RE: The changing face of the D/s path

RE: The changing face of the D/s path (Full Version)

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mozartsfuneral -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 8:21:46 AM)
As a young person ( 20, 21 in February) I love this life. I started researching it when I was about 14, because I had to know if there was a reason and a name for the wanting to be owned and used. I found what I was looking for and began writing horribly written fiction stories about it. six years later here I am owned twice and now with a Master that I care deeply for. I'm learning as much as I can and asking all sorts of questions...and all I can do is to ask the older generation and hopefully they will guide me!! ( That also goes to my generation. Ask questions!!!)

SteveAndJaz -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 8:51:12 AM)
I believe a lot of the younger generation are very good at grouping and therefore setting safety nets for themselves. Possibly a lot of age fakes on boards such as this but you only have to get out and about to the clubs and munches to find lots of new young blood joining in. What I love about this lifestyle is that age is never a problem. The younger ones respect the old hands and we should do the same for them.

CelticPrince -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 9:00:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mozartsfuneral As a young person ( 20, 21 in February) I love this life. I started researching it when I was about 14, because I had to know if there was a reason and a name for the wanting to be owned and used. I found what I was looking for and began writing horribly written fiction stories about it. six years later here I am owned twice and now with a Master that I care deeply for. I'm learning as much as I can and asking all sorts of questions...and all I can do is to ask the older generation and hopefully they will guide me!! ( That also goes to my generation. Ask questions!!!) mozarts..... it appears that your one of those that will stay and contribute to the path. thanks for your input. CP

T1981 -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 9:12:47 AM)
My husband and I started out our serious exploration of D/s when I was 24, and our mentor through the early stages (and even now) is herself only 24 right now. She has been in the scene for years, and has always been safe, and in fact, her continued impression of safety upon US has really helped us become comfortable in the scene, as we now go into everything with safety as paramount. I think those of us who are younger are in some way very lucky - we have so many of the beginner's resources at our fingertips, and it's much easier to keep safety and consenutuality in mind when you see it in big red letters on every single BDSM site you go to. I count us lucky to be entering in these years, really.

CelticPrince -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 10:26:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: T1981 My husband and I started out our serious exploration of D/s when I was 24, and our mentor through the early stages (and even now) is herself only 24 right now. She has been in the scene for years, and has always been safe, and in fact, her continued impression of safety upon US has really helped us become comfortable in the scene, as we now go into everything with safety as paramount. I think those of us who are younger are in some way very lucky - we have so many of the beginner's resources at our fingertips, and it's much easier to keep safety and consenutuality in mind when you see it in big red letters on every single BDSM site you go to. I count us lucky to be entering in these years, really. T1981 Well hell yes I agree that the use of the path for a longer period of your life is a fortunate aspect and you appear to have entered it properly. thanks for your thoughts. CP

mozartsfuneral -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 10:59:51 AM)
Have no fear. I'm not going to leave who i am.

ResidentSadist -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 1:58:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince ...So my thoughts are focused on whether the influx of much younger folks will have any long term effect on the path as most of us know it to be. Any thoughts? Yuppers . . . the winds of change from TNG are already blowing, get a coat because it will get windy for us old folks soon.

T1981 -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 2:03:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Yuppers . . . the winds of change from TNG are already blowing, get a coat because it will get windy for us old folks soon. Don't despair, we like you old folks. :)

parakeet89 -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 2:37:07 PM)
Maybe it's because lots of younger people are curious, and signing up to sites such as that makes it easy to indulge curiousity? I joined this site around a year ago on a different account, just because I was curious about what it was about. I had been fantasizing about being owned for years, but didn't become serious about wanting to be in the 'lifestyle' until recently.

RedMagic1 -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 3:14:05 PM)
I fail to see any downside from kink's move from "taboo" to "not-taboo" over the last twenty years. Example: J, a female vanilla friend of mine is setting me up with a personal friend of hers next week. And J knows I've dated in the fetish industry, and knows stories about me that I've never posted here. J is a musician, and so is her friend, so that helps. But I remember when doing kinky shit wasn't in the, "OK, whatever," category. How is it anything less than awesome to be openly kinky and still have vanilla friends arranging dates for you? I don't feel a cold wind. I feel a tropical breeze.

CelticPrince -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 5:28:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince ...So my thoughts are focused on whether the influx of much younger folks will have any long term effect on the path as most of us know it to be. Any thoughts? Yuppers . . . the winds of change from TNG are already blowing, get a coat because it will get windy for us old folks soon. RS, hold out hope, the jury is still out on the overall effect. CP

beargonewild -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 6:07:54 PM)
From what I have seem in my few years of jumping into BDSM more seriously then in my youth, I can see the younger generation having short term effect on this path yet in the long term they will evolve and make this their own just like my generation had with the knowledge given to us from the previous generation. I am willing to admit that when I first started my own journey, I did make mistakes which many would shake their heads and want to smack me senseless! Yet I had a good base of knowledge from people who I consider more knowledgeable and had the age of experience I lack. Even now I constantly learn something new from the all of you who I consider older: not in chronological age but from having more years of experience. I try to take the approach in the same manner when I act as "big brother" to a younger person who is coming out of the "gay closet" and seeks my thoughts and my experience. I do not have all the answers nor do I have the right answers yet I firmly believe that if I share my knowledge of my beliefs that maybe they will find something which may make their journey a little less rough. The reality is TNG generation will take from the world of BDSM and make it their own, just like each of us had done when we began this path. They will make many mistakes and screw up royally, or not. ~bear who still feels like a total greenhorn even now~

CelticPrince -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 6:24:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beargonewild From what I have seem in my few years of jumping into BDSM more seriously then in my youth, I can see the younger generation having short term effect on this path yet in the long term they will evolve and make this their own just like my generation had with the knowledge given to us from the previous generation. I am willing to admit that when I first started my own journey, I did make mistakes which many would shake their heads and want to smack me senseless! Yet I had a good base of knowledge from people who I consider more knowledgeable and had the age of experience I lack. Even now I constantly learn something new from the all of you who I consider older: not in chronological age but from having more years of experience. I try to take the approach in the same manner when I act as "big brother" to a younger person who is coming out of the "gay closet" and seeks my thoughts and my experience. I do not have all the answers nor do I have the right answers yet I firmly believe that if I share my knowledge of my beliefs that maybe they will find something which may make their journey a little less rough. The reality is TNG generation will take from the world of BDSM and make it their own, just like each of us had done when we began this path. They will make many mistakes and screw up royally, or not. ~bear who still feels like a total greenhorn even now~ bear, Your comments make some sense for those in the twenties, but i am still concerned with the teeie bobbers, but that is just me! CP

RedMagic1 -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 6:42:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince Your comments make some sense for those in the twenties, but i am still concerned with the teeie bobbers, but that is just me! CP I suppose this makes me either Stupid or Fake, but I don't see the negative in an increased pool of 18-year-old women who enjoy being tied up and whaled on. If a college freshman asks you to "initiate" her, don't you find that flattering -- and amazingly hot? And you must know that a hell of a lot of women start out as subs and become switches or dominants later. So this means an increasing pool of under-30 dominant women in the world for all the male subs who believe they are facing million-to-one odds. What's the real issue here? The scene and protocols won't be the same as they were when you first joined?

DominaSmartass -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/9/2009 9:08:12 PM)
One of my pet peeves about the whole "TNG" concept is that we are not the "next" generation any more than those in their 40s were the next generation 20 years ago and those in their 60s were the next generation 40 years ago. People age, it happens, and despite our best efforts it always seems like the younger ones come along to replace you ;) Don't think that "we" the 18-40 crowd are any different than you were when you were our age. You might not have had the internet or cell phones but you made the same mistakes and learned the same lessons. I've seen a 22 year old be the most devoted slave you could ever imagine and a 50 year old make juvenile mistakes like getting drunk while on a date with a dom she barely knew who then abandoned her at the club when he didn't feel like making sure she got home safely. I drove her in her car back to my house and let her spend the night because she was too far gone to do anything other than crash. I'm nearly 25 and have been in the scene since age 20 - and have known at least superficially that I was into "S&M" since as far back as I can remember, probably age 10. In my opinion, I'm further along this "path" than someone of any age who is just realizing this aspect of him or herself for the first time. I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone else, just that the thing about journeys and lives is that they are individual and any generalization you can make, I can find 100 examples to disprove it. Can't we just accept that there will always be new and young people becoming involved and that "new" and "young" are not one in the same? Some people will be wise beyond their years and some people will be dumb despite theirs. I don't think there's anything special about my generation that makes us better or worse, smarter or dumber, more real or more fake, than any previous generation was or any future generation will be.

CelticPrince -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/10/2009 2:20:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince Your comments make some sense for those in the twenties, but i am still concerned with the teeie bobbers, but that is just me! CP I suppose this makes me either Stupid or Fake, but I don't see the negative in an increased pool of 18-year-old women who enjoy being tied up and whaled on. If a college freshman asks you to "initiate" her, don't you find that flattering -- and amazingly hot? And you must know that a hell of a lot of women start out as subs and become switches or dominants later. So this means an increasing pool of under-30 dominant women in the world for all the male subs who believe they are facing million-to-one odds. What's the real issue here? The scene and protocols won't be the same as they were when you first joined? RM1, Well noot so much as a real issue as what impact the really young ones have on the path for all users. It does not effect me in any shape or form as my filter is a min age of 35; but in my opinion the really young folks simply do not know what they seek and thus are time wasters for those that will consider that age group. Worse yet, to act like they want it ,what ever it is, and then hollar abuse and the "D" has his ass in the slammer. I could go on but that might be a couple to consider. CP

Daenok -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/10/2009 2:51:06 AM)
I will add what I can to the discussion. I suppose I always enjoyed SM type porn when I was young, but never really gave it much thought other than that. I got married very young (19) to a woman I had only really known for about 2 years. At about 20 or 21 I really begin to understand more of who I was, what I wanted, and what i needed. She had never heard of anything like this, but was very comfortable with all of the play and sexual aspects of it. We are both now 23, and are really starting to learn how to bring D/s out of the bedroom and into our life. It has been a process over the last few years, with a number of failures on the way. Most of the was because I either didn't know, or didn't know how to express what it was that I needed from her. Things are getting better now, and hopefully they will stay that way. At the same time, there is so much we need to learn, from safe techniques for play to how to sustain our dynamic for more than a few months. It is interesting, had we waited longer and I found out more of myself I am sure I would have never married her and instead looked for someone who I would fulfill mutual needs with. Luckily she has become the Mistress I always needed, and is very content with our arrangement. Had that not been the case however, I can only see that by now we would be divorced and another statistical failure among teen marriages. At this point, our D/s life has become one of the strongest bonds that hold us together. Hopefully others will find that as well as they come into this life at a rather young age.

BitaTruble -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/10/2009 3:06:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince So my thoughts are focused on whether the influx of much younger folks will have any long term effect on the path as most of us know it to be. Any thoughts? CP I certainly hope so! Fresh meat, new blood, original ideas, technological advances, youth, enthusiam, spirit. So maybe they'll stumble a few times.. hell, someone who is 50, 60 or 70 stumbles, too.. so what? Rock on youth! Glad yer here and can't wait to see what ya'll bring to the table.

kallisto -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/10/2009 3:09:09 AM)
I look at the younger people and many of them have no clue about themselves, life, what they want or how they want it. (There are exceptions to this as always). When I was young I knew what I wanted and I was lucky enough to get it. I was with a Dom much older than me and life was grand until His sudden death. Now my world was turned upside down, but I still knew what I wanted out of life and the lifestyle I wanted to have. Maybe we (the older ones) see more of an influx of younger people into the "dance" to use the OP's word, because of the availability of the internet 24 hours a day, media is always in the light, etc. I think those that know themselves and what they want will only have a positive influence on "our lifestyle". Those that are testing the waters or are unsure as to what they want, or think they have found a new play toy will go by the wayside quickly as their "fad" won't last. Same as those that are older who have a sudden "revelation" that they want "kinky" and come on board only to discover it was something they thought could help them get through their midlife crisis. We see them come and we see them go. But whether they are young or old or in between, it doesn't change me and who I am.

colouredin -> RE: The changing face of the D/s path (1/10/2009 3:22:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince Well noot so much as a real issue as what impact the really young ones have on the path for all users. It does not effect me in any shape or form as my filter is a min age of 35; but in my opinion the really young folks simply do not know what they seek and thus are time wasters for those that will consider that age group. Worse yet, to act like they want it ,what ever it is, and then hollar abuse and the "D" has his ass in the slammer. I could go on but that might be a couple to consider. CP See this to me will be a product of not just young people but indeed anyone new to all this. I do wonder how many so called teeny boppers you have actually met? They dont suddenlly become deers in headlights simply because they decide to try this path out. Also there are time wasters no matter what age group you have met, in fact i find that younger people are far more likely to be out and about and available to meet them. Also someone later who was talking about how they may just be trying it out. Sorry but so what? that happens with pretty much everything, there is no rule that you should enjoy everything you try and there is no rule that makes you stick with something. That doesnt change no matter whether we are talking about sexual oriantation or a chess club.

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