Conversation in public play areas

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mistoferin -> Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 5:19:49 AM)
In our local group, one of our play space rules has become a recent topic of conversation. It is a fairly standard rule that I have seen in most of the public play spaces that I have attended. I thought it would be interesting to toss it out here for discussion also. The rule, as it is written in our group, reads as follows: "Keep conversations to a minimum around an ongoing scene." I have noticed that this is a rule that seems to get overlooked with increasing frequency. What follows are my own personal opinions on it. I'd like to ask others how they feel about such a rule. quote: On the issue of quiet conversations it is my own personal opinion that conversations should be kept at whisper or slightly above whisper in areas where scening is taking place. The only sounds that should be heard are the sounds of the music, the play and the interaction between the players. If we are in scene areas we are spectators and should be courteous in our presence. If we wish to socialize it is far better to have that type of interaction in areas that are either designated for that or are far enough from the play that our presence does not become an interference. I am far from alone in that opinion and others who share in that opinion are likely the ones who generated that rule in the first place. I understand that we are limited as to space so this is not always possible...but it should be something that we keep at the forefront of our consciousness. I have been in larger public dungeons where that rule is strictly enforced in play areas, to the point that I have seen people who have been asked to leave the dungeon space. Granted, those public dungeons also offer seperate spaces, or at least spaces that are far enough from play areas that enforcing that rule is entirely feasible. When two people are scening there is a connection that is imperative to the play. Safewords are not always shouted, sometimes they are mere whispers. If the sometimes subtle feedback of the bottom is lost to the Top because of ongoing conversations, the risk of injury or harm goes up accordingly. That is not to mention that conversations can also impede the space and/or mindset that those playing are trying hard to achieve. It is a common sense rule that simply requires the use of common sense and common courtesy. Unfortunately though as we all know, common sense and common courtesy aren't really all that common.

dac7ph -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 5:29:00 AM)
with you on this one hundred percent. People when in the moment are focused, even if it is in a public scene area, it is little to ask that we respect that moment. Although manners are sadly at times lacking these days. peace

Lynnxz -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 5:33:07 AM)
Talking isn't a problem, it's the creepers who get 3 feet away from you and just stare. [sm=poke.gif]

RainydayNE -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:00:01 AM)
at the one thingie i've been to, people were pretty good about not talking to loud there was a group of people at a table and that seemed to be where most of the conversation was, or at the very back there weren't a whole lot of things happening so maybe that made it easier to avoid them, but still i dropped a candle and somebody heard it from who knows how far away and flew in to help clean it up before i even realised what happened. so if anybody had to safeword, i'm sure it would've been heard as well.

StrangerThan -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:11:13 AM)
Not long ago I watched a black light whipping scene. A good number of folks had gathered around. The submissive was bound to a St. Andrews cross, the blend of darkness and faintly purple light giving her skin a decidedly porcelain cast. The Dom in question worked glowing bullwhips to the beat of a sound track that was all instrumentals, all mood music and he played the whips across her skin in perfect combination with the beat. When the music swelled, the whips raced and licked and stung her. When it eased, the tips slid across her back like a silken finger. Where ever the music went, the whips went with them. Forboding sound brought crackers that seemed to weep. Throbbing beats sent them thrumming across her back and ass. It was engrossing to watch, mezmerizing... until 3 people walked in, worked their way to the front and began to crowd the scene. The woman was loud, bordering on raucous. In the enclosed space of the whip room her voice reminded me of a crow screaming at the sky on a winter's day. One of the men kept inching closer and closer, keeping up a running commentary with the raven. Everyone else in the room had been silent from the start. Yes, there were the occasional whispers from one to another, but they were so low they rode along with the scene rather than disturbed it. These three however, talked openly and loudly, laughed, giggled, commented on techniques, uttered the occasional expletive. The man who kept inching closer and closer finally got too close. I asked the Dom later if he did it on purpose. He said no, but when the whip cracked about 2 inches above the guys head and sent him sprawling backwards for safety, it removed the crowding issue completely and instantly. The three left a couple of minutes later. My take on public conversation, space, and scenes is that anyone conducting them should have the respect due any performance and should have the respect due a performance where risk is involved because risk is involved. The play between those conducting a scene is often intense, the connection like they have a wire attached and are feeding off each other. Disrupting it is not only rude, but invites pain that's not intended, invites confrontations that aren't intended. Obviously some of that will depend on the place, the setting, the rules, the groups, but as a basic rule I see no reason those who do not respect the scene nor the participants should be allowed to attend or view it. I see no reason why anyone loud enough or rude enough to disrupt it should be allowed to remain in attendance. ...And that's one reason DM's exist.

colouredin -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:40:38 AM)
It depends, there are the privateish rooms which yeah no talking round there, but when you are in a large space, a hall really and someone playing then you cant stop conversation. I have been to some play areas where the session going on has been totally engrosing, others where they are obviously trying to 'be looked at' those I just ignore and carry on. Maybe its differant in the UK to over there but often there is spontanious play all over the place and also groups of people chatting and almost not realising whats going on around them. i really love that atmsphere to be honest. So long as people dont get too close and have a loud conversation about eastenders right next to the scene then i dont see how it matters.

GreedyTop -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:44:43 AM)
mist.. great post, and I am in agreement.

MsFlutter -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:52:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrangerThan Not long ago I watched a black light whipping scene. A good number of folks had gathered around. The submissive was bound to a St. Andrews cross, the blend of darkness and faintly purple light giving her skin a decidedly porcelain cast. The Dom in question worked glowing bullwhips to the beat of a sound track that was all instrumentals, all mood music and he played the whips across her skin in perfect combination with the beat. When the music swelled, the whips raced and licked and stung her. When it eased, the tips slid across her back like a silken finger. Where ever the music went, the whips went with them. Forboding sound brought crackers that seemed to weep. Throbbing beats sent them thrumming across her back and ass. It was engrossing to watch, mezmerizing... mercy..I think I'll be needing a cold shower now...

GreedyTop -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:54:32 AM)
I was thinking the same thing....

StrangerThan -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 6:56:21 AM)
I agree that it depends coloredin. Right next to the dark room whipping scene was an open area with folks involved in wide variety of types of play a meeting hall type of atmosphere where play, talk, music.. all of it was wall to wall. There is no one answer to this type of question. A lot of it will depend on where you are, what's expected, and basic common sense. If I walk into a side room where the play is intense and obviously the people involved are strongly connected by it, repect for it should be observed. Walk out into a play space where every corner is inhabited, someone is strung up in the middle, wax is being drooled over someone on your right, someone on your left is being flogged, where you wend your way among them... it's a different atmosphere, a different expectation, a different mindset among those playing. The clutter, the chatter, the sounds of impact and the sounds of the results... all of it are part of the experience, part of the subspace. I think the only real answer to how one acts in public play spaces it to exercise common sense and be aware of the expectations of not only the place where you are, but of the scene you're observing..

colouredin -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:00:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrangerThan I think the only real answer to how one acts in public play spaces it to exercise common sense and be aware of the expectations of not only the place where you are, but of the scene you're observing.. Yep thats how I have always played things, obviously read the specific clubs rules and then use my own perception of things while im in there. I thankfully dont think I have ever interupted a scene at a play club to date so it obviously works for me.

T1981 -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:04:29 AM)
We have never been to a public play area, so this is a really good thread to read and keep in mind. Thank you for posting this! (I'm prone to getting excited and talking loudly, so this is a great reminder of why it's not only a bad idea, but an unsafe one as well!)

LadyPact -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:05:41 AM)
I have to say that I agree with your thoughts on the matter, erin. On more than one occasion, I've witnessed what conversation in the play area has done to detract from a scene. Sometimes it's just a nuisance. Other times, it's an outright disruption. I can't help but think of one instance a couple of years back where this was a problem at an event one night. It was being held at our local group at the home of some members who have a very nice play space. In attendance that night were a husband and wife who were fairly new to the lifestyle. The gal undressed and was restrained. The two of them began to play. Not far off, two women began a conversation within the play area. It was quiet at first but became more distracting as it went on. I was playing Myself at the time in the same area and could hear the voices as well. Not quite loud enough to follow the topic, but loud enough that it was breaking part of My concentration and I was more aware of what was going on around Me than I normally would have been when I was only focused on the bottom. After a bit, some of the conversation led to some laughing, which was obviously distressing the female of the players not far off from Me. She was still learning to feel comfortable playing in public and being naked in front of others. When she heard the laughing, it made her very uncomfortable. So much so that it ruined her head space and the scene was halted. The evening was pretty much ruined for the two of them. I felt terrible for the two of them and completely lost all respect for the young so called domme who didn't have the sense to follow the dungeon rules of the place that night. Even after she spoiled the scene for the couple, she never bothered to apologize. I have to admit, I still don't think much of her to this day after the incident.

colouredin -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:12:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Not quite loud enough to follow the topic, but loud enough that it was breaking part of My concentration and I was more aware of what was going on around Me than I normally would have been when I was only focused on the bottom. I agree with your post that these people were out of order, but this line got me wondering. If you are playing in public then can you ever be totally focused on the bottom? If you are then why would you choose to play in public wouldnt it be better to do so at home? Or is it maybe about the furnature and space? Im actually curious, I know why i like playing in public but until reading this i have never really thought about it from a Tops point of view.

GreedyTop -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:28:07 AM)
kisses my colourful girl As a bottom, I can promise you that I can be ENTIRELY focused on the scene (until and unless someone not involved disrupts it). When I've topped (albeit, not in a public space, but with others around) I do become ENTIRELY focused on what I am doing.. without distractions, the rest of the world goes away and it's just me and the bottom.. (again with the above caveat). In a space where people are considerate to the scene, and keep their voices down, etc.. it isnt that hard to focus, for me

BondageBarbieX -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:29:01 AM)
I have heard it is a problem and when people talk,get to close and use cell phones to take photos.I think it is rude but unfortunately it happens.

colouredin -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:29:33 AM)
Thanks my beautiful one See for me part of the attraction is knowing that there are people around, not knowing if they are ignoring me or watching me or whatever, to me that becomes part of the scene rather than a destraction if you get what i mean.

GreedyTop -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:30:42 AM)
KNowing they are there is one thing.. having some inconsiderate twat braying with laughter not 10 feet away IS a distraction

colouredin -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:32:12 AM)
yeah that would be, luckily I have never had it happen to me, i think i would cry, but general chatter and whispers are quite nice. Its what I mean about being seinsible with it all. I dont think you can expect utter silence from the people that would be eerie

MsFlutter -> RE: Conversation in public play areas (1/6/2009 7:36:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop KNowing they are there is one thing.. having some inconsiderate twat braying with laughter not 10 feet away IS a distraction Do you think it would be breaking any dungeon rules to snap the noisy ones in the back of the head with an industrial-strength rubber band? (from 10' away, who really is going to see the source, right?) [sm=angel.gif]

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