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Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a collar?


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Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a collar? - 1/11/2009 11:57:02 PM   
imhereforU


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		Hello to all that are here.  Or will be here - or maybe were here.  I have been in Collarme for a while (under a couple other names but now only in with two.  I tried being a sub for a while - because i wanted to learn.  It was sad how many automatically think that means you're a slave - so not me.  Anyway, I am a switch with a serious leaning towards the Domme side of things.  And I have a question as stated above.  I have been told smatterings about the Collar by friends - one said it is as close to being married as one can get, means just as much, just nothing signed or on paper.  So, can you - other Switches, please tell me - what does getting a Collar mean?  Why do people want one so badly (sometimes) - this is confusing me.                       I eagerly await your input.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/12/2009 12:32:28 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Go up to the right hand corner and click on Search. Type in collar. 
You will find this topic has been discussed many times.



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(in reply to imhereforU)
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RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/12/2009 5:21:23 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		A collar means different things to different people. 
Were I to wear one or proffer one, I would prefer it be rather equivalent to a wedding band (accompanying one, in fact). 
There are other (I nearly said lesser uses but that would only be my self-interpretation for a collar, not that I think anyone who does not view one as I stated above has a lesser use) purposes of a collar:
**It can show commitments particular to the relationship (Which may or may not be outlined in a contract)
**It can denote ownership/servitude
**It can be used in play only
**It can be a fashion accessory
That list is, by no means, exhaustive, but those are a few options. 
  Davan

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-Robert A Heinlein

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-Me

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170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MsLadySue)
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RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/12/2009 5:31:33 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		The collar itself means nothing. It is leather, or cloth, or steel. But it is a trinket. Like a ring, or a necklace has no connotation unless the giver and the receiver choose to give it one. My Fox is my slave and his collar means a lot to him because he is possessed and owned and that is our mark of ownership. A couple who are friends of ours are male dom, femsub and to him collars are meaningless. To her they are not and she wants it to mean something more to him. However, the symbolism only works if both are in agreement on it. If I give a friend a necklace, and she says its a collar, its still not meaningful since i didnt intend to possess her with it.

hope that helps
DV


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10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

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Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/14/2009 12:10:03 AM   
imhereforU


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for this information - makes more sense that what i was being told.  But here is another one - again - based on what i've been told.  Is it possible for both members of a 'switch-couple' to collar the other - or is that just a given?         k

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/14/2009 6:11:06 PM   
RomanusIII


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/20/2008
Status: offline 		Why not?  Don't let the one-way freaks grind you down.  If it works for you ....... it works.

(in reply to imhereforU)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/22/2009 6:57:25 AM   
ApathyRomance


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		good to put a leash on . . . 

(in reply to RomanusIII)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 1/22/2009 7:21:14 AM   
amberyone


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
From: Cornwall, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RomanusIII

Why not?  Don't let the one-way freaks grind you down.  If it works for you ....... it works.


Well said, just like any relationship, BDSM or otherwise, if you are happy doing it, then do it... Screw what everyone else says....


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ambery`one

(in reply to RomanusIII)
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RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 2/12/2009 3:07:39 AM   
guarddawg


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		In my House, and for me personally, the collar is really nothing more than a physical representation of the commitment between myself and my partner. I have found though that it does act kind of as a physical reminder of that relationship and bond. On several occasions when I have been the bottom especially in a pretty ruff scene, I have found myself reaching up and holding onto that collar to help focus and assure myself that all is good during those times where Empress could not be there with me for whatever reason.
It had also acted as a reminder of my commitment to my word to her when I was having difficulty with stopping smoking; that really helped since we only saw each other 2 days of the week and the rest of the time I spent with my spouse- who really helped me want to smoke and drink.

(in reply to amberyone)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 2/21/2009 2:43:47 AM   
VanessaChaland


Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		Got to hang the rabies tags from something right? :)

(in reply to guarddawg)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 3/24/2009 2:06:09 PM   
MissJanice2


Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline 		A collar is the same as a set of rings in a relationship that leads to marriage.  For example there is the training collar which is like a friendship ring.  Thing there is the Collar of Consideration which is like an engagement ring.  Then there is the Collar itself which is like a wedding ring.
The only difference is that you can walk away from a collar, but you have to share equity in a marriage.
 
Best Wishes,
 
MJ

(in reply to imhereforU)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 4/1/2009 5:09:03 PM   
PAboipup


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/23/2009
Status: offline 		I actually have two collars. One for dress when W/we go to a leather event, which has no D or O rings. It's actually a chain with a padlock locking the two ends. Daddi wears the key to the padlock on her necklace. And another for O/our puppy play. That one is a real leather dog collar with a name plate riveted onto it with Daddi's name for me, "CuteOne."

-PAboipup

(in reply to MissJanice2)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 4/4/2009 4:38:25 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		Though I do understand what being collared means to some, but to me, it is a highly sexy piece of jewellery, suggestive and beautiful at the same time, especially those that have been wrought out of fine metals.

I used to, years back wear a torc, purely because I liked the metal around my neck, as I still do, I wear a silver snake chain all the time. The torc was made by me at some considerable cost, seven strands of twisted silver round wire, with two cast leaping salmon finials., the whole thing half inch thick and about five and a half inch diameter.

I am sort of off and on trying to work out a collar based upon the Broighter torc, to be made in silver. I may wear it myself and pass it on when I tire of it.

(For those Brits, the torc featured on the UK £1 coin, the Celtic cross coin)


< Message edited by Aneirin -- 4/4/2009 4:42:14 AM >

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to PAboipup)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 4/4/2009 8:42:00 AM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not a switch, but i have two very close friends who are. They've collared one another and i'm collared by Master. To me a collar is very much what others have told you, it's much like a wedding ring. It's to show that you are taken, that you are devoted to someone else. A collar isn't meant for everyone just as being married isn't for everyone, it's a personal thing. A collar can range from something as simple as a ring, a bracelet, a necklace to an actual steel or leather collar ect. Master and i had agreed when we first started talking that he would not offer a collar and i would not ask for one, neither one of us wanted to collar/be collared without some expectation of meeting in real life since we're so far apart. That changed over time and when he offered me his collar i was estatic because to me that meant that I am his slave forever, that even with the things he knew about me, my past and the issues he has to deal with that by offering his collar he's willing to take me and all that comes with me on. That he's willing to stay for the long haul. The collar to us at least means that we are commited, that if it gets hard we're going to work through it, that neither one is going to walk away at the drop of a hat (big issue for me). The last slave he had collared was his for five years, its not something he does or undoes lightly.

As for some wanting one badly, some of it is sub frenzy, they hear about a collar and want one because it's a symbol that they "belong" that they're serious about the lifestyle. I took what's called a collar of consideration with one Dom and thankfully it was just one of consideration because things didn't work out mutually, but i took it because we got along well but also because he was the first to ever offer to collar me and i was excited and didn't think it through.

I know a couple who are both great friends of mine, they are both switches. Their relationship is one where he is Dom 99% of the time because that is how their relationship works best but he has collared her, given her that gift of his ownership, likewise when he does submit to her he has a collar himself that he wears.  it's not often but it's enough to make her feel like he values it and her. it works for them, might not everyone but it can and does happen.

(in reply to imhereforU)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 4/4/2009 2:26:32 PM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Its whatever you choose to make of it in your relationship.

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Owned heart and soul, bound to MZ forever.

(in reply to kuriouswitch)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 4/6/2009 11:35:08 AM   
goddessdolly09


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/4/2009
Status: offline 		Definitely we offered each other a collar tho we identify as switches. Collars are hawt.

(in reply to guarddawg)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 4/15/2009 10:10:37 PM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ApathyRomance
good to put a leash on . . . 


Xactly.

All else is contextual
between leasher and leashee.

Could be mere cosmetics, for "shock value", ... or sommat else.

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Black Water Dragon

(in reply to ApathyRomance)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sorry to ask this - but what is the purpose of a co... - 5/28/2009 6:07:01 AM   
Puc


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline 		Im a switch in an LTR with a Domme. In our relationship Mistress has me collared - its been like that almost from the beginning. At the start the collar was bought for puppy play, but I grew more and more atached to it and Mistress allowed me to start wearing it all the time. It then started to become more than an item of puppy play, and became for me a physical reminder of my submission to my Mistress. Just a few days ago Mistress added a padlock to the collar - cementing her claim on me. This collar is now my collar of submission and we're going to get another for puppy play.

I am still not her 'collared sub' though. By 'collared sub' I mean the equivalent of a handfasting or wedding. If this was ever to happen there will a collar especially made and there would be a whole ritual involved. But I do definatly think that the collar means whatever you or your partner has agreed for it to mean. This (as I have just displayed) can change over time as your relationship progresses. However, if you think the meaning of the collar for you has changed, it is very important to discuss this with your partner.

(in reply to kiyari)
Profile   Post #: 18
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