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Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 11:22:10 AM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		.....but it seems that almost all the advice, opinion and experience is the result of a female sub/slaves serving predominantly masters or mistresses that offer advice where men as sub/slave is also a predominant occurrence as well.
Is there any advice to be had by those where a female sub/slave serves a mistress or even mistresses that own more than one female sub/slave without men as part of the relationship?
It's an observation that required such an inquiry and is not meant to be offensive.


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To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 11:31:49 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Opposite sex relationships are more common.  It's as simple as that.

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 11:34:13 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Females submissives make up the bulk of frequent posters on Collarme, especially in the Ask a Submissive forum. I wouldn't take that as anything more than proportional response. As for experience their current status may or may not reflect the bulk of their experiences. I currently serve a male dom, but I have 7 years under my belt that was spent in a lesbian relationship without D/s at all, another 7 years that I spent as a top playing with both men and woman and so on and so forth. Advice, regardless of whether it comes from a specific gender or orientation is only as good or bad as it pertains to a particular situation. If it doesn't work, one is always free to discard it.. and if it does work, it doesn't really matter what the source of that advice may be. 

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 11:43:40 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		As Aileen and Celeste have already mentioned it is the primary dynamic here.

The one thing to keep in mind, most questions are relationship questions and not particularly gender specific. Alot can be gained from ignoring gender and viewing them as human beings instead of male or female.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 12:07:22 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		I believe that emotions of hetero dynamic from either side strongly influences the reply. Any inquiries tend to be a reply of bias towards a hetero dynamic. Is it even possible to get an unbiased opinion or advice within the forums.
I understand where your advice and opinion originates, it comes from your own personal experiences. I am sure there are others as well but they rarely reply to inquiries.


_____________________________

To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 12:09:11 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Im with LAT that most relationship stuff isnt actually all that gender specific.

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 12:18:48 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		As they said- hetero focused forums get that.

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 12:24:04 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I lack the ability to comment from personal experience on serving a female as I haven't done so and don't like the idea for myself.  I lack the ability to comment from the personal experience of being served by a female s-type as I've not had one. 
< shrug >
     Davan

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 12:25:37 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

I believe that emotions of hetero dynamic from either side strongly influences the reply. Any inquiries tend to be a reply of bias towards a hetero dynamic. Is it even possible to get an unbiased opinion or advice within the forums.
I understand where your advice and opinion originates, it comes from your own personal experiences. I am sure there are others as well but they rarely reply to inquiries.



Simple answer. No, it is not possible to get an unbiased opinion from anyone. If a person wants unbiased then they should look at books of factual information. However, in the context of many of the discussions on here those will be worthless.

The reality is that whether male or female, gay or straight, there are many human qualities that do not apply to gender or sexuality. For me too assume that all opinion from a gay man/hetro man/hetro woman, is worthless to me would be purely stupid on my part. When I first came here I was very biased against dominant men and hetro submissive women. I was being an idiot.

The reality is that the opinions that tend to be the least valuable to me, as a whole, are those of other dominant women. Rarely do I identify with most of what they say and feel. Even with that being said, I will not ever say that their opinions are invalid or without worth. Because that would be stupid of me also.

The most valuable thing I've gained from these forums might just be, learning when to keep my opinions to myself.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aszhrae)
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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 1:13:49 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think any opinion or advice can be unbiased, by definition. 

I'm also with everyone who's said that relationship advice isn't gender-specific.  A few of my favorite posters ... actually several of them, now that i think of it, are from either gay or bisexual.  I just substitute pronouns when needed to make it applicable to me . 

< Message edited by mc1234 -- 1/7/2009 1:15:04 PM >

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 3:11:24 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		Heteros are the predominant relationship in this world like everybody has said. Like la tigresse said many human qualities are neuter and I'd expect most things regarding a relationship is. If you need an advice about your mistress then you could just as well read the input from sub-males who are in a relationship with a mistress.
Otherwise I'm sure you can start a lesbian forum somewhere..or feminist...or even better a lesbian feminist forum

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 3:17:32 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		To look at this from a different perspective, it is quite common that men will automatically refer to a sub/slave as being female and oft just are too lazy these days or abbreviated speech to actually type he/she or him/her. I usually try to post this way but when pressure of real life is heavy or I am tired I fail miserably and just follow the masses by referring to sub/slaves as she. I, however, never forget the boys who are as important as the girls.  

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 3:22:37 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Any inquiries tend to be a reply of bias towards a hetero dynamic


If you go into it feeling that every poster is biased, it may say more about you than them.  i'm an African-American submissive serving an African-American Dom.  Should i feel that any post made by a white(or any ethnicity other than mine) person with a Dom that isn't 6'1", caramel, and sexy as hell..., is biased?  i'm sure you'd say "no".  It would be a stretch of the imagination to think anyone without certain qualities in common with me is somehow part of a conspiracy, or biased against me just because we have differences. 

Human relations are generally more generic, and share many more similiarities than most of us would like to admit.

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 6:18:12 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		We've kept all-female households a couple of times 'round. As much as people say that men and women have completely different perspectives, it's been our experience that there are more differences between -individuals- than between gender groups, within the paradigm in which our household exists.

I would be happy to answer any questions you might have from the perspective of a dual-female-identifying-dominant household, where it pertained to the times when our household was comprised solely of female-identified servants.



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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 10:36:00 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		It had to do with hetero dynamics which seems to be the constant when it comes to shared opinion and advice towards a D/s or M/s relationship. Not even sure where the slight against race or creed was brought into the dynamic.

_____________________________

To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 10:46:32 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		The point was not about race or creed, Aszhrae... the point that several people have made is that REGARDLESS of the source, it's kind of silly to disregard good advice simply based on the gender (race/creed/etc) because it doesnt exactly match the gender/race/creed/etc makeup of yours (generic)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 10:47:22 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for the offer Calla, I will keep that in mind when I really could get both insight and advice.
I find it difficult some times to think generic when the advice being offered is coming from a sub/slave or male dominant and what of the relationship dynamic is being shared.
It would be nice to get the sub/slave or female dominant insight. That way I am more informed of what to expect from a mistress and what is expected of my self within the relationship.
I understand its different for everyone.
Really do feel that since I have not been involved in the community which I hope to remedy soon. There is a bit of a disconnection and a little bit of an outsider looking out from my little fish bowl.
The hetero dynamic I have little interest in being a part of and that seems to be where much of the advice is being posted from both sides.


_____________________________

To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 10:52:25 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		I did not bring up race in the OP. Someone else did.
I am admitting that I have a real problem with reducing the advice to the generic is as the sources are hetero relationships.
It was offered, GT, advice concerning the F-F D/s or Mistress/s dynamic to which I said thank you too already.


_____________________________

To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 11:12:02 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I know you didn't, Aszhrae.. I'm just saying that the point was to ignore the source, and concentrate on the words.  I do get that this is difficult for you..but you are making such big strides in other areas :)  



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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Is it my imagination... - 1/7/2009 11:17:40 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for the understanding GT.



_____________________________

To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 20
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