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DavanKael -> RE: Physical attraction vs. mutual attraction (1/12/2009 8:24:14 PM)
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I don't have any interest in play sessions or other transitory activities, so I that aspect of interrelating is not relevant to me.
In terms of partners, I tend to have physical traits that I find most attractive. Have I deviated from these on occasion, sure. I think there's a continuum, though, beyond which it would be exceedingly unlikely to deviate. An example of one trait: I like tall men. Taller than average. I've only been in relationships with 1 male who was shorter than average and 1 who was of average height, all others I have been in relationships with are taller than average (Not that I have had a massive amount of relationships as I don't, though, as you can see, the numbers are quite small of shorter men). Sometimes, I think that traits that appeal to us are inherent or some sort of akashic imprint. Sometimes, I can see reasons for them. Sometimes, there appears to be a mix. Again, returning to my height example: I associate physical formadibility with ability to provide safety and protection, traits I value highly. I acknowledge that hindbrain association with males. Thus, men who are slight in appearance or are of a smaller stature would be at a disadvantage in my appraisal of them, and that is rather automatic far more than something thought-out.
Overall attractiveness, for me, resides much on the same continuum. I have preferences of how pleasing the amalgamation of a person's physical traits are along with individualized preferences and have rarely deviated from that perceived level of aesthetic, though individual traits may vary.
Have I come to find someone more attractive uppon getting to know them? Yes. Of course, most definitely. I think that as one becomes more dear to us, their physical traits do generally become more appealing.
I think, however, that discounting physical appearance entirely is not something that I, or most people, would easily do.
Davan
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