is sincere and does not judge people, he is caring and devotes himself to me and "us". He also has the sexiest ass I've ever seen on a man   He has the most beautiful blue eyes that I've ever seen. I could go on all day about him, I guess that is what love does to a person.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 7:00:22 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A few threads are dancing around this just now.  I thought I would ask the question directly.

What is it about that person on the other side of the kneel that made him/her stand out over and above the rest? 



He all ready had a good amount of knowledge at age 19 from his own explorations and research.

He was sincere and not focused on sex at all -- in fact, when we got involved sexually I think Fox was a bit scared and I was surprised since I don't look for that with someone I'm training. For us it was one of the signs that we were going to ownership not just training or friendly play after it.

He got along wonderfully with my husband. In many ways they are like brothers and were this way quite soon after Fox started training.

He seriously pushed several of his limits. Some we've had to pull away from again because they aren't healthy for him but others he only gives to me. That is a profound level of trust he gave me over time. "No limits" was never, ever an expression that escaped his lips.

He was realistic from the start. About what he wanted, what he could offer and how much time he could offer me. It's grown to 24/7 but he has always been slow to make promises because he feels honor bounded to live up to them and therefore wants to only make wise ones.

All of this and we started when he was 19 and now he's 28. Age does not equal maturity, seriousness, or readiness for BDSM.

You may notice that very little of the above is specific to BDSM or to kink activities. For Ds I think it honestly has a lot more to do with what is internal than things that may look like fun or be sexy.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 7:04:39 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I feel like it was a "I could have had a V8" moment d'oh---he and I Have been friends for a long long time--even during those times as he tried fo find a Mistress, I never doubted his heart was pure and his intent and commitment would last past the ages.
 
I had been through the pretty boys, I had been through the players, I had been through the liars and I had been through the ball less wonders (meaning those who had no backbone to make the changes they SO passionately espoused that they sought). We remained steadfast friends, and I planned to just pack it up and go on with life.
 
So one month ago we were chatting away and BING! We chatted in another direction, he had been there all along---though his situation is not ideal ( well how many really are)--I knew I had not only a devoted sub but My best friend, the Captain of the Queen's guard as I used to say--
 
he is committed, that to Me is first and foremost-- key. he has pride and integrity with no arrogance, there isn't a tug of war, the things I ask of him are a joy, not a "nah I dont wanna". he lets Me be Me---ALL of Me with no idealized vision of the leather clad comic book Dominatrix 24/7---and I feel the ability for the first time to open up, he opens up and shares his deepest things--its a relationship built on trust and communication and caring--THAT to Me says a lifetime. ( and he doesn't procrastinate!!!!)
 
<smiles>
 
edited for typos
 

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 1/6/2009 7:46:16 AM >

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 7:34:00 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		i am going to respond but in private..smiles..She quite frankly is my world.

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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 10:28:23 AM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		They like serving.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 11:10:21 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		Well, he proved that he could take a helluva beating, first off.

He put me first.
He didn't grovel or whine.
He was deferential outside of session, but not a doormat without a personality.

He showed up when he said he would.
He makes me laugh. Like, from deep down in my belly.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 2:53:22 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		And what she said.

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http://myspace.com/suprstr75

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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 3:13:11 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		When I find someone that does, I'll get back to you!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 3:17:23 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Very simply because he never actually tried. He didnt go out of his way to try and be something to impress me, and by not doing so, he greatly impressed me. I got to know Fox for who he was before I knew him for what he was. And now, I love him for both.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



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RE: Why did your sub make the cut? - 1/6/2009 7:09:38 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		My Westie is perfect for me. 

When we first started talking on CM, I frankly didn't want him.  He was to young and to new for my taste.  But he was sweet, kind, considerate, funny, bright, polite, persistent without being pushy.  From the first day we met, he just seemed to have an instinct about how to act around me, what to do, what to say and when to hold his tongue.  What more could a person ask for?  I may have a long running preference for dark hair and blue eyes, but he's half way there and his hazel eyes are the prettiest I've ever seen when he looks at me with adoration.  

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 18
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