Looking for advice (Full Version)

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nastysir1 -> Looking for advice (1/4/2006 10:33:07 AM)

I new to this site so bare with me.. I was born with the Dom desires in me.. But wasnt able to bring them out till latly.. Need advise on good sites to learn more.. I am NOT a wanna be..



amayos -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 10:45:07 AM)

Just following the forum chat on collarme.com can be a good source, if you know what to look out for. ;)


http://www.takeninhand.com is one url that comes to mind, as well as

http://www.humbledfemales.com has potential (even if it's brand new and not quite up to having much content at the moment)








RainGod -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 11:02:15 AM)

sigh.... Man, I gotta tell ya... in My own opinion, websites are the last place to really learn about this lifestyle. I truly believe some sites (not this one) but some which shall remain nameless have done more harm to the lifestyle than good.

It seems to Me that of late, if you don't "do it like so-and-so.com says do it, youre doing it allllll wrong." I for one do not like to be so genericly labeled and packaged neatly just for the sake of "fitting in".

My best advice on how to learn is to find some good people in a group who are willing to share real life experiences and possibly even find a mentor. There are a lot of folks right here on these boards who have solid real life experience and have lived this lifestyle and who are more than happy to help you out.

Best of luck to you, Friend. Gaurd well your heart if you seek a submissive online. There may be some people online, but there are also some pretty foul ones too.

By the way...hello again, everyone!



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 11:04:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nastysir1

Need advise on good sites to learn more.


Well...what is it you are looking to learn more about? If you are looking to pursue this in three dimensions, I suggest googling the town you live in with the words "BDSM" and "munch". Go out into the real world and talk to people...watch and listen...you will learn a lot more doing that then you can from any website.

Taggard



wolffeathers -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 11:47:59 AM)

I have stated this before in another post.

You WILL be suprised by how many people you know are into BDSM in one form or another.

IMHO, those are the ones that you need to talk to, as they are friends, and can give you better advice, as they KNOW YOU.



perverseangelic -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 12:17:18 PM)

I might consider changing your handle. At least to me, it gives a pretty negative first impression.

Best, best luck to you!



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 12:21:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

I might consider changing your handle. At least to me, it gives a pretty negative first impression.



When I first read it, my mind turned the "1" into a lower case "L", and the "s" into a "g"...so it read as "nastygirl"...his picture then totally confused me.

That said, if he realy is a nasty sir, he shouldn't change his handle...though I do have that Janet Jackson song stuck in my head right now.

Taggard



fastlane -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 12:55:29 PM)

How do you know you were born with Dom Desires? Did you want to whip the Doctor's butt, instead of him whipping yours at birth? I'm not sure if Dominant/submissive behaviour is genetic or not, but that's for a different Thread. My suggestion to you would be very simple.
Read these boards and try to make friends. Asks questions and perhaps look around for local groups where you live. Naturally, read and try to understand where you fit in and once you understand that....look for a partner to make the fit work.

BTW, I love nasty girls.....but I'll take a rain check! You might start this process by changing your screen name.




















RainGod -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 1:03:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

I might consider changing your handle. At least to me, it gives a pretty negative first impression.

Best, best luck to you!


Outstanding idea! I can certainly see where a screen name might interfere with one's ability to learn. j/k

Perhaps I could change Mine to Arnold Puppybreath....



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 1:08:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod

Perhaps I could change Mine to Arnold Puppybreath...


Since we seem to be drifting into a discussion of how one appears online, I am having trouble linking your posts to your use of "Me" and "Mine". Your posts seem reasonable, yet I have always used the capped pronoun as a way to quickly eliminate posers/losers. Tell me its just a bad habit from years of forced IRC chat rooming, or something...

Taggard



sweetpettjenny -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 3:19:21 PM)

my advice...find a local r/t group or munch in youir area and join.
quote:

ORIGINAL: nastysir1

I new to this site so bare with me.. I was born with the Dom desires in me.. But wasnt able to bring them out till latly.. Need advise on good sites to learn more.. I am NOT a wanna be..




RainGod -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 4:03:17 PM)

The Taggster posted thusly:

quote:

Since we seem to be drifting into a discussion of how one appears online, I am having trouble linking your posts to your use of "Me" and "Mine". Your posts seem reasonable, yet I have always used the capped pronoun as a way to quickly eliminate posers/losers. Tell me its just a bad habit from years of forced IRC chat rooming, or something...


I think perhaps it is a rather odd remnant of the old days in IRC and from posting on (god forbid) WebTV's BDSM boards. It was, oddly enough, the opposite there... one was perceived a "wannabe" if he did not cap the pronouns. To obtain much desired information (and dare I even say fit in?) I think I saw no harm in a simple custom.

Actually... it's a nervous tick..and I just...cannot...quite..... shake....it.... lol



xxblushesxx -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 6:07:42 PM)

Yah, I was surprised to see your pic too, thought it was a 'nastygirl' posting...(maybe we are all just getting too old, and need larger moniters?)

Well, I have to say that I did google the town I live in with bdsm, a few weeks ago, and found a group at another site ...a real sex site...and this group...well, most of them had their thingy's exposed, and looked like they all were just looking to get laid. They didn't seem at all into the lifestyle except for the fact that maybe it could get them some.

If I had to rely on the town I live to learn about bdsm, I guess I wouldn't know a thing....

But, that's why I'm here, I guess...

Christina



MHOO314 -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 6:18:27 PM)

fastlane, I so adore your responses and as a matter of fact, I was supposed to die, surprise when a healthy baby was born---yeah I was born Dominant-- let Me the hell out of here-----hot, sassy and in charge----and oh yeah, Im a nasty Girl--but ewwww that screen name---nastysir---so-- yesterdays news---



newflowers -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 6:46:09 PM)

you guys are such meanies.

i think it is easier for a female sub to find a mentor - not someone posing as a mentor but really looking for sex, but a real mentor. i was lucky that i did. before i ever went on a meet, posted a profile or anything, i was on a different site and asked a question. it was there i was contacted by a man who actually lived in another country. he sent me essays, gave me book titles, asked questions and other specific pretty much academic study about dominance and submission, about myself, about what i want and why i want it. he taught me how to look at profiles and read them and also read what is not being said. i was very fortunate and spent almost a year in study before he pronounced me ready and able to seek what i want as well as portect myself in the process. he never tried to become anything other than my teacher and he helped me more than i can say.

i don't know that there is much of that happening for new doms.

check out enternal ensalvement. read every book you can get your hands on. think and respond to forum posts - collar me is a pretty friendly place in spite of the responses you've received so far. there is a gentleman and his wife on this site who have a website - the lovingdominant.org - good stuff and the book is great also. read, read, read, read, read, read and think about it, write about it and think and write some more - ask questions here if you do not live in a place where you can attend workshops.

good luck to you.

newflowers -

p.s.
from a purely aesthetic point of view, the name really does need to change

p.p.s. -

i now have TWO handcuffs - yipee!



JohnWarren -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 7:09:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: newflowers
i don't know that there is much of that happening for new doms.


I hope they are still there. I've had very good luck with people helping me. I think women get more offers. Men get fewer but have to put up with fewer "will mentor for pussy" deals.

quote:


there is a gentleman and his wife on this site who have a website - the lovingdominant.org - good stuff and the book is great also.


Thank you



HoosierScorpio -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 8:02:22 PM)

I would start by attending local munches and events in your area. Then some good books to start reading is erotic bondage and SM 101 by Jay Wiseman also another good book is called The Topping Book this is a good place to start to reading the forum to know what can go right and go wrong. Find real people in the lifestyle some will be willing to mentor you. I know couple of guys who was mentor by Mistress or from another Master.



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 9:16:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod
Actually... it's a nervous tick..and I just...cannot...quite..... shake....it.... lol


I did my time in the IRC rooms...so I fully understand the habit.

You might want to consider kicking it...or not. What you have to say usually makes up for the way in which you say it. *wink*

Taggard



OscarHargraves -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 9:23:37 PM)

quote:

I am NOT a wanna be..


This is an obvious lie. Of COURSE you're a Wannabe. You wannabe a Dom and you wannabe learning more about how to do that. The difference is that you're an HONEST wannabe and that's cool.



quietkitten -> RE: Looking for advice (1/4/2006 9:27:31 PM)

I think that LadyA has a copy of "The Twue Dom/Domme" handbook.... maybe she will lend it out?



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