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undergroundsea -> RE: Pro-dommes (1/12/2009 9:12:45 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ALAstella
Just for a bit of perspective, the situation you describe in your OP is certainly no worse than that of many women on this site who also build up hopes after e-mails, IM chats and phone calls only to find all that the guy wants is a quick shag and that she means nothing more to him than sex.
To the extent you say that the OP's complaint is without basis because of the reason you give, I disagree. Saying that others also face difficulty does not change that one faces a difficulty. Surely you agree that if a domme complained about being led for selfish thrills, it would be inappropriate to marginalize her complaint by saying that men also get led on for money. In my opinion the same principle applies here.
quote:
But it's not just the time and effort spent in the e-mails, the IM chats and the phone calls, there's also the additional expense of stuff such as stockings, clothing, cosmetics, because a lot of guys expect a domme to look the part too.
I think buying clothes is a choice. I buy fetish attire because I want to wear it. I expect a vast majority of women do so because they want to wear it, and want to achieve a look or feeling. I don't subscribe to the idea that a domme is compelled to buy clothes to appease subs.
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Many expect to have the scene at her place, so she's got to have the equipment, and that too is an expense, not to mention the cleaning up afterwards.. and for what? To most guys the end of the scene comes when they've shot their wad and like it or not there's an awful lot of women out there who after the scene is over and all the stuff is cleaned up, the make up comes off together with the clothing go to sleep in a cold, empty bed.
You are making it sound like a domme is a genie; a sub wishes and she must provide. He wishes for clothes. She must go buy stocking. He wishes for equipment, she must go set up a dungeon. Each my experience and my intuition do not subscribe to this idea.
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I'm sorry, but I for one am not prepared to condemn these women for trying to get a little financial compensation for their time and effort spent with self-centred male submissives who can only think of their dick and what they are into.
This is not to say that I agree with the underhand way of trying to exploit a genuine male submissive (which I am assuming the OP is) but I can clearly see both sides here and I can understand quite clearly why some women do seek 'tributes'.
To the extent you suggest that tribute is a necessity, I disagree. Tribute is a choice and in my opinion it stems from the convenience of receiving money, and that demand allows it.
Cheers,
Sea
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