|
TranceTara -> RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries (1/23/2009 11:08:43 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze
quote:
ORIGINAL: TranceTara
As for humiliation, I am not a big fan of it for me. In the past, as a novice, I got involved with a woman who claimed to be a Mistress. She was another's slave and wanted to try her hand at being a Mistress, with the permission of her own Mistress. After 6 months [&:]of verbal abuse [sm=alarm.gif] and physical abuse I sat down with her and told her I could take no more. She then verbally abused me and I know I had made the right decision. She just wanted someone to take her frustrations out on.[sm=m23.gif] She was unhappy with her Mistress so I got the anger she could not release on her Mistress. But, I had no desire to humiliate her. I find those who need to belittle and humiliate others to such an extent, when it is not agreed upon, must be in a lot of pain themselves. I try to find ways to communicate with them. If that doesn't work, I walk away. quote:
original:GoddezzT`
Hello tara, you've gotto understand that there is a Thick line between Humiliation and abuse. I love humiliation, My subs know they are well loved and cared for, only then I can bring in the humiliation, as a mindfuck, but when their selfasteem isn't enough, they can feel it as being hurt, and abused.
A Mistress never takes out their anger nor frustration out on thier sub, those arent worthy called a Mistress, that's simply abuse your position. When you noticed that, you should've walked out right away, and not even sit down, with such a people BAH
[sm=afraid.gif]
I do hope you understand Humiliation a little bit better, and don't let you be treated badly.
I wish you enough,
B safe
GoddezzT`.
Hi GoddessT,
I understand what you are saying. I think it then becomes a matter of semantics. What you would call humiliation I would now call "pushing my limits" in some areas. Many times miscommunication happens because we have our own perceptions of what a word means. I know I have certain visceral responses to the word "humiliation" because that is what this woman termed it. That does not mean I am against what you call "humiliation". I might give it a different label.
I am reminded of something Joseph Campbell talked about in Mythos. He was listening to Dr. Martin Buber speak and Dr. Buber kept using the word God. Now, Joseph Campbell spent his life reseraching myths and comparative religion. So, he raised his hand and politely asked Dr. Buber what he meant by God. He talked about those in India and how they viewed themselves. Dr. Buber became adamant and said something like, "You dare to compare!" As Joseph Campbell told this story he had to give a little laugh for he told the audience his job was to compare religion. He just wanted to know in what text the word God was being used.
In no way was I trying to say your form of humiliation was wrong. You come across as a woman of great integrity and one who would have discussed such things with her slaves/submissives at great length. You would know of limits and also that in dealing with a human being, some days one's limits can be quite vast, and others, one's limits may be pushed easily. In the latter I'm sure you would not keep pushing, but rather be there with aftercare.
It all comes down to good communication and understanding where each party is coming from. We all have our own little processors in our heads. Any Mistress/Master/Domme/Dom worth anything knows this and it is their job to understand how their slave/submissive(s) process things. And, it is a slave/submissive's job to be honest in their communication and understand their Mistress. And that comes with time, patience, compassion, and a big sense of humour. If we cannot laugh at ourselves then life will be miserable.
Thank you,
TranceTara
edited to correct the spelling of no to know. Man, how simple spelling can evade me when thinking of broad topics. [sm=doh.gif]
|
|
|
|
