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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 8:14:14 AM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		The funniest letter we ever received was not on CM, but wanted to share anyway.
This letter came from a swingers site, while searching for a bifem.

And I qoute:


"This what me fish look like when we eat"


Any translations on this? Maybe a hidden language that I don't know about. Needless to say, we were never sure how we should have responded to this.

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 11:54:37 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I don't know what the funniest was, but I got one today that said "need me 2 be toilet slave? looking 4 someone to serve. female preferred. can switch"

Yesterday I got one that said "get on your knees bitch. you need to relocate here."

Yeaaaahhhh, about that...

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 6:58:54 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I think I just got my #1 funniest.
I *think* I was supposed to be impressed when he said how hot I was
and that he'd do me easy.... but the best part was how he just couldnt
wait to get me online! ......... it's really apparent he knew how to read
a profile!
sigh.....

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 8:05:43 PM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		Your reply is priceless. laughed so hard . did he ever respond?

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 8:22:46 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

Your reply is priceless. laughed so hard . did he ever respond?


Thanks, art. Yes, my reply triggered an exchange of about 20 messages that were pretty damn funny. I wished I'd saved them. I think the guy started off with the idea of messing with me, but it ended up being a pretty good-natured and very wacky encounter for both of us. I don't mind getting screwball emails. To me it's just another opportunity to be entertained.

Bob

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/9/2006 11:06:45 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Yesterday I got another two. They were both from the same guy and they both said simply "wanna be spoiled?" I wrote back and, being in a foul mood said, "Was that message so awesome that you needed to send it twice? Read my profile before you contact me again."

So today I have another message from him in my mailbox and it says "wanna be spoiled?" Aaaahhhh. The irony. And the lovely block button.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/9/2006 12:24:34 PM   
miticantenslaved


Posts: 195
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I wonder what kind of response that would generate.


ummmmm.....

NON ANTI SEPTEM DIES PROXIMA SQVIRI
[ Not For About A Week, Squire ]
Guild Of Plumbers And Dunnykin Divers


~miti

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~


(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/9/2006 8:56:40 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Hello all,
Last night I recieved a message from an 18 year old.


"Hello and before You think I'm to Young
then your to old to know the difference."

What this meant I haven't a clue?

Sincerely, ant

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/9/2006 10:42:52 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I think it might be something along the lines of the bumper sticker, "If it's too loud then you're too old." Either way it sucks.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/10/2006 8:50:44 PM   
submystik


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		I have too many funny one liners to really count, but this one was really pathetic

i`m NAME DELETED BY ME and i would love to be your daddy and put a diaper on you and treat you like a bad little baby are you into it

Things that make you go eeewww!!!


(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/11/2006 4:00:18 PM   
EriaeMelody


Posts: 29
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		I received this letter the other day, it brought a really good chuckle from me. I am kind of interested to find out which book he got this out of lol.


quote:

Well My dear little girl, I was wondering if you are available to discuss your situation. I expect you to answer a few questions of course before further resumption of O/our discussion.


<remainder deleted>

[Mod Note: Folks, please don't copy emails here in their entirety. Feel free to quote humorous (or pathetic) excerpts, but not the whole thing.]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 1/11/2006 7:02:13 PM >

_____________________________

"It's just another day in paradise"

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/19/2006 9:38:15 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Ok What does this mean?

Must be seeking ownership for my pleasures or you will be forced.


Sounds like I have no choice!


Sincerely, Ant

(in reply to LokisBrat)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/19/2006 10:10:06 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		How NOT to win friends and influence people....

In a recent email I received:
"It has been My observation that most submissives are not very intelligent or secure. It is these qualities that allows them to be a sub."

I know...you all are wondering where the line forms.... ROFL


_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/20/2006 6:00:24 AM   
Hohoho


Posts: 135
Joined: 3/18/2005
Status: offline 		What great reading! Its nice to know those weren't in my mailbox.

The weirdest one that I remembered for more than a moment is from a man telling me to change my profile orientation status to "lesbian". Huh? What did he know that I didn't?

Oh, I almost forgot......the double/profile switcheroo.....from a "female" in Utah with the exact profile (other than name and sex) as a male in WV..."Why do you not talk to my friend? He is in WV."




k

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/20/2006 11:33:08 AM   
Meistervoneinem


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I got one the other day from a "Domme". I laughed my ass off as everyone knows there are "NO" such things as dominant females.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/21/2006 3:32:25 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you
My question is what is the Funniest letter or one/two etc. liner
that You have ever recieved?

finally i can post to this thread when i've got a fresh one (and my answer to it follows):

"greeting Girl4you,,

i was reading your profile and you sound very interesting.I was wondering if you enjoy cyber sex.i have this cyber whore house where i pimp out women to men and women..this is all in good fun and no money is involve,if you like get back and i will tell you more,thanks."

my hourly rate for emails is $500 for 50 words or less; it goes up to $1500 for 600 words.

amazingly he actually wrote back. i sent him a bill for $500.

< Message edited by girl4you2 -- 1/21/2006 3:36:30 PM >

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/21/2006 4:21:56 PM   
IceyOne


Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		LOL girl4you2, that's a pretty good one

I got one the other day from some guy who was willing to pay me $100 if I would urinate on him. The sad part though is that he was dead serious

/shakes head

it takes all kinds I guess

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/22/2006 9:12:22 AM   
WickedFemale


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline 		I get a lot of subs and slaves from Northern states that post they would like to relocate to warmer weather......and I am in Ga soon to be returning to Fla...hint hint hint

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/22/2006 12:25:32 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Icy one I would of taken the 100 dollars but that's me* bwahahahaha*

(in reply to WickedFemale)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 3/7/2006 3:02:08 PM   
RedRedWine


Posts: 157
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Lol I had this one guy just..out of the blew didn't even KNOW him tell me that he wanted to see me suck him and masturbated to the thought. I sat there thinking WELL! At least it was a different pick up line. I mean at least it wasn't like he was gonig, "did it hurt? When you fell from heaven."

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 40
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