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Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/7/2009 9:02:11 PM   
conquerme77


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline 		I've been curious latley about the point of ultimate surrender.  Thinking about by I'm exploring this, for me its to find that person that can bring to me to my point of ultimate surrender.  You know that point where you were resistant, hesitant, maybe a little afraid, but then they do that something, maybe its just a word, or something they do, but you finally come to a point where you totally submit to them, to surrender.  The point where you give your will, mind and body over to that person.  What brings a person to that point?  Is it little things a person does, drop hints, is it overt?  What are the things that happen to let you finally experience that point of ultimate surrender?
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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/7/2009 9:33:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno.  If you're talking about a scene, some mix of chemistry, hormones, intensity and ability to be passive.  If you're talking about a relationship, a mix of chemistry and knowing yourself and the other person and making that leap of faith.

It's really not a big deal, it's one experience among many.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/7/2009 9:59:09 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		The point for me is for both partners to come to a peaceful, and fun place in surrendering all.
quote:

What are the things that happen to let you finally experience that point of ultimate surrender?
I'm not a submissive, but I have had a fairly peaceful relationship with a boy at one point, where the conversation and energy flowed very nicely, and hope to go there and beyond at some point again.
What is required in my opinion, is trust, consistency, an open mind, and an open heart in both directions of the D/s relationship. M


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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/7/2009 10:55:02 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: conquerme77

I've been curious latley about the point of ultimate surrender.  Thinking about by I'm exploring this, for me its to find that person that can bring to me to my point of ultimate surrender.  You know that point where you were resistant, hesitant, maybe a little afraid, but then they do that something, maybe its just a word, or something they do, but you finally come to a point where you totally submit to them, to surrender.  The point where you give your will, mind and body over to that person.  What brings a person to that point?  Is it little things a person does, drop hints, is it overt?  What are the things that happen to let you finally experience that point of ultimate surrender?


Trust.


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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 12:49:35 AM   
michelleryder


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		Both trust and chemistry are really important but for me so is love. The more you love someone the easier it is to surrender to them exactly what they want.

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 1:11:49 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		What everyone else has said plus one more thing: The concious decision to do so, to surrender.  Until you get to a place where you can say " I will!" you won't.

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Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 2:32:29 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		 with everything here!

gabrielle x

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"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 2:40:44 AM   
nafakcha


Posts: 81
Joined: 12/28/2008
From: Melbourne, FL
Status: offline 		I have to agree with previous posters that there must a mutual level of trust and chemistry/connection between the two individuals. Ultimately it does come down to making a decision consciously (or sometimes unconsciously that you realize later you made, but you made it and it works) to say i will submit/surrender. For me (and this depends on your priorities in your relationship) it comes down to the idea of doing anything that displeases Him or not doing something He wants and will make Him happy as a place I never want to go and realizing that even by doing something I normally wouldn't enjoy that I will enjoy it because He asked. Realizing that "no" is a word that doesn't exist in our dynamic. (Note, however, that because of our trust and connection that I am fully aware that our hard limits would be enforced at all times because the few we have not only do we both find ethically wrong but are illegal/major felonies/federal felonies. IMO the fact that we both can always say no if it is one of these things has nothing to do with ultimate surrender it has to do with being a human being.)

Keiko

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 3:43:00 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: conquerme77

I've been curious latley about the point of ultimate surrender.  Thinking about by I'm exploring this, for me its to find that person that can bring to me to my point of ultimate surrender.  You know that point where you were resistant, hesitant, maybe a little afraid, but then they do that something, maybe its just a word, or something they do, but you finally come to a point where you totally submit to them, to surrender.  The point where you give your will, mind and body over to that person.  What brings a person to that point?  Is it little things a person does, drop hints, is it overt?  What are the things that happen to let you finally experience that point of ultimate surrender?


77,

It is called finding the right dominant!

CP

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 3:44:38 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		Isn't surrendering always "ultimate"?

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 5:46:45 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't think I ever will hit such a point, if by ultimate you mean the point where I don't have any limits.

I'm never going to be okay with inverted suspension because it will start up my vertigo. There are things that just aren't any good for me, no matter how much I trust him. Both physical - like vertigo, and emotional - like humiliation. I do trust him to never hit those things, to never want to do me harm. But I still had to make those limits simply because he isn't me and wouldn't know about them if I didn't tell him. He's no better of a mind reader than I am.

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 6:57:13 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

What everyone else has said plus one more thing: The concious decision to do so, to surrender.  Until you get to a place where you can say " I will!" you won't.


Good point.  I do remember a turning point in my former relationship, where I said to myself, "This is it - he gets everything."  It was a conscious decision of my choosing, and a way of me to take ownership, if you will (accountability for self), of that decision.


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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 7:08:32 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline 		About a year ago, I turned to my husband and I said "Okay, I'm giving you absolute power tonight. You can do whatever you want, however you want - no complaints from me." That's how it started, and it started that way for a very small play session. I found it extremely freeing, and now all of our play sessions are like that.

For us, it was the naturaul progression in our exploration of this BDSM thing, and we're grateful for that, because without that, I don't think we would have found how emotionally and mentally satisfying this total power exchange thing is. As we go on, and more and more barriers break down, it fufills something in each of us that is deep and powerful. Giving him absolute control that one night was the start of it.


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"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 7:42:29 AM   
kristileigh


Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		the trust has got to be there. Hard to surrender if you don't feel that trust. And that certain special connection.

slave kristi


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proud submissive/slave belonging heart and soul to
Master Chris!

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 8:46:42 AM   
Dewolfsslave


Posts: 31
Status: offline 		For me, it's called simply love. And trust. It's not something that happened consciously, but evolved over time.

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 10:16:12 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Well, it hasn't happened yet, but...

it's when I give Him control over my chocolate.

The Ghiradelli, the Godiva, and yes, even the Fannie Mae.

I'm not sure I will ever be able to surrender all. I seem to always have a truffle hidden here or there.

Mostly there... 

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 10:22:02 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		it was this slave's automatic response to Him, the first time we met.
 
then her brain kicked in and reminded her about all the things she should be on the lookout for...you know, the Jeffrey Dahmer types and all...then she followed His pace.
 
it took Him longer to accept it than it took this slave to give it.

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 2:02:59 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		This could turn into one of those theoretical arguments, much like over on the total obedience thread but through them both...the idea of total obedience and ultimate surrender...what I see as the basic, strongest, most necessary building block is what we call "trust". 

beth trusts Merc...from what I've gathered from what I have read of their postings and from what a friend who is close to them has told me...that trust is full and Merc shows day after day that he is worthy of that trust.  When you can trust someone not to violate your own internal code of ethics, when you can trust someone to be caring and intelligent enough to find out what makes you tick and then be able to use that knowledge along with a certain amount of empathy to take you places you've never dreamt you could go and bring you back safe and as loved as you were before you "left", when you can trust someone not to just give orders that make absolutely no sense within the framework of your dynamic and/or relationship, then you can give what is...for you and he...total obedience and ultimate surrender.  The expectation and belief that doing so will only enhance your life and the reality of that occurring only continues to build the "trust" upon which the obedience and surrender were given to begin with.

I've had that...though in a lesser way...with my second submissive.  In the end, it was several things that destroyed what we had but looking back now, I'd have to say the biggest factor in that destruction was her inability to trust completely...not only in me and in us but more importantly, in herself.

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 3:19:11 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Not the Godiva Truffles!!! Say it isn't so!!!

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RE: Whats the point of ultimate surrender? - 1/8/2009 3:28:19 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Even better.
Fannie Mae.
I actually brought HM some back when I went to Michigan City last week.
They were having a buy-one get-one free sale!!! (see, the economy has netted us a few good things!)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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