RE: "Policing ourselves"

RE: "Policing ourselves" (Full Version)

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Aneirin -> RE: "Policing ourselves" (1/9/2009 7:56:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: Aneirin The trouble with policing ourselves is open to interpretation, are there any set guidlines on how BDSM behaviour is to be conducted ? If so, by whom and of what qualification and does that qualification actually mean anything, people do what people do and therein lies the problem, what is consenting between two goes, despite rules. What people keep private is known to none. It is not to okay to rape people. It is not okay to give them injuries severe enough to hospitalize them. It is not okay to hold people hostage against their will. It is not okay to put people in positions where they can lose custody of their children. It is not okay to bilk people of money. It is not okay to have unprotected sex with a person when you KNOW you have an STD. All these things have been done by members of the Detroit BDSM community. They continue to go about their business. It's an "everybody knows" situation. I know that my town is not unusual. Then things done which are against the law, the law should have taken an interest. Other things done if the law does not know, if there is hurt in the situation and a person feels agrieved, but has asked for help, then by all means allow the authorities to do their thing. BDSM, is not an excuse to harm people beyond their consent, if no one in the situations you mentioned raised an eyebrow so much as to be concerned and seek help for those harmed but powerless to complain, then it proves self policing is an ideal but largely useless.

mistoferin -> RE: "Policing ourselves" (1/9/2009 7:56:55 PM)
I completely agree with those who speak of "self" policing...I think that speaks to character. What I am talking about here though is in a community. I don't mean to be rude to those who poo poo the idea of a community in any respect, but that view doesn't really apply to what I am asking. Whether or not you wish to believe that no such thing exists, I have been part of several different lifestyle groups (communities) for a good number of years...and some of those groups have had many of the same core members for 10 to 20 years. To me, that IS a community. What I am referring to here is when the dominants who are the leaders of such communities refer to "policing themselves", not as individuals but as a whole, I believe they are referring to taking the necessary steps to ensure that the members of the community abide by the rules of THAT community to ensure an enjoyable and safe experience for the group as a whole. What I am wondering though is if such a thing really comes into play often...and where those lines would be? Have any of you who have led groups ever had to have a conversation with someone who is crossing lines? Do you do it only if a serious infraction occurs?...or if someone is just being a poor example?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "Policing ourselves" (1/9/2009 8:07:41 PM)
I can't ditto Padriag enough :)

kdsub -> RE: "Policing ourselves" (1/9/2009 8:24:05 PM)
I think Tos and the moderators do the policing here...I know this from personal experience...lol But in my local area there is a definite community made up of different clubs that are open to the community in general. They have monthly events at a local American Legion hall. This event is open to whomever would like to attend. BUT they have self policing rules about what can be done and where. If they did not do this and let someone go wild the police would close them down. Believe me if you do something wrong they are on you in a second and show you the door.... works real well. Butch

Aneirin -> RE: "Policing ourselves" (1/9/2009 8:37:16 PM)
Self policing works on a public level, that is the norm for munches I attend, public places where we keep a low profile, but even then the venue we use knows very well what we are and what we may do. The usual rules, no collars, kinky clothing etc, and if you must talk kink, don't broadcast it to all and sundry. But on a private level, policing , does it work, can it be done, well, as IB said, it all comes down to personal standards, but as to personal standards, with each person they are a different thing.

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