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how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 7:16:57 PM   
leashme999


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline 		im just wondering if there is a better way to meet a dominant woman than just scanning profiles and sending introduction messages. any ideas? am i doing it wrong? any help would be appreciated. im a little new around here and to this stuff. thanks
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 7:25:13 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Check for munches in your local area, and scene related events.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 7:26:02 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		I hang around outside of their union meetings,if all goes well inside.....who knows i just might have a shot....

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 8:21:03 PM   
bluepanda


Posts: 328
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Check for munches in your local area, and scene related events.


Yup. And network, don't just use the events as venues for meeting dommes one on one. Because the one you're looking for may not be there that night. Just like when you're networking for a job, let people you meet know that you're looking and give them an idea of what you're looking for. They may know someone. Or they may run into someone next week who's also looking and who fits what you're looking for.

Don't be pushy or obnoxious about it, but anyone you meet at the munch and get along with, just mention you're looking for a partner and ask them if they know of some good upcoming events where you might meet some interesting people. As long as you come across as a decent, sincere sort of  guy, and not some would-be romeo cruiser, other people who are decent and sincere are usually going to be only too happy to help out.


_____________________________

Panda, Panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 8:28:45 PM   
leashme999


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline 		thank you. that helps 

(in reply to bluepanda)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 9:15:03 PM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		Parties might be a good place to start!

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(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/14/2009 9:34:42 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leashme999

im just wondering if there is a better way to meet a dominant woman than just scanning profiles and sending introduction messages. any ideas? am i doing it wrong? any help would be appreciated. im a little new around here and to this stuff. thanks


1.  Step away from the computer and get out where the kinky folks are.
 
2.  Don't look for a Domme/Domina/Mistress look for a woman.
 
3.  Get involved in the local community.  Not just attending events, but becoming a part of them.  Volunteer your time on a committee or just to help set up and tear down.
 
4.  Be honest and straightforward about what you want, what you need, and who you are.
 
5.  Don't be a walking kink seeking missile.  Be a person.  Dominant women are usually viewed as life support systems for strap ons, whips, shoes, feet, name your kink, it's a huge turn off.
 
that's all I can think of for now, I may be back with more.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 1:09:18 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Be prepared to negotiate simple play sessions, one-time experiments, when you do connect with someone of interest. Sometimes a mutual interest doesn't prove a good match-up when the two of you scene, and sometimes that overweight grey-more-than-blonde mid-life mama in the flat-heeled boots can take you places in subspace you never imagined were out there.

Munches and volunteering at kinky socials is a good way to make yourself noticed in a positive light…if, of course, you "play well with others". Believe me, offering to help instead of gluing to a wall and watching wide-eyed will earn you significant brownie points that you may not even know you have for some months.

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 3:02:12 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashme999

im just wondering if there is a better way to meet a dominant woman than just scanning profiles and sending introduction messages. any ideas? am i doing it wrong? any help would be appreciated. im a little new around here and to this stuff. thanks


5.  Don't be a walking kink seeking missile.  Be a person.  Dominant women are usually viewed as life support systems for strap ons, whips, shoes, feet, name your kink, it's a huge turn off.


LOL - that is classic !!  (and now I have to clean coffee off my screen !). Very well said ! 

_____________________________

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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 5:01:25 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

yourMissTress wrote:
Dominant women are usually viewed as life support systems for strap ons, whips, shoes, feet, name your kink, it's a huge turn off.

You've got it all wrong.  The shoes are the support system for the feet, the feet are the support system for the Domme, the Domme is the support system for the strap-on and the strap-on is a handy support to hang whips from.

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 5:22:41 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		i met Mistress here on CM however as some of you know by now,it took a long time before she asked me if i would be hers.i am retired and can no longer work even if i want to.Mistress has a job which at times can take up a good 12 to 16 hours a day.She also has a daughter and pets so there are many real life issues there.In other words although there is no doubt who is in charge,she is a Mother and a woman first.I care very deeply about that part of her life and if i didn't..well i would be searching in vain because i wouldn't be acceptable to anyone.

(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 6:59:27 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		I'm going to add a different perspective.  Even though I do attend classes from time to time, I no longer go to any social events in the community.  As soon as submissive men find out you're dominant, they're all over you and you can't get rid of them even if you've told them very politely but firmly that you're not interested.  They just keep telling you why you've got it wrong and why they would be just the absolutely bestest, most perfectest, fantastickest sub for you.  Frankly, it ruins the evening.

So, becoming known in your community is a good thing, because at least others can pass along that you're looking for someone, but bear in mind that a lot of dominant women don't attend social activities for the reason I outlined above.  I wouldn't give up on online venues just yet.  I'm not particularly looking at the moment, but it is the only place that I'm browsing.

(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 7:03:48 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Normally I'd go through my entire list of suggestions again, but today, I just don't feel like considering this same question was asked like last week I think...

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 7:08:39 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Like Venatrix stated try browsing here first. There are many avaliable beautiful(they are all beautiful)Dommes here in the forums. Be nice. Be a gentleman. Some them respect. Be yourself. Do not try to make yourself fit someone. Good luck.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 7:18:35 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		...decides not to go to any events in an attempt to win Miss Venatrix's favour...

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 7:26:20 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		ok.. dose of Lisa's tough love coming...  

First.. there are tons of threads on how to meet a woman around here, how to write a good intro letter, and lots of discussions about what we like.

There are also several threads on how to write a good profile, and I believe you need to change yours, including your picture.  You'll find that many of the women here are interested in whole people, not just a collection of fetishes or activities.  Your profile doesn't say a thing about you as a person.  Change that picture... put something up that shows you doing something you like, rather than your underwear... no body parts either.

and finally, take all the advice given here and for my money, use this as a tiny part of looking -- you said you are looking for someone local; in that case, turn off the square headed girl friend and go outside your house... you live in an area with offline resources.



_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to leashme999)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 8:02:05 AM   
gumshoe


Posts: 68
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Check for munches in your local area, and scene related events.


What go out and actually meet people R/L!!!

_____________________________

Where there is no imagination there is no horror, Arthur Conan-Doyle.


(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 11:30:19 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoursMistress

...decides not to go to any events in an attempt to win Miss Venatrix's favour...

yours



There's a smartarse in every bloody thread, isn't there?

(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 1:14:25 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I am not going to "shill" as one moderator accused me of doing, but there are a LOT of ways.  You should use every possible method.  I have met Mistresses on sites like CM, at school, at work, at parties, in personal ads in print, and on telephone personals.  There are a lot of DOs and DON'Ts.   

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how to meet a Domme? - 1/15/2009 3:57:33 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

Parties might be a good place to start!


For example the Republican Party, for example somewhere like Alaska.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)
Profile   Post #: 20
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