I feel compelled to ask, are you serious?

I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (Full Version)

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CatdeMedici -> I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:06:21 AM)
This is I guess a spin off from Tress's post about fantasy to reality--do you find that when you see things in a profile, you just HAVE to write and say--are you serious?? Now I am sure the purists will say---YKINMK and leave it alone---but don't you just wonder? Like severe ball busting: I mean good news its a fantasy that can become reality--bad news is it may be a life altering onetime thing. Want to be neutered--ok what makes a reasonably intelligent man think that is going to attract someone? Want to have no will, no rights, no decisions, be left chained in the basement 24/7 ok is this even possible in reality for the majority? Have you ever written or conversed with these kind of extreme ( this is My word and no one elses and is a generalization on My part, I admit it) individuals? How far did it go? What was their reasoning? I am sure we all assume its the shock factor--but there seem to me more and more and more and I have to wonder.. Are you serious?

devotedinSD -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:21:09 AM)
I wonder,too. I also have some extreme fantasies, but they'll stay just that, fantasies because they are either unrealistic or dangerous. Either way, I'm not going to flaunt them in my profile.

chezzy71 -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:25:41 AM)
Doesn't it astound most that in my particular case as to what really sends me to the netherworld,that i was berated by many on CM for being selfish and self-centered for my fetish??It doessn't need mentioning because the very fetish is so sublime it is almost comical.Which brings me to a scene i once saw at a play party and the Mistress in question was using urethral sounds on her male sub.I had never witnessed this before and quite frankly,it sickened me.I understand whatever floats your boat..same as me i would say.But to have a metal rod slide down my urethra????I don't even want the Doctor to do somethings to me.I still get the chills when i reflect on what i saw that night.

SassySarijane -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:29:09 AM)
There've been some things that made me think it to myself, but I have never been compelled to contact the person about it. All that would do is potentially start unnecessary bs, no thanks. I'll just keep thinking it when I see it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:32:07 AM)
I had been asked that too often years ago that I stopped caring about asking others. Mostly they wanted to "protect me" even from myself. But I was a young female so that's just what gets attracted. I did also get accused quite a few times of just doing it for the shock factor. So these days I figure they either aren't really serious and don't understand what they are really doing, or are actually serious and should be free to seek their bliss.

RedMagic1 -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:34:55 AM)
I see this relating to the Ask A Mistress discussion about the influence of pornography on the male view of male submission and female dominance. Fetish porn has grown increasingly "extreme" since the days of Bettie Page, and the scenes requested by fetish porn consumers have grown more extreme as well. So "tie her up and spank her in hot lingerie" -- or the F/m version of that -- is just sooo last century (even though in r/l I find that amazingly hot). It's the Jackass Phenomenon. Professional stuntmen do insane things on TV that are funny and cool, so people try to imitate them, or wish they could. But the "normal" people imitating them have no idea how much went into production, in terms of safety equipment, extra takes because the first 20 times didn't work, or medical bills. Also, it's a well-documented sociological fact that when a country's economy goes down, sexually "deviant" behavior goes up. You might be seeing more people in search of an escape, instead of in search of a relationship.

CatdeMedici -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 8:57:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Also, it's a well-documented sociological fact that when a country's economy goes down, sexually "deviant" behavior goes up. You might be seeing more people in search of an escape, instead of in search of a relationship. wow, THAT's a powerful statement.

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 9:11:48 AM)
I talked to a guy who wanted a girl to be chained to the leg of his bed (an ankle cuff, with enough chain length for her to get to the bathroom, kitchen, various phones, laptop by the bed, and if needed the, key) at all times, unless pampering herself, doing something involving water, or going out for a night. He and I didnt go too far. He lost his house and dungeon to a fire and we ended up losing touch for a bit while he get himself and what could be salvaged to a new place. His reasoning was that he wanted a submissive strictly for his pleasure that would be kept kinda like a princess. She wouldnt do housework, or cook unless she wanted. He had another that did the chores everyday. From what I hear from people who knew him longer than I did, he was serious. He had done it before.

allthatjaz -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 10:05:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici This is I guess a spin off from Tress's post about fantasy to reality--do you find that when you see things in a profile, you just HAVE to write and say--are you serious?? Now I am sure the purists will say---YKINMK and leave it alone---but don't you just wonder? Like severe ball busting: I mean good news its a fantasy that can become reality--bad news is it may be a life altering onetime thing. Want to be neutered--ok what makes a reasonably intelligent man think that is going to attract someone? Want to have no will, no rights, no decisions, be left chained in the basement 24/7 ok is this even possible in reality for the majority? Have you ever written or conversed with these kind of extreme ( this is My word and no one elses and is a generalization on My part, I admit it) individuals? How far did it go? What was their reasoning? I am sure we all assume its the shock factor--but there seem to me more and more and more and I have to wonder.. Are you serious? I have a Mistress friend that had a man change himself into her image and that was scary! He had facial plastic surgery, breast surgery and hair implants before having it designed to be just like hers. He copied her makeup, her clothes and her characteristics. There were certain things he didn't like about her so he offered her surgery to put them right! and all he achieved was seeing the back of her. I know of one rl amputee through fetish and I know of several men that seriously look at being castrated or having some ball busting from a Mistress they have a crush on. I recently had a guy ask me to brand 'cunt' on his forehead. None of these men, to my knowledge, are in a relationship.

allthatjaz -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 10:07:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Also, it's a well-documented sociological fact that when a country's economy goes down, sexually "deviant" behavior goes up. You might be seeing more people in search of an escape, instead of in search of a relationship. Interesting... thanks for that

subtee -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 10:17:07 AM)
I was compelled once to ask after I received a cmail from a man who wanted me to spend a weekend with him. I let him know that I wasn't a right fit for him, but he patiently and thoroughly answered my questions about what he does and wants to do.

thetammyjo -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 11:18:27 AM)
Sure I wonder and if they write to me then I'll ask them how they think that would work out in reality. Otherwise I just take it as a sign that we would not be compatible and move on.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 11:25:42 AM)
I saw on a different website a dom that wanted a slave that would be naked, shaved head, a breader, with a few months off in between babies. She was expected to breast feed all who wanted from her anytime anywhere, any children and him. also, home schooling the kids and being available sexually to him anywhere. I thought How would this work with kids? How exactly would this fantasy scenario work in real life?

NCNutCase -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 11:31:04 AM)
I think there is a common conflict for those who use BDSM as a fantasy based escape from their day to day lives... and those who use BDSM as a personal expression in their (real time) lives... I also find those who use it as a fantasy release create unhealthy opportunities to for 'outsiders' to judge 'real lifers'... That being said, I also have to admit I've met people in real time situations who are literally into things that I personally consider unbelievable... and at that point I have to accept each individual is in and of themselves unique... live and let live… I have my personal thoughts and preferences in regards to this topic, but I also accept sharing my ideas isn't going to make a grand difference, so I grin and walk away unless asked (such as here).

NCNutCase -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 11:32:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 I saw on a different website a dom that wanted a slave that would be naked, shaved head, a breader, with a few months off in between babies. She was expected to breast feed all who wanted from her anytime anywhere, any children and him. also, home schooling the kids and being available sexually to him anywhere. I thought How would this work with kids? How exactly would this fantasy scenario work in real life? I want a lot of things that I can't / shouldn't have... I guess I'm just realistic enough not to ask for them ;-)

pixidustpet -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 11:51:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 I saw on a different website a dom that wanted a slave that would be naked, shaved head, a breader, with a few months off in between babies. She was expected to breast feed all who wanted from her anytime anywhere, any children and him. also, home schooling the kids and being available sexually to him anywhere. I thought How would this work with kids? How exactly would this fantasy scenario work in real life? i agree with you... but then i saw the typo "breader" (which is the type i would do also!) and my brain tangented.... what would she bread? cause... after two carpetmice running about in toddler years, and being obligated to bare boob for whoever wants a bit of liquid refreshment, i'd be craving breaded testes on toast...preferably HIS. kitten, who is definitely off in the head.

CreativeDominant -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 11:53:33 AM)
I've seen some of "those" profiles too and have wondered several things besides "are you serious"? 1. Am I a wuss? 2. Am I really just a vanilla playing at being kinky? 3. Just what in the world inspired that desire/craving/line of thought? 4. Is this one way of pulling in allllllllllll kinds of email? 5. Is this...when compared to my own profile...why I get no more mail than I can handle? 6. Just how in the HELL would you inset that...so to speak...and make it work in your "normal" life? 7. Am I serious about D/s and BDSM? (joking here) To each their own, I guess but I have to admit...if someone approaches me and that someone has one of "those" things listed within their profile, then like subtee, I let them know politely that I am not a fit and ask them whether or not they would mind answering several questions. In most cases, they have been polite and I have found out more about their particular fetish/craving/desire. Didn't make me want to participate but I learned and there is never anything wrong with that AND in some cases, I've been able to present my case to them why what they were seeking was unsafe/unhealthy/unrealistic...in MY opinion...without ruffling too many feathers.

lronitulstahp -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 12:15:51 PM)
quote: Want to have no will, no rights, no decisions, be left chained in the basement 24/7 ok is this even possible in reality for the majority? i wanted this, then i realized i live in Florida....no basements.[&o] i don't see a huge stretch with the statement quoted above. As far as i see it, much of wiitwd is not about "the majority". It's about finding what works for one's own happiness, and living life as you see fit, without harming or violating the rights of others. Many people would be aghast and appalled to find that grown men and women consent to being OTK spanked by their partners when they need correction for bad behavior...but on the scale of kink, that's fairly minor. It's all about an individual's opinion of what is over the top or too extreme. ~slut in a glass house

RealSub58 -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 12:33:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Also, it's a well-documented sociological fact that when a country's economy goes down, sexually "deviant" behavior goes up. You might be seeing more people in search of an escape, instead of in search of a relationship. wow, THAT's a powerful statement. It's also true that the crime rate increases, not just sexually deviancy. Escape comes in many forms -- alcohol and drugs as well. I have often thought to ask not only "do you really mean this" {like one recent poster whose thread lingered "forever"} but "why, do you know {have any idea of the impact} what you are asking?" Actually I have done both. Usually I the answers to be based on a very low self worth or out of absolutely no knowledge save, maybe the fantasy of the Rice trilogy. It's not that these people are not educated, some are very educated by when the view of self or ego is altered/involved, people seem to sink into fantasy. It's an escape from their daily lives (like Second Life) but they don't realize {I think} it impacts their entire life.

SummerMagpie -> RE: I feel compelled to ask, are you serious? (1/15/2009 12:35:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Want to be neutered--ok what makes a reasonably intelligent man think that is going to attract someone? I'd date someone who was neutered, and the idea of a neutered-male pet is attractive to me, but it's a fantasy. The idea of doing that kind of body modification on someone is... not "horrifying," but sobering. It isn't something I'd ever do, or ever let a lover do without a LOT of talking to a LOT of different people... (though the idea of trying to find a headshrinker who wouldn't flip out makes me cringe) and maybe not even then, because I don't know if I could ever be certain he was doing that for himself and absolutely no one else. Neutering/eunuchs I see as a sort of related issue to transgendered- NOT the same, a eunuch is not a woman, but should be done for the same reasons (because that's who he is), and never lightly. Nothing permanent should ever be done lightly- what if you're wrong? And the notion of amputating a limb for non-medical reasons is just... baffling to me. Is it because I know accidental amputees? Still. YKINMK. As for the original topic... yes, I often wonder "are you serious?" though it's not usually about specific kinks. Usually it's for an overwhelming general impression of little-kid entitlement that I think of as "and a pony too!" (as in wearing out Santa's lap without a thought for where anything comes from, not the fetish ponies. ;) )

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