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Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 6:41:41 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		i have been mulling posting this topic with Mistress's permission as it concerned our fledgling relationship and perhaps others as well.my situation is not ideal but as Mistress would say,how many really are??this led to her saying to me that she did not ask me to be her submissive to rescue me from my status.My answer was i don't want to be rescued,i wish to be renewed.i have learned from my mistakes and only wish to serve as has been my life's dream and goal.the question is,have any of you either Domina or submissive been in this predictament if you will and did you approach it with the same attitude.Have any of you actually rescued someone and didn't care that the term rescue would be applied in your case.i apologize if the questions seem a tad vague but this is all i have to go on.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 6:54:45 AM   
LeVoixDuMaitre


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		The issue of "rescue" or "renewed" is, in most cases, a situational matter.  Any submissive I've dealt with has had a level of both.  It would depend on what you are looking for as an open agenda, plus any hidden agendas you may not yet revealed to the Master/Mistress of your life.
If it's (using an analogy) along the lines of her balancing your checkbook, then that's an enabling behavior, thus a "rescue".  If you want Him/Her to guide you to the merits of keeping your financing in order, then that's a "renewal" behavior that puts the final responsibility on you, with guidance.
A submissive can provide pleasure, great pleasure actually, by discovering the needs, desires and expectations of the one she's asked to lead her.  That is in the realms of physical pleasure, emotional pleasure, as well as removing impediments to ascending to those levels.
As a Master I teach:  "My power is in only two areas, I hold a compass to show you the direction I am heading, and it's your choice to follow.  Secondly, I hold a mirror, to show you how beautiful you are, and how much more beautiful you can be, if you choose."
Ultimately, it is the submissive's responsibility to please in the behavioral modification(s) required by her Master/Mistress' tutelage.

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 7:45:30 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		<She smiles> nice post and I am sure a hard one-
 
I know for Me, a few years ago, I brought a sub to live with Me, I thought is was a renewal for Me after some serious life alterations--when I was soon to discover was it was a rescue for him--as a good Doobie, I sent him back to the pound better than I found him so My conscious was clear--however, I vowed that I had to be balanced in My needs/desires and I had to be very "openeyed" to any situation I looked at again--adding value had to be a two way street, not a one way dead end.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 8:02:15 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		See, this is actually a dangerous issue for me.

I have "white knight syndrome" -- yes, women can indeed have it.

I seem to attract what I called "wounded puppies" and even Fox was and perhaps is one of these though he's grown a lot and was in the process of healing himself when we met and has continued.

I think, as a well to not cope (which is a odd form of coping) with my own past, I react to others who need help by thinking "I can help them" and that let's me ignore my own issues and focus on another person's.

In my experience though, someone who is not dealing with their own issues first will be very happy to let you lead them through theirs but then when they are on their way to being fixed, they don't need or want you any more.

Better I've learned that I look for someone who is working on him/herself all ready or without so much baggage.

Though I still seem attracted to "wounded puppies". Not uncommon though for survivors to be attracted to survivors though. The more background you have in common the more likely you are to connect after all.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 10:52:05 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		In some things it is okay in my mind to help someone or be helped.  It all depends on the situation.  But having said that... I have made mistakes in helping someone who presented themselves dishonestly, but those were not romantic relationships.  If someone has a great deal to deal with, I often will set a stage where I am a support system, but not so involved that they will be hindered or that I will be.

I will accept people who have life issues... we all have had them.  But too much of a bad thing and they have a friend at most.  More of a bad thing and they don't even get that.  They are sent off with my well wishes.

I am noticing with this economy there are many more men contacting me and rushing things.  I am a giving person who has been through some hell due to illness and family things.  I do understand how one can get into a tight spot or how one might make mistakes.  The thing is... is there a pattern and does any of it lead to immaturity, warning signals of addictions, poor choices, emotional issues, legal issues and on and on.  If there is a pattern of issues I will look very seriously into the situation.  I will do research to know what I am dealing with.

More and more as things get worse out there... more will come with a story.  Some may not be able to work things out without help.  As for rescuing... no thank you. Supporting, sure... why not?  Well the why not would be if they are their own worst enemy and will bring into my life something that is more than requires some compassion and support.  Other than that... I am human, I have needed assistance and I have assisted and as long as I am able, I will most likely need one or the other at some point and will run into people who are the same.  Someone who needs rescuing in my mind... needs to move on to places I will direct them in kindness... but won't find a lifesaver in me.  They need to work out a few things on their own and rescuing them will only serve to enable them and a way to continue to do what they do without any growth or change.

I may bind someone... but not for life or in life issues.  Get it together or don't.  I won't be the next one someone can blame to excuse their own lack.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 11:19:04 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am similar to Tammyjo in that I have to be very careful with my urge to rescue. It probably causes me to go a bit far towards the other side, in many instances, just to avoid it.

I also am sure it is part of my draw towards younger women. Again, pros and cons.

I've just learned to proceed verrrrrrrrrrrry slowly, constantly weighing both my, and the sub/slave's intent. Both concious and otherwise. Being supportive of someone, giving them a boost up on occasion, is one thing. I just know myself well enough to know that a daily diet of it is not something I would do well with.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 12:11:26 PM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		i am guilty as anyone of making poor choices regarding partners and the lifestyle.perhaps i was too eager to live it and not look at the bigger picture before making my choices.well,i have to live with that for now but not for long.the one thing i always had in my heart besides the desire and need to live this lifestyle was hope.hope springs eternal as they say.little did i know the one person who i had turned to over the years and that was always there for me with encouragement and critique would be "The One"!!!For those whom have responded,thank you and all nicely stated.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 2:44:03 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not familiar with the use of these terms in this context, although I gather from a glance at Google that this is the vocabulary of faith. What do you mean by Rescue and what do you mean by Renewal?

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 4:20:26 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am a broken thing who tries to fix other broken things...  I've found that people who have had "issues" or traumatic life experiences are way more likely to "get" me than the folks who meander through life with nothing more serious than a hangnail.  I constantly remind myself that I can't save everyone, and not everyone CAN be rescued. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 4:23:51 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am a broken thing who tries to fix other broken things...  I've found that people who have had "issues" or traumatic life experiences are way more likely to "get" me than the folks who meander through life with nothing more serious than a hangnail.  I constantly remind myself that I can't save everyone, and not everyone CAN be rescued. 


You are NOT broken. Dont ya remember that moon lit evening? It was me and you and martinis and the Crazy Glue was flowin. Ah yes, such fond memories that was....

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 1/14/2009 4:24:19 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 4:29:05 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am a broken thing who tries to fix other broken things...  I've found that people who have had "issues" or traumatic life experiences are way more likely to "get" me than the folks who meander through life with nothing more serious than a hangnail.  I constantly remind myself that I can't save everyone, and not everyone CAN be rescued. 


You are NOT broken. Dont ya remember that moon lit evening? It was me and you and martinis and the Crazy Glue was flowin. Ah yes, such fond memories that was....



Okay, I am REPAIRED!!!   mmmm those gorgonzola stuffed olives....

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/14/2009 5:58:56 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		I refuse to see people as broken. Everybody to some degree has a past, everybody has emotional baggage, everybody has issues, and there are some issues which are easier to accept than others. I'm not here to rescue, nor to renew, but to trust, befriend, support, love, and bring happiness, meaning, and fulfillment to someone's life in a relationship where we both benefit and can coexist in some sort of harmony.

I can't do anything to change someone's past, all I can do is make someone's present brighter to create a better past in the future.

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/15/2009 4:55:05 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		if you are befriending,supporting,loving,bringing happiness,fullfillment and meaning to an otherwise very drab life and existence than are you not renewing said life and existence???some of us don't see a Domina dressed in leather all day long with 6 iunch heels and cracking a whip.some of us just need what you have stated and that would be renewal in my book.

(in reply to ALAstella)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/15/2009 7:16:38 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Ouch!  This one is a shot to the guts....

Hello A/all,

I have come to the conclusion that my current Mistress consideres me to be someting of a rescue project.  This is somewhat disconcerting when you consider that I have spent a lot of my life (in one way or the other) in the rescue business.

First, let me define terms as I see them:
Renewal:  Experiences re-invigorate; re-fresh, re-direct and/or  re-mind us of something we hold to be important.  I find that submission to a worthy woman is all of the above and more.
Rescue:  Removing a person from a harmful or difficult situation.  Rescue is a short term, situational based process.
Repair:   A process in which mal-functions (of objects, animals, and people) are diagnosed and treated to return a person (in our context) to a functional status.  Repair can be a long term process.

We can get into serious trouble when we confuse rescue with repair.  Repair requires special knowlege; a degree of detachment; and, in the case of people, willingness to be repaired.

That is really the only contribution that I can to this thread.  I am willing to rescue somebody and stabilize them; but, I am going to pass them on to professionals for repair

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger


_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/15/2009 7:52:59 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You are very wise, SnowRanger.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Rescue or Renewal - 1/15/2009 4:05:11 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chezzy71

if you are befriending,supporting,loving,bringing happiness,fullfillment and meaning to an otherwise very drab life and existence than are you not renewing said life and existence???some of us don't see a Domina dressed in leather all day long with 6 iunch heels and cracking a whip.some of us just need what you have stated and that would be renewal in my book.


Okay, if you want to see it that way you can.. I just wanted to use my own words to give my own opinion. Is that so wrong? I don't get where you see the second part in what I posted above.

I wrote what I wanted to write above and it meant as I intended it to mean. What is this? One true wayism where everything has got to be expressed your way?

Take it as you will, let others do the same, and please allow me to use my own words to write my own postings. I do have quite a good knowledge of English and can express myself quite well without anyone's help TYVM.

stella

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 16
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