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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Total Obedience Means ...? (1/7/2009 5:13:25 PM)
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ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
What does that mean to you?
It means exactly what it sounds like... when I give a command, or when I have established a policy, the servant obeys without second-guessing me.
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Does it exist? Can it exist?
It can and does exist, though what I consider "total obedience" for my servants may not look like such to someone else, due to the way that my rules are constructed (for example, we have a rule in place that, if there is any confusion about something a servant is commanded to do, that servant is -required- to ask for clarification rather than just going ahead and doing what xhe -thinks- we mean. To an outsider, this may appear that the servant is questioning our orders, but, in fact, xhe would be obeying an existing protocol.)
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How far can you realisitically take it?
Realistically, I think you can take it as far as the individuals within the relationship accept. I'm not shy about saying that I expect that in a serious long-term relationship, I will be working towards developing a dynamic where complete obedience is part of the package... if someone isn't interested in that, at any place or time, then xhe probably won't be in a relationship with me. If xhe says xhe -does- want to yield at that level, then I'll expect follow-thru. In the end, the servant always has the right to walk away, and the keeper always has the right to release a servant who isn't able to give what the keeper expects. That is, basically, the bottom line.
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Does it reflect dominating or domineering?
labels like 'dominating' vs. 'domineering' are typically applied by outsiders who really don't have any right to judge my relationships. For me, if this is part of the relationship that I'm involved in, then it is part of our relationship -- it is irrelevant whether someone else outside the relationship considers my behavior dominating or domineering.
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Does asking for it disregard a submissive/slaves wants, needs, desires, hard limits?
I think that sometimes, the demand for total obedience may reach a point where previously expressed limits and needs may be set aside -by that servant- in hir striving to obey. A good keeper will remember to consider those things that could impact the health and productivity of the servant, and that is just common sense. In our household, it is also true that, for those servants who walk this path, the servant -chooses- to allow those desires and wants that conflict with our directives to be set aside in the interests of serving at this level. In a sense, it is something that we, as the keepers, take away -- but like everything else in the case of voluntary servitude, the choice to remain in the relationship and abide by its tenets comes from the decisions of those involved, so if the rules -do- deny these things, then it is by mutual agreement that they are set aside.
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Can total obedience reside side by side with self reliant and independent?
Absolutely. The role of head butler and/or chatelaine in our household, when we have one, is a role in which a great responsibility rests on the shoulders of that servant. Xhe is in a position where we have delegated things to hir that require self-reliance, independent decisionmaking, and great personal integrity... however, there is no question that the decisions made are made with the good of the household and the commanding keepers in mind -- Independent thought is combined with a foundation of rules and expectations that enable the best interests of the household and the family to be the guiding principle.
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