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Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 8:29:01 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		It seems to me intuitive to use reason in dealing with challenges, and passion manifest is a means to feel a respite from them; to sort of have a joy-yang to the distress-yin… However, intellectually it seems to me that reason should be the rudder in seeking dominance, and passion should guide efforts to deal with the challenges. Of course we ideally use both, but I'm asking in terms of one prevalently driving behavior more than the other. Are times of ordeal and pain the worst time to “seek?” Or should you (reasonably) open yourself to any potential good from another?
 
In times of struggle, do you feel more submissive, wish for more direction and discipline, do you feel more desire for subspace?

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 8:38:14 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For me it depends what I'm struggling with.  Take when my father died.  I needed everyone to get out of my way so I could handle things the way he would have wanted them done.

Yet, for smaller tasks I reach out for more direction from Doug. 

I really think it depends upon the person and the set of circumstances.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 8:43:38 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

It seems to me intuitive to use reason in dealing with challenges, and passion manifest is a means to feel a respite from them; to sort of have a joy-yang to the distress-yin… However, intellectually it seems to me that reason should be the rudder in seeking dominance, and passion should guide efforts to deal with the challenges. Of course we ideally use both, but I'm asking in terms of one prevalently driving behavior more than the other. Are times of ordeal and pain the worst time to “seek?” Or should you (reasonably) open yourself to any potential good from another?
 
In times of struggle, do you feel more submissive, wish for more direction and discipline, do you feel more desire for subspace?


Hey TEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Glad to see you back........missed you  (blush)

Ok, back to the question....hahahahaha
I'd have to say in my case the majority of the time I find my submissive behavior takes a back seat and the practical and independent part takes over and becomes the driving force. Mostly because I don't have that dominant partner to lean on and to hand that struggle over to him. Yes, quite often I do wish for that direction from another because I know that often I am unable to make correct and appropriate choices in my best interest because that is when my emotions have taken over and it's not a good thing to allow that to happen.....especially in my case. If I feel a greater desire for subspace I can't say for sure. What I can say is that is when my need and desire to have a dominant person in my life to take over when struggling to regain that sense of inner balance.


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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 9:05:53 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		I think passion drives us to relationships and reason makes us assess the relationship that passion brings us. I think both are important as they fill the gaps that the other creates. (then there is all the trouble of social pressure, emotional baggage, and unvoiced expectations *sigh*)

In times of great stress, either reason or passion can be subsumed by the pressure of the situation. If reason is curtailed then we all think with our sex organs and pay little or no attention to long term needs, and when reason rules we forget that instant gratification can and should happen and forget that passion is the foundation of a relationship.



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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 9:18:13 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It depends on whether you think you can still make good choices in those hard times when you are hungry, or whether you can reasonably handle the fall out of it goes bad.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 9:43:53 AM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		In times of stress, I really like to be "put in my place" or used as a sub more than normal...Master T is the opposite tho, so sometimes it is a little hard...he would rather be left alone and have no one look at him when he is stressed out...lol

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 12:23:18 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It depends on whether you think you can still make good choices in those hard times when you are hungry, or whether you can reasonably handle the fall out of it goes bad.


This is along the lines of what I was thinking.  I want/need to submit more when in hard times, but the decision making process is decidedly questionable during those times. 

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 3:33:03 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		When I"m stressed or struggling with my life I tend to take a step back and ask for some breathing room so that I can fix what needs to be fixed. If I'm single then I tend to not seek until I fix the problem but still leave myself open to possibilities but I tend to be much much more careful of what I am walking into. My senses and perceptions become heightened. I don't become more submissive. I just tend to focus on what I need to take care of in my life.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 3:36:08 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...In times of struggle, do you feel more submissive...


no.
but then, this slave isn't of the camp that "feels" submission...so circumstances (e.g. struggle/stress) do not lend to quantifying submission in terms of "more" or "less", for this slave.
 
quote:

...wish for more direction and discipline...

no.
this slave's current level of received direction and discipline is sufficient to weather any stress/struggles she has encountered so far, so it hasn't been something that she wished for.
 
quote:

...do you feel more desire for subspace...


no.
this slave doesn't have a desire for subspace...it's nice/fun and all that, but not something this slave craves or has a want/need for as a way of dealing with stress/struggles.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/13/2009 4:09:32 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		There where a couple times when i reached out to be more submissive during times of crises, but Sir usually seen them as times that I was trying to escape the present time stresses. In each of those times, yes he was correct.


I actually feel better when I deal with my own stress areas. Usually my mind focuses on his departing comment to me everytime he leaves; Make me proud!  With those words in my mind, i find the passion to do just that.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/14/2009 6:06:44 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

I'd have to say in my case the majority of the time I find my submissive behavior takes a back seat and the practical and independent part takes over and becomes the driving force.


In most cases this would be me as well.
 
Probably because in my prior relationship he was bipolar and i often needed to handle his affairs or him personally when he was having a bad day/time period.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/14/2009 7:10:37 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		When my father died, my former owner said if I needed some space to grieve and sort out my feelings he would give it to me.  It was a nice gesture but the last thing I wanted was to feel like something else in my life was missing.  There were times when I was under stress when he would step away, either because he had decided I needed alone time or because he didn't want to deal with it.  That was always difficult for me, since he was my rock.  But it did force me to recognize and understand my own ability to cope and handle things.

I did not feel more submissive or more needy during stress. But it did perpetuate the stress when my avenue for expressing my submission was closed.


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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/14/2009 7:13:03 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I think it depends on what kind of struggle.  For instance, if I am given a task I would really rather not do and am going through an inner struggle then yes, I feel more submissive.  I inevitably go through with the task no matter how much I would prefer not to.

Over time I have found that I let my Master know about my vanilla struggles.  Sometimes he has advice, sometimes he volunteers to help.  I never feel alone with my struggles any more.  Yes, I know that I am ultimately in charge of taking care of them and don't simply hand them over to him, but I have found that we have drawn closer as I am more willing to open up to him about them.  Ultimately, the answer for me is yes - I feel more submissive because I know that he is watching over me.  It's a great feeling.


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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/14/2009 2:24:16 PM   
swan70


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline 		when in times of depression or anxiety--i NEED to be used by my Master and taken to subspace.  Works out the knots in my soul.  the act of service allows my brain to go numb for a while and just DO.  (even if the service is His laundry!) 

i make my best decisions a few days after a HARD enough session that i reached subspace.  Right after--i'm dropping and too emotional.  But after sub drop is over--i'm clear headed and feel an inner peace.  Makes it very easy to tell when a decision isn't a good fit for me cuz the inner peace gets disturbed.

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/14/2009 7:29:02 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Very interesting and intriguing topic and thread. Thanks for the OP, tee, and, welcome back. You've been missed. 

Also, thanks to all the posters, your various experiences and points of view have given me much to consider. 

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RE: Reason and Passion - 1/15/2009 3:44:28 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

In times of struggle, do you feel more submissive, wish for more direction and discipline, do you feel more desire for subspace?



No, I don't. I don't 'feel' submissive at the best of times...it's something I do.

I might desire a touch of subspace in the same way I might desire getting drunk, a massage or to watch a daft film.............as a bit of escapism.

In times of struggle, I get advice, encouragement and support which is generally what I need.

agirl



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