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RE: Master to master advice? - 1/6/2006 9:41:45 PM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		OK, I'm not as nice as most of the others, and I am no where as good with words...but here is my thoughts....first, and I may just be reading something into it that may not be there, but it seems like you are trying to be "too" nice, did she submit to you as her Dom or her Master, if you are her Master, be the Master...second, if she says nothing is wrong, let it go, if that's true, things will work out, if not, things will work out.

(in reply to Christov)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Master to master advice? - 1/6/2006 10:20:52 PM   
Delvin


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I may have missed something in translation but will offer what I have seen so far with the understanding that you are her Master vs. a more D/s dynamic.

First the financial stress you speak of sounds more like it is coming from you, since you are in charge of the homes resources. If you are stressed at all, she will be, that goes hand in hand with any emotion. If you are constantly upset or mad, she will feed off your emotions and remember, this is an intense dynamic so emotions get tested to their extreme at times. Padriag hit it right off with this and looking deeper into both you and her over this issue should be your first step.

Rituals - sometimes with day to day, if the lack of involvement of rituals you had in place taper off, this might relax the intensity some. If you wish to bring her more into the role of slave you want, perhaps daily rituals which remind her AND you of both of your commitment to this dynamic. Life has a brutal way of intruding on happiness within our own little universe and if we relax and let the normal every day chaotic life take hold, we sometimes find ourselves behind the eight-ball.

The profile comment has me a bit miffed here as I am reading it and re-reading it, it sounds like you are upset because she is not glorifying her relationship with you but instead simply says ya I’m taken or as you put it, "attached". Seems a bit cold and standoffish, though that might what she wanted to get her emails down. Ask her.

So many different levels here which really unless you divulge ALL your personal information out for public scrutiny, we can really only guess from your words what may be going on. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help if you yourself are feeling overwhelmed with the day to day, depression in this lifestyle is not unheard of and will crush any relationship. There is nothing wrong with sending her to one either.

Finally the before and after result; Before you both were not working, so sure, you had all day each day to deal with one another and for the most part, life didn't have to intrude as much, but once you made the move, she started working, you started working and life took on a more normal existence it seems is where the problems are starting. Again I would suggest bringing your dynamic to the forefront of your everyday life within reason and see if making this lifestyle the first priority then the normal every day second. Make her call you Master in public (again within reason of employment, school teachers so on), make her....Once you submit to her, as stated the erosion begins and you stand the chance of destroying what you have.

Best of luck Sir,

D

(in reply to SirDarkside357)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Master to master advice? - 1/6/2006 10:38:22 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Kind of feel funny asking this stuff but here goes.

My girl and I will have been together for a year next month.
She agreed to take my collar on the grounds that she was mine, accessable 24/7, usable as I saw fit with some rules(IE: no scat play), and I had control of everything in our personal lives.

This was fine for all of 3 months. Since then our day to day mundane relationship is fine but something in our master/slave portion seems off.
Now she doesnt protest about day to day stuff, or wht I want to do in our bedroom. But shes always seeming like she isnt into doing anything. I've tried new play, i've tried being more Dom, but there are times when Its more like having to beg for sex and play then her doing the .. yes master do me now.

Now on her side and what i get from her.. Nothing is wrong. It's just financial stresses. She says shes fine with me, fine with my domming and sexual abilities. She says that she is happy with me, and glad she is mine.
It's one of those things that just get ya and make you go whats up?
I mean in like my yahoo and tribenet profiles I talk about how proud I am of her, and that she is mine, and how much I love and care for her. But on her profiles its just attached.

She constantly says shes in love with me to me.

We have talked about the fact I sometimes feel she's not happy as a slave and is more sub.. but she says she is all mine in every way, and wants to be my slave.

But I honestly have never seen from her any sign that I see in others slaves.. No I am so devoted to him body and soul.. none of that.

Any ideas, suggestions or constructive comments are appreciated..


She's playing you. Either pony up and do what's needed or say goodbye (whether you end it or not, one of you will sooner or later).

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to Christov)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Master to master advice? - 1/6/2006 10:40:50 PM   
daredevil865


Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648

quote:

Kind of feel funny asking this stuff but here goes.

My girl and I will have been together for a year next month.
She agreed to take my collar on the grounds that she was mine, accessable 24/7, usable as I saw fit with some rules(IE: no scat play), and I had control of everything in our personal lives.

This was fine for all of 3 months. Since then our day to day mundane relationship is fine but something in our master/slave portion seems off.
Now she doesnt protest about day to day stuff, or wht I want to do in our bedroom. But shes always seeming like she isnt into doing anything. I've tried new play, i've tried being more Dom, but there are times when Its more like having to beg for sex and play then her doing the .. yes master do me now.

Now on her side and what i get from her.. Nothing is wrong. It's just financial stresses. She says shes fine with me, fine with my domming and sexual abilities. She says that she is happy with me, and glad she is mine.
It's one of those things that just get ya and make you go whats up?
I mean in like my yahoo and tribenet profiles I talk about how proud I am of her, and that she is mine, and how much I love and care for her. But on her profiles its just attached.

She constantly says shes in love with me to me.

We have talked about the fact I sometimes feel she's not happy as a slave and is more sub.. but she says she is all mine in every way, and wants to be my slave.

But I honestly have never seen from her any sign that I see in others slaves.. No I am so devoted to him body and soul.. none of that.

Any ideas, suggestions or constructive comments are appreciated..


She's playing you. Either pony up and do what's needed or say goodbye (whether you end it or not, one of you will sooner or later).

D (owner of j)



Wolfie

Finally someone said it

_____________________________



DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to Wolfie648)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Master to master advice? - 1/6/2006 11:08:49 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Finally someone said it


It's a habit that not many like me for :-)

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to daredevil865)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Master to master advice? - 1/6/2006 11:36:49 PM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline
Well your follow up changes my impression of the situation quite a bit. Still, as I said at first, you're the only one close enough to really know, so take everything I and everyone else here says with a grain of salt. My opinions, take em or leave em. That said:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Christov

I do know the difference in reality 24/7 and fantasy, as this is not my first relationship of this kind.
My girl Chooses to work as she has that right to do so. It actually makes her happier to be working than being at home all day. I have given her that option, she doesnt NEED to, she Chooses to.


You sound very confused. If she's your slave, she doesn't have a 'right' to work, nor does she choose to work. She works how and when you decide she should.

Of course a good master is going to be very sensitive and concerned about where she is at, and he's going to make his decisions with a mind to keep her happy, well-adjusted, etc. But he's still the one that makes the decisions.

When you get confused about that, it doesn't matter what words the two of you are mouthing, you're no longer her master and she's no longer your slave. And so reading this changes the situation as I see it drastically.

But I do think I had one thing right - she's challenging you, and how you deal with it is crucial to the future, if any, of your relationship.

quote:

Just there are long periods of time when nothing to do with our master slave dynamic is even acknowledged by anyone other than myself. If I'm ever referred to at all as anything its her boyfriend.

I liked the reward idea a lot.
Sometimes it feels like I'm the sub as I'm having to ask her what i can do for her to make things easier or better in our lives.
Like i said the first few months were magic..
its kinda like the whole "honeymoon is over" thing.



Exactly.

The romantic fantasy has worn off. And you're simply not mastering her.



(in reply to Christov)
Profile   Post #: 26
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