lifestyle or sexuality?

lifestyle or sexuality? (Full Version)

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immoral -> lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 8:50:13 PM)
tonight i have found myself being asked that question again. "how long have you been into the lifestyle?".and i wondered...if many people consider this a lifestyle choice, of if many just see this as part of their make upand/or sexuality..( badly worded question i know but im sure you get the general idea)

graceadieu -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 8:59:30 PM)
I've changed my opinion on this over the course the past year. I used to just want to give up control in the bedroom.... but now I want power exchange as part of my day-to-day life.

immoral -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:13:21 PM)
so maybe its not an iether and or reply..in your case... or maybe we have another what came first the chicken or the egg question. i think what i was (badly) trying to get at was....as i grew up i found when fantasising sexually (even though i didnt know it had a name ) my thoughts were very BDSMesque orientated. is it a matter of lifestyle choice?or pre determined.

jen182 -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:13:29 PM)
i live it as a lifestyle, not just in the bedroom

immoral -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:17:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jen182 i live it as a lifestyle, not just in the bedroom ah i see-so you see the question of lifestyle to mean...behaviour across the board instead of how long have you been in the lifestyle? as cool wording... actually-maybe im misunderstanding the original wording of the question... .....and now you see why i seldom post.....i now have more questions than i did to begin with.[:D]

ALAstella -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:23:02 PM)
How about 'how long have you been into WIITWD?' What is WIITWD for you? This isn't the Catholic Church... THE LIFESTYLE is a myth. Everybody has 'a' lifestyle, not 'the' lifestyle. See my point?

immoral -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:34:47 PM)
well yes i do indeed...after all one personslifestyle is another persons sexuality....and i know im a grumpy old woman.but it seemslike lifestyle worded that way is like...how long have you been a member of the latest trend?.... and i really dont feel that way about it and the ambiguousWIITWD covers such a wide spectrum a little more comfortably.... do you feel that some people do engage in WIITWD to be trendy?

AlexandraLynch -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:42:35 PM)
WIITWD for me is merely making overt and ritualized issues that have been in my life since childhood. I am going to be playing out power and control games in my life no matter what is going on. I prefer to do it in an overt and formal matter with other adults than, say, to impose it upon my children, or harm a dog by treating it like a human not a dog. In some ways it's just the sensible thing to do.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:45:02 PM)
Who I am is my orientation. Choosing to go to parties, play with toys, go to munches, post online- those are the priorities of time and energy I choose as my lifestyle.

BKSir -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:49:55 PM)
Both, I should think. For some, it's a kink, a fetish, something fun that is there for sexual amusement. Nothing more. For others, it's a necessity, an emotional and psychological need, to dominate and control/be dominated and controlled. Just as there are control freaks, that don't know what to do if they're not at the forefront of whatever, there is the opposite end of the spectrum. People that inherrantly NEED to be controlled. For them, it's part of who they are, going even past their sexuality. It's not just something they play in the bedroom/dungeon/den/etc... So yes, both, and more, and less, and everywhere in between, depending on the person.

immoral -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:51:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Who I am is my orientation. Choosing to go to parties, play with toys, go to munches, post online- those are the priorities of time and energy I choose as my lifestyle. so lifestyle as what you do.not who you are.......not that one isnt an extension of the other here and there..as per usual the devil is in the linguistic detail.....thank you.

peppermint -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 9:56:39 PM)
Since our sex life is basically rather vanilla I'd have to give the nod to lifestyle choice.

immoral -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 10:14:27 PM)
......and no two people have the same reply.....hmm. thank you for the input

agirl -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 11:17:14 PM)
Choosing to be owned is a relationship-style, for me. I've never considered myself part of, or into, any lifestyle other than my own. I don't know what constitutes making someone into The Lifestyle either........other than their consideration that they are. If I'm asked * How long have you been into the lifestyle* I usually ask what they mean, specifically. It usually means * How long have you done stuff that is bdsm/Ds related with the knowledge that it IS bdsm/Ds related*. agirl

littlewonder -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/11/2009 11:17:38 PM)
This is not just my sexuality, it's not my make-up and it's not my lifestyle. It's simply how I choose to live my life with a dominant personality partner..he leads, I follow.

chamberqueen -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/12/2009 8:48:10 AM)
immoral, you'll find varied answers to this because "lifestyle" has different definitions to different people. I was introduced to BDSM about five years ago. I chose to have a relationship at that time and so much of my life revolved around that. The relationship ended and I walked away from BDSM for awhile. I got involved in it again later because of a vanilla relationship where I found out that the man wanted to be my slave. From that point on I've never looked back but considered BDSM to be a way of life that makes me feel the most fulfilled. It was never so much about sex to me but about deep trust and open communication and the willingness of one person to turn themselves over to another who truly cared about mutual fulfillment. That doesn't make me any more grand than the person who sees BDSM as sexy, kinky, fun and for sessions only. There is a very broad spectrum of how people choose to incorporate BDSM into their lives. I am very comfortable considering myself to be living an alternative lifestyle. That's the definition that I use for myself but know that others have the right to define it however they want.

happypervert -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/12/2009 9:05:46 AM)
I think it is a lifestyle for those who chose to go to a kink club, convention, or other gathering of kinksters over other activities to occupy their time. I suppose I'm not in the lifestyle because I'm indifferent to that stuff and I'd rather ride my bike or go to a hockey game or all sorts of other things. However, I'm not convinced the lifestylers are any kinkier behind closed doors than I am -- they just have fewer interests outside the house than I do.

beargonewild -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/12/2009 9:09:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: immoral tonight i have found myself being asked that question again. "how long have you been into the lifestyle?".and i wondered...if many people consider this a lifestyle choice, of if many just see this as part of their make upand/or sexuality..( badly worded question i know but im sure you get the general idea) The more I learn and understand how WIITWD fits into how I love life, I see that WIITWD is in all aspects. It has become both part of my makeup and part of my sexuality.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/12/2009 9:14:20 AM)
It would depend on what the person asking meant by the lifestyle. How long have I been dominant? All my life. How long have I been in a relationship? a year and a half, almost. The lifestyle I have with Fox has been that whole time. I have been active in the BDSM community on and off for a long while. But as for the lifestyle, the only time I use that is like any other title, to make it understood that I am in an "alternative" relationship. DV

Mercnbeth -> RE: lifestyle or sexuality? (1/12/2009 9:16:29 AM)
it isn't either/or for this slave...it is both.

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