quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
Yes, I do know how to converse with my dom, but let’s look at it, some dom and mistress are a pain in the ass and needs to be put in their place from time to time. My dom stepped out of his place with me and I just put him back into his place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: TranceTara

As for humiliation, I am not a big fan of it for me. In the past, as a novice, I got involved with a woman who claimed to be a Mistress. She was another's slave and wanted to try her hand at being a Mistress, with the permission of her own Mistress. After 6 months of verbal abuse and physical abuse I sat down with her and told her I could take no more. She then verbally abused me and I know I had made the right decision. She just wanted someone to take her frustrations out on. She was unhappy with her Mistress so I got the anger she could not release on her Mistress. But, I had no desire to humiliate her. I find those who need to belittle and humiliate others to such an extent, when it is not agreed upon, must be in a lot of pain themselves. I try to find ways to communicate with them. If that doesn't work, I walk away.

quote:

original:GoddezzT`

Hello tara, you've gotto understand that there is a Thick line between Humiliation and abuse. I love humiliation, My subs know they are well loved and cared for, only then I can bring in the humiliation, as a mindfuck, but when their selfasteem isn't enough, they can feel it as being hurt, and abused.

A Mistress never takes out their anger nor frustration out on thier sub, those arent worthy called a Mistress, that's simply abuse your position. When you noticed that, you should've walked out right away, and not even sit down, with such a people BAH

I  do hope you understand Humiliation a little bit better, and don't let you be treated badly.
I wish you enough,
B safe

GoddezzT`.

Hi GoddessT,

I understand what you are saying. I think it then becomes a matter of semantics. What you would call humiliation I would now call "pushing my limits" in some areas. Many times miscommunication happens because we have our own perceptions of what a word means. I know I have certain visceral responses to the word "humiliation" because that is what this woman termed it. That does not mean I am against what you call "humiliation". I might give it a different label.

I am reminded of something Joseph Campbell talked about in Mythos. He was listening to Dr. Martin Buber speak and Dr. Buber kept using the word God. Now, Joseph Campbell spent his life reseraching myths and comparative religion. So, he raised his hand and politely asked Dr. Buber what he meant by God. He talked about those in India and how they viewed themselves. Dr. Buber became adamant and said something like, "You dare to compare!" As Joseph Campbell told this story he had to give a little laugh for he told the audience his job was to compare religion. He just wanted to know in what text the word God was being used.

In no way was I trying to say your form of humiliation was wrong. You come across as a woman of great integrity and one who would have discussed such things with her slaves/submissives at great length. You would know of limits and also that in dealing with a human being, some days one's limits can be quite vast, and others, one's limits may be pushed easily. In the latter I'm sure you would not keep pushing, but rather be there with aftercare.

It all comes down to good communication and understanding where each party is coming from. We all have our own little processors in our heads. Any Mistress/Master/Domme/Dom worth anything knows this and it is their job to understand how their slave/submissive(s) process things. And, it is a slave/submissive's job to be honest in their communication and understand their Mistress. And that comes with time, patience, compassion, and a big sense of humour. If we cannot laugh at ourselves then life will be miserable.

Thank you,
TranceTara
edited to correct the spelling of no to know. Man, how simple spelling can evade me when thinking of broad topics.

< Message edited by TranceTara -- 1/23/2009 11:13:29 AM >

_____________________________


“Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the Universal Human Experience, and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet!” -French and Saunders

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
I am not the one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

It is nonsense to because you claim to be a dominate, but yes, sometimes a dom and a mistress need to be put in their place. Sometimes a dom and a mistress can act like a fool, but I do know they are human. There are subbie who, will just roller over because the dom/mistress says so. I am not the one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

i guess the part of me stating that you claim to be a dominate has upset you to lash out and act like a beast.

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You’re a joke as a dominate

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ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

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You’re a joke as a dominate

Dominant!!!!

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ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
Again, people need to learn how to read and comprehend. I am seeing a lot of that coming through. How am I trying to get someone to affirm my behavior by starting this thread? If you need to go back to page one to understand the just of the question, instead of just reading from page 6 and then trying to answer the question.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

He is my BITCH Nervous break down, if you just mention my name.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reigna

I'd like to point out that, while several responses sympathized with the Dom, whose tears revealed him to be "only human," the sub has been bashed up one side and down the other for responding with rage to a perceived abuse. I get how fucked up the whole exchange probably was, but does the OP get to be human, too? Just curious.