RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship. (Full Version)

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gbperv -> RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship. (1/11/2009 4:30:46 PM)

Thanks Colouredin - I missed that in his footer. I'll check it out!



OsideGirl -> RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship. (1/11/2009 4:43:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It wasn't the style of writing, it was the entire thought stream. 
Yeah, I have to agree. It seems like even he doesn't know what he wants, but he wants his wife to fullfil it.

So, my first advice would be: figure out what exactly it is you want.

Your wife seems pretty open based on her previous exploits, so, I would say that she would probably hear you out. I mean, it pretty much sounded like you want a bedroom submissive and your previous activity was pretty close to that.  But, I don't know her.

Here's the rub, though: If she says "No", you'll need to either accept that or determine what's more important to you. Your kink or your marriage.



Jeptha -> RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship. (1/15/2009 3:46:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gbperv
...I have very little ... interest in dogma...

Well, in that case, I'd just remind you that you two can do whatever you'd like to do!
You don't have to follow any previous models - though you can study up and see what you might like to incorporate from them.

For you two it sounds like a matter of discussing how far you want to extend the D/s dynamic.

Maybe consider a bdsm checklist. It's good for at least a conversation or two. I also think it might be useful because I'm not sure that 'not being the one to initiate sex' makes your wife a submissive, exactly. I like checklists for couples because they give you a chance to talk about why something appeals or doesn't appeal, which can help you find out if your concepts of submission are similar.



Jeptha -> RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship. (1/17/2009 9:24:01 AM)

Or... perhaps a "D/s checklist" would be more appropriate.

Not sure if such an animal exists.

Seems like somebody in this modern world would have taken the time to compile one, though.

The idea of a checklist, it seems to me, is to consider things as though they were items on a menu, rather than a script to follow, which might appeal more to your 'undogmatic nature', OP.



everhope -> RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship. (1/18/2009 11:11:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gbperv


Other than Gor, would any of you recommend any good literature on the subject that really focuses on actual psychology, especially with a scientific approach? I ask because I feel I lack the real language and vocabulary to both define myself and our relationship as well as communicate here on the subject without crossing certain lines or creating confusion.


look in Alternative Lifestyles in the News section. the ResidentSadist started a thread titled BDSM Book List that many have contributed to. it could be a  good starting point for you. sorry... i don't know how to do the link thing.
 
may we all find our bliss.



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