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Ideas - 1/4/2006 4:51:05 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Maybe i should post this in ask a Mistress sections but i decided to ask my fellow subs/ slaves first. Now i am a sub at heart but my husband is very overweight and we came upon this thing called diet discpline. In a word i weigh him and then he gets paddled for evey pound he is over. My question it is not working that well and i want to know if any of you have any ideas what i can do other than paddling any other kind of "punishment" that might work. and please don't say don't feed him lol. I feed him healthy things but he eats crap i don't buy it he does and ideas would be great thanks.

littleone

Post #: 1

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 4:58:49 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It should be something he doesn't like. If the both of you came up with the spanking...and obviously he loves it. It clearly isn't going to work.

For punishment to be punishment it has to be something distasteful.
What does he hate?

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 2

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 5:05:01 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Gotta agree with sub4hire. i quit smoking a week ago, and if all i had to do for another cigarette was take a few swats i'd probably agree -- and look forward to it..lol. i've always thought that, at least for me, punishment has to be something i'd really hate -- not for doing something i enjoy anyway..

good luck...

jimini

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 3

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 5:32:50 PM

iamdownonmyknees

Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline

I've always thought that enforced isolation, boredom a powerful behavior modifier.

Richard

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Post #: 4

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 5:47:49 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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what kind of excercise program is he on?

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Post #: 5

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 6:31:56 PM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
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what about an exercise program in which you work with him 0 i know these are some very good dvds available that the two of you could do together - how about walking or biking, i have to tell you - i am an old grammy and roller blading is too cool - get really good blades.

perhaps you should try something else - make it a positive game instead of a negative one. make it about sex - that's always good i think. if he does not eat junk during the day, you give him really good head - if he does eat junk - cold bed. after 30 - 60 minutes of exercise, the two of you shower or give him a massage; when he drops five pounds he gets the sexual favor of his choice. that sort of thing - make it fun for the both of you and make it about reward and not punishment - he gains a better body, increased health, and sensual pleasure for following his diet and exercise plan. have him keep a journal of everything he eats, use a pedometer during the day, perhaps he can get in 15-20 minutesof walking at lunch time. the two of you spend more time together and it becomes a positive experience.

good luck -

newflowers

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 6

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 6:33:41 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
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Have him eat something he hates...

4 oz liver or a spoon of catfood for every pound..ewwwww

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(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 7

RE: Ideas - 1/4/2006 6:56:03 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
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I agree with Newflowers on this...I think that positive reinforcement is going to work a lot better than negative reinforcement especially if you work together and keep each other motivated.

(in reply to Elegant)

Post #: 8

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 3:55:47 AM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

I've always thought that enforced isolation, boredom a powerful behavior modifier.

Richard

=============

you are of course thinking about most people needing people.
hopefully this guy is not like some of us and enjoys being alone....

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drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
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(in reply to iamdownonmyknees)

Post #: 9

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 4:28:29 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

IMHO, obesity or being over weight is someting far outside the world of BDSM-- we have seen too many times articles on eating disorders which he may have or low thyroid, or a glandular problem---no matter how much you paddle, you are mixing apples and asparagus basically---start with a medical exam to rule out any chemical reason for the need for junk food ( many thyroid conditions will manifest themselves that way)--get him on a medical diet based on his body type, ( fast burner, slow burner, find out how much body fat he has to weight)--then REWARD do not punish---this is no different then if you were in a vanilla relationship--common sense needs to prevail here, not the tools of the life.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 10

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 4:45:06 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

this is no different then if you were in a vanilla relationship--common sense needs to prevail here, not the tools of the life.

thank you MHOO314, I wanted to say it, but was waiting to hear what kind of excercise program he was on before getting on my high horse again

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 11

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 4:59:38 AM

Heinz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

In a word i weigh him and then he gets paddled for evey pound he is over. My question it is not working that well and i want to know if any of you have any ideas what i can do other than paddling any other kind of "punishment" that might work.

It can work, but be sure that your husband is not going to like paddling. Think of alternative things. For example: running for xx minutes, faceslapping, drinking things he do'nt like. etc.

Heinz

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Heinz, from Holland (Europe)

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 12

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 6:17:28 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Yahank you all for you ideas. he has no medical problems we checked that out already. he has arthritic knees but i am trying to get him on a walking routine. He don';t like the paddling which is why i use it. The making him eat sometinh he don't like its a good idea. Actuallyi just got a very good idea i won't cook for him he can't cook maybe the idea of having cold sandwhichs instead of a hot meal will have some effect.

littleone

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 13

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 6:41:37 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

>IMHO, obesity or being over weight is someting far outside the world of BDSM-- we have seen too many times articles on eating disorders which he may have or low thyroid, or a glandular problem---no matter how much you paddle, you are mixing apples and asparagus basically---start with a medical exam to rule out any chemical reason for the need for junk food ( many thyroid conditions will manifest themselves that way)--get him on a medical diet based on his body type, ( fast burner, slow burner, find out how much body fat he has to weight)--then REWARD do not punish---this is no different then if you were in a vanilla relationship--common sense needs to prevail here, not the tools of the life. <

I don't know if you ever saw SUPER SIZE ME, but one of the themes in that movie is how bad food, in this case McDonalds (high fat/high sugar), is addictive. The body develops cravings AND there are mood swings that revolve around getting a fix. The protagonist in SSM gained something like 25 llbs in the first two weeks of his new "diet."

One thing is clear, if anyone had the answer, fix, or real straighline way to losing weight ------- that person would be a billionare. The answer and the problems involve lifestyle (eating habits), nutrition (what you eat), metabolism (different for eveyone), and exercise (everyone needs 20 minutes of cardio 3x a week for basic health --- for fat burn --- cardio should be lower impact and longer in duration.)

Reading SUGAR BUSTERS helped me get in better shape. Its main theme was how foods with empty calories (sugar, white bread, pasta, potatoes, junk food) are most likely to be converted into fat when ingested. Hence, one key is to avoid empty calories (sodas, high fructose drinks, candies, deserts, and starches high on the glycemic index etc.) while eating well and hearty. (Keep eating --- one doesn't want his metabolism to drop.)

I've lately been eating 350 calorie bran muffins from the bakery ---- (I didn't know they had so many calories) ---- and have found them both satisfying, tasty, and filling ----- and I haven't gained weight eating them. This means my body isn't turning them into fat and that the calories are not so empty.

In sum, I think weight loss is a personal / technical question ----- not a BDSM offshoot. If you paddle your husband for gaining weight, he is punished, but does he know where he errred? Does he know the keys to his own weight gain and loss? Next, suppose it works, the paddling solution, has he as a person really learned to take care of himself?

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 14

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 7:03:23 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

this is no different then if you were in a vanilla relationship--common sense needs to prevail here, not the tools of the life.

but she IS in a vanilla relationship....her husband is not her Dom or her sub!!!

to littleone:

if your husband is buying junk food and eating it after deciding to lose weight--with or without your paddle--the problem is not whether your punishment technique is effective. Besides, how effective can you be when the only thing YOU control is the paddle?

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 15

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 7:08:30 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

this is no different then if you were in a vanilla relationship--common sense needs to prevail here, not the tools of the life.

but she IS in a vanilla relationship....her husband is not her Dom or her sub!!!

to littleone:

if your husband is buying junk food and eating it after deciding to lose weight--with or without your paddle--the problem is not whether your punishment technique is effective. Besides, how effective can you be when the only thing YOU control is the paddle?

If neither dynamic exists, why is she using paddling, it will never work--then vanilla means need to kick in--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 16

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 7:19:01 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think you should just do this like a vanilla person. Talk to a doctor, get a good diet and exercise regimen together and be eachother's support buddies. This includes giving encouragement, not letting either one of you slack off, and occasional ribbing and nagging.

BTW, doms and subs can do exactly this if they want too. Plenty of doms tell their subs to be good trainers and give encouragement (shocking I know)

_____________________________

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(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 17

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 12:38:31 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

after he got home from wrok this afternoon i weighed him amd he lost a pound not much but a start he saw how good i looked whrn i dropped and now he lost a pound maybe it is the start of a trend i hope so.

littleone

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 18

RE: Ideas - 1/5/2006 3:00:57 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I don't mean to be Negative Nellie here, but I think the problem here is exactly like quitting smoking or joining Alcoholics Anonymous or kicking a drug habit. They have to WANT to do it for themselves, and no amount of prodding or punishments or rewards from someone else is going to work unless they do.

Of course, these are all good suggestions for support, and he's lucky to have such a good wife who wants the best for him. But if he's cheating by buying junk and just blatantly being non-compliant with the program, then it sounds to me like he just doesn't deep down in really want to do it. And until he does, it won't happen.

chymes

< Message edited by windchymes -- 1/5/2006 3:05:03 PM >

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 19

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