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RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 3:34:04 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Personally, there have been as many younger individuals who have greatly impressed me, as there have been those my age or older.  Probably more, because youth, coupled with experience and wisdom, is something that stands out and I take notice.

I don't think it is the influx of the younger generation changing the face of the D/s path so much as technology, and the availability of information on the subject of  BDSM. 

My only concern regarding the younger individuals (and any inexperienced persons) experimenting, is the risk of harm, and the repercussions being legislative interference in the form of new laws.  Realistically, that risk has always existed every time anyone ventured beyond the slap and tickle.   Or have we been there, and done it all, so long that we forget that we too were inexperienced at one time, and in many areas still are?  

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/10/2009 3:38:24 AM >

(in reply to kallisto)
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RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 3:38:50 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I don't think it is he youthful influx changing the face of the D/s path so much as technology, and the availability of information on the subject.


good point. Technology makes information greatly accesable.
I think youth and new technolgy are kinda linked...looking at this topic. It is mostly the youth that uses new technology

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 8:14:13 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

RM1,
but in my opinion the really young folks simply do not know what they seek and thus are time wasters for those that will consider that age group.


Wow...and to think I thought more experience folks actually liked taking a new person under their wing and showing them things for the first time, opening up their eyes to this world, having huge influence over the way that young person views him/herself, kink, and life in general. What's all that talk of mentorship if all a new/young person is is a time waster? Your generation can't have it both ways yet the over-arching narrative is changed depending on how it suits them at the moment. No wonder young people have to resort to learning from other equally young and inexperienced people who often teach them a load of crap and not to mention, unsafe stuff.

There are plenty of fakes and times wasters of any age out there but if you weed through all that you might just find a person who respects you and wants to learn from you

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 9:28:11 AM   
parakeet89


Posts: 94
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Also someone later who was talking about how they may just be trying it out. Sorry but so what? that happens with pretty much everything, there is no rule that you should enjoy everything you try and there is no rule that makes you stick with something. That doesnt change no matter whether we are talking about sexual oriantation or a chess club.


I don't know if that was directed towards my message or not, sorry if it wasn't... but trust me I didn't say it was a bad thing! I'm 19, I'm not hating on the "young pool" since I'm IN it. I was just considering one possible explanation for why it looks like there are so many of us. And honestly, everybody was trying it out at one point -- it's just easier to do so now, so now there's more people taking advantage of that. Of course it's a good thing that so many people are willing to try things like this now -- as another poster said, that means it's becoming less taboo.

I guess I should also add that I don't see how our generation is much different from the older generation when they were our age. We just have the advantage of the internet and overall easier communication. Most people I've talked to have said that they became interested in this lifestyle when they were in their teens, not 30s.


< Message edited by parakeet89 -- 1/10/2009 9:56:41 AM >

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 10:43:18 AM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		*FR*
To us in our 40's or older, there will always be concern about whether the 'young folk' will be wise enough to learn things properly and always the answer is a resounding "NO!"  Oh, most assuredly, some of the brighter ones will think critically about what they discover, ask the right questions and avoid a lot of pitfalls, but overall, they are much like we were at that age and waiting for the wisdom that can only come with experience.  Just as many of us did, they will be making huge mistakes and paying the price for them, and hopefully coming out wiser on the other side, if they survive.  That is how it has always been. 

However, I learned long ago that you cannot fight what fate has in store.  The universe has it's own inertia and you can rail at it impotently or you can adapt.  I choose to adapt.  I see where the future of wiitwd is going and I am already there, trying to learn the new tools and technologies using the experience I have gained over the years to temper my approach and rather than get carried away by it all, I intend to master it and to be among those who have an active hand in shaping the future of what we call 'the lifestyle'. I am not going to dig in my heels to stop a thing which I already know I am powerless to prevent.  Oh yes, the barbarians are at the gates.  Go barbarians!

Yes, there will be big changes.  Yes, some things will be lost.  No, some people will not like the new things that replace what was lost, but anyone who has really studied history knows that simply not likeing it will not make it go away.  The only constant is change.

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 1/10/2009 10:44:10 AM >

_____________________________


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(in reply to parakeet89)
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RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 2:26:18 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		The world moves on but does not always move forward.  Concern over what the younger generation may do, whether improve or muck up the system has been pondered for countless eons.  Young adults will bring change to all aspects of life, including D/s and like any other 'progress' there will be some good some bad and always some people who will yearn for "the good old days".   And were the good old days really that good?

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(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 4:08:42 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Another thing to ponder if you slightly aware of the evolution of our divergent way of life. When I first came onto the path via a busted marriage,the vast majority of folks were in situations like mine or in a age group of early 30's. Thus with abit of life behind them they had a better idea of what they sought.
Those facts lead to a loose understaning of the "dance" as folks roamed looking for their potential match. Over the past two years however I am aware that there is a huge infusion of folks in their early 20's and a good percentage of those in their teens. I have noted this on Bondage.com as well as here; not so much on ALT.
So my thoughts are focused on whether the influx of much younger folks will have any long term effect on the path as most of us know it to be.
Any thoughts?

CP


how much solidarity is there in the community (or whatever you want to call it) now? it seems to me as if it's just a large group of individuals with different attractions who happen to post on the same site or eat at the same restaurant every month. I'd imagine it would be next to impossible to actually mark where the community ends or begins. this group is as uniform as groups like jazz music fans or people who like cruises.  I don't know if throwing in a lot of 20 year olds will make the whole thing any more or less amorphous. the only real difference you'll see is more whining from people in their early 20's (who have been in the lifestyle for 5+ years) who 'aren't taken seriously because of their age.'


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 4:27:47 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

So my thoughts are focused on whether the influx of much younger folks will have any long term effect on the path as most of us know it to be.
Any thoughts?

CP
 I certainly hope so! Fresh meat, new blood, original ideas, technological advances, youth, enthusiam, spirit. So maybe they'll stumble a few times.. hell, someone who is 50, 60 or 70 stumbles, too.. so what?  Rock on youth! Glad yer here and can't wait to see what ya'll bring to the table.


BitaT,

i guess i can put your comments on the plus side! It is true that the younger fems cominginto the path have a few year of perfecting the art of giving head.

CP

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 4:33:52 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Well noot so much as a real issue as what impact the really young ones have on the path for all users. It does not effect me in any shape or form as my filter is a min age of 35; but in my opinion the really young folks simply do not know what they seek and thus are time wasters for those that will consider that age group. Worse yet, to act like they want it ,what ever it is, and then hollar abuse and the "D" has his ass in the slammer. I could go on but that might be a couple to consider.

CP


colouredin,

Hmmmmm seems your ire is up. for myself, i have not met any teenies within the path, plenty on the vanilla side. I think it is fair to say that the maturity that they have on the vanilla side of their life is what they would bring onto the path. No thanks! Yes there are exceptions but we address generalities here.

CP

See this to me will be a product of not just young people but indeed anyone new to all this. I do wonder how many so called teeny boppers you have actually met? They dont suddenlly become deers in headlights simply because they decide to try this path out. Also there are time wasters no matter what age group you have met, in fact i find that younger people are far more likely to be out and about and available to meet them.

Also someone later who was talking about how they may just be trying it out. Sorry but so what? that happens with pretty much everything, there is no rule that you should enjoy everything you try and there is no rule that makes you stick with something. That doesnt change no matter whether we are talking about sexual oriantation or a chess club.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 4:39:25 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

RM1,
but in my opinion the really young folks simply do not know what they seek and thus are time wasters for those that will consider that age group.


Wow...and to think I thought more experience folks actually liked taking a new person under their wing and showing them things for the first time, opening up their eyes to this world, having huge influence over the way that young person views him/herself, kink, and life in general. What's all that talk of mentorship if all a new/young person is is a time waster? Your generation can't have it both ways yet the over-arching narrative is changed depending on how it suits them at the moment. No wonder young people have to resort to learning from other equally young and inexperienced people who often teach them a load of crap and not to mention, unsafe stuff.

There are plenty of fakes and times wasters of any age out there but if you weed through all that you might just find a person who respects you and wants to learn from you


DS,

My comments are targeted toward relationships, not mentoring. yes I have guided a few newcomers that had the wisdom to seek help on this path, but very few do so; and I think that enforces my point, they come in and think they know it all and thus attempt to bluff their way thru.  When they are left by the roadside it will always be the fault of the path or the "D"

CP

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 4:44:13 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

The world moves on but does not always move forward.  Concern over what the younger generation may do, whether improve or muck up the system has been pondered for countless eons.  Young adults will bring change to all aspects of life, including D/s and like any other 'progress' there will be some good some bad and always some people who will yearn for "the good old days".   And were the good old days really that good?


eyes,

thanks for your thoughts! and hell yes the good old days were that good! In my most humble opionion that is.

CP

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 5:07:46 PM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline 		There is a scene in the show Babylon 5 (this is going to get geeky, be warned!) where one of the older characters is lying in bed after making passionate love to a much younger woman. He turns to her and says "And what are you getting? A washed up old republican dreaming of better days?"

She smiles and replies - "Londo, these are my better days."

It is an accurate response for us younger people. We are, for the most part, happy about the state of BDSM that we are walking into.

And the older folks really don't bother my husband and I - granted, we're no spring chickens ourselves (27 and 29) but we've set up a couple of playdates with folks well into their 50's. There's much to be experienced on both sides.

These are our better days, and for that, I'm happy to be here.


_____________________________

"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/10/2009 5:36:32 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		I think you can take the lifestyle out of the question...Every generation has their own mores and you can be assured they will be purposely different then the generation they derived from.

The mores of the majority will change the lifestyle from the lifestyle the older generation knew.

It may become more conservative or liberal…It may become more or less tolerant of groups such as gays.

But it will change and continue to change with time.

Butch

(in reply to nafakcha)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/11/2009 6:37:34 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: T1981

There is a scene in the show Babylon 5 (this is going to get geeky, be warned!) where one of the older characters is lying in bed after making passionate love to a much younger woman. He turns to her and says "And what are you getting? A washed up old republican dreaming of better days?"

She smiles and replies - "Londo, these are my better days."

It is an accurate response for us younger people. We are, for the most part, happy about the state of BDSM that we are walking into.

And the older folks really don't bother my husband and I - granted, we're no spring chickens ourselves (27 and 29) but we've set up a couple of playdates with folks well into their 50's. There's much to be experienced on both sides.

These are our better days, and for that, I'm happy to be here.



T,

well your both at an age level that you can appreciate both side of the picture. I do not attempt to create a chasim here between the age groups on the path. Yes it will evolve beyound what it is not and that is a naturally occuring thing. lol, in ten years I will not focus any attention on it.

CP

(in reply to T1981)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/11/2009 10:48:56 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		My partner and i had a relevant discussion yesterday about this. We have reached the point where my daughter and her friends who hang out here are all over 18. Suddenly the "need to be the parent" when it comes to sexuality has shifted to more wanting to be a resource of information without judgement. The crowd that hangs out here are the more theater/music/arts types, which i have found often to be a bit more open to experimentation. They are also quite touchy feely and tend to cuddle alot, with male/female/sex not even a part of the equation.

My main goal with her and my other scouts when they were younger was to foster the idea that sex was not a bad thing, but that safety was paramount. When they were in middle school and Oprah did a thing on blow jobs being the new french kissing for that age, we discussed it that night at scouts. Diseases and discussion of emotional issues were talked about. Questions were able to be asked. And throughout the intervening years i have often acted as a resource for these young adults as they explored everything from straight sex to their sexuality in general. I don't push my ideas on them, but i think they keep getting closer and closer to crossing.

The other thing that i find totally interesting is that we are getting to the point where the oldest of us were a part of the sexual revolution of the 60's and there are less and less people who's ideas are locked into that male/female only couple bonded for life. There are so many permutations of gender identification, sexuality and desires. There is much more room to explore and ways to find out about what is out there. I am excited for my daughter and her generation. If anything i am having trouble holding back from sharing more with them. I so want them each to find whatever their niche is in the world, not only as adults, but as sexual beings.

I think it is an exciting time.

_____________________________

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(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/11/2009 3:00:49 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

My partner and i had a relevant discussion yesterday about this. We have reached the point where my daughter and her friends who hang out here are all over 18. Suddenly the "need to be the parent" when it comes to sexuality has shifted to more wanting to be a resource of information without judgement. The crowd that hangs out here are the more theater/music/arts types, which i have found often to be a bit more open to experimentation. They are also quite touchy feely and tend to cuddle alot, with male/female/sex not even a part of the equation.

My main goal with her and my other scouts when they were younger was to foster the idea that sex was not a bad thing, but that safety was paramount. When they were in middle school and Oprah did a thing on blow jobs being the new french kissing for that age, we discussed it that night at scouts. Diseases and discussion of emotional issues were talked about. Questions were able to be asked. And throughout the intervening years i have often acted as a resource for these young adults as they explored everything from straight sex to their sexuality in general. I don't push my ideas on them, but i think they keep getting closer and closer to crossing.

The other thing that i find totally interesting is that we are getting to the point where the oldest of us were a part of the sexual revolution of the 60's and there are less and less people who's ideas are locked into that male/female only couple bonded for life. There are so many permutations of gender identification, sexuality and desires. There is much more room to explore and ways to find out about what is out there. I am excited for my daughter and her generation. If anything i am having trouble holding back from sharing more with them. I so want them each to find whatever their niche is in the world, not only as adults, but as sexual beings.

I think it is an exciting time.


hereyes,

I believe that your mentoring activities have put you in a unique position to review it all.

CP

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The changing face of the D/s path - 1/11/2009 5:29:39 PM   
roughleather


Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		For young people, kink isn't a big deal. Kinky stuff has been easily available on DVD and online for years, so everybody knows all the details. It's just another sexual option.

It's kind of refreshing, after the overly politicized "BSDM community" and "support group" mentality we have in SF. The gay community went through this decades ago; now most gay people just settle down and live their lives, without it being a big deal. That's happening to kink.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 57
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