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subtee -> Hey Homies (1/16/2009 7:50:37 AM)

Assuming you are single or can imagine yourself as such:
 
If you found yourself in the position of needing or wanting to share resources and a home, would you look for a vanilla situation or would you instead look to another kinkster or poly situation? What do you see as the advantages/disadvantages of either choice?
 
I know it depends on the person and the situation, etc., etc., I want to know what you think, if you feel like sharing. Thanks!




LaTigresse -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 7:56:12 AM)

It wouldn't matter to me as long as they are accepting of our differences and respectful of me, my space and the value I place on my home and things.

Obviously somewhat kinky might be preferable but then again there seems to be an awful lot of drama associated........hmmmmm.

I am thinking  there would be the potential for issues either way.




Lockit -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 8:18:51 AM)

I have always lived life planning on the needs of others or my family and the chance that living in groups might be needed.  My only requirements really are that people know the situation is needed, respect themselves and other's and will be mature in how they live with other's.  Respect goes a long way in each person and in a group.  We can be different and will have things we don't care for in other's and them with us... it is how we respect one another and any dependents that really makes a working situation.

I cannot tell you how many people I have brought into my homes... some nightmares and some not.  You can see a situation that looks good and then  over night the person thinks... wow.. this is easy.. I have more money... I am going to play and they use that money and can't hold up their end.  So the way I see it, be able to handle it alone if they fail in some way... be prepared to deal with anything someone else might do.. being too dependent on them for rent and such can pose serious life issues.  I will not wait too long to bring in other's if I need them so that I have some solid ground and I will save what I can becasue of their addition so that I can brace for anything that could happen.

But it does help if they understand you and how you live your life and do not think badly of you for it... becasue in most situations... there will be an argument and there is a lot of damage that can be done from a simple... you are so fucked up you want to hurt or be hurt... you sick fuck!  Now that can just ruin a day!  So it is best if someone knows I like to lock things up and beat on butt's and doesn't have a problem with it. 




beargonewild -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 8:36:53 AM)

I'm assuming this is a situation that is platonic in nature? If so, I'd want a person who is at least kink friendly, if not then another kinkster.




kdsub -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 8:37:16 AM)

Hi subtee

Unless you have no choice...no way to survive without added income...DON"T do it. There is no bigger hassle on this earth than a border or roommate. You think you know a person...you don't.  It’s hard enough for people who love each other to live together.

It is a friendship breaker with someone you know…even harder with a relative when things go bad… and can be dangerous with a stranger.

Butch




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 8:58:48 AM)

When I needed a place in MD, I specifically looked for kinky people.  Just made it a lot easier and I didn't need to explain or hope that they were "open."




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:02:28 AM)

Kink friendly, kink aware, not folks who would have a cow when I left the house in a leather corset dress...




Lucylastic -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:16:31 AM)

Definitely would have to be kink friendly or kinky themselves, altho if I ever found myself single again, I would be content to be alone with no responsibilities to anyone but myself.
Lucy 




MsFlutter -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:19:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

When I needed a place in MD...."


okay - back the truck up.. LA was in MD? When??? Why was I not informed of this??




subtee -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:28:45 AM)

LeeAnn pointed out that there might be drama associated with kinksters. Do you see any other potential disadvantages? For example, do you think there would be potential for an hierarchy to form even unintentionally, because of where each of you fits on the D/s continuum? Or perhaps for the relationship to morph into something beyond roommates due to same?

Yes, I know it's possible, it depends on the people involved; again, I want your thoughts, if you feel like it.

[8|]





colouredin -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:33:40 AM)

I think just kink friendly really would be my priority. I lived with 5 other people a few years ago one person was very anti-kink which was a big problem for me. Now I live with my family I obviously just have to keep it all on the quiet side. But I am pretty sure that if I was lving alone it would be something important to me.

I guess there is a chance of herirarchys forming if you let them but to be honest that can happen when vanilla people live together you always get group dynamics dont you. But I think it is less likely when its just two people. Its just important that you are on the same wavelength.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:39:39 AM)

LOL Flutter, I was born and raised in MD, was there until 2001, then again from 2004-2006.  I was very active in BESS.




Focus50 -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 9:54:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Hey Homies

This term comes up a fair bit in American shows....  Exactly what is a "homie"?

quote:

Assuming you are single or can imagine yourself as such:

Single?  Yeah, I've had a little too much experience of that in the last decade....
 
quote:

If you found yourself in the position of needing or wanting to share resources and a home, would you look for a vanilla situation or would you instead look to another kinkster or poly situation?

Sharing - as in a non-intimate relationship? 
 
I could only imagine that being a family member in need because I reeeeeally like (and need) my space and privacy.  So yeah, I'd accommodate them but it'd *have to* be a temporary arrangement - and I'd probably be counting down the days till I get my space back.  Kink is definitely not a factor and the "toy room" is locked and off limits!
 
quote:

What do you see as the advantages/disadvantages of either choice?

It's all disadvantage to me....  Oz is generally a hot, dry place (was 42C here yesty) and I'm not big on wearing too much clothing (if any) in the home.  Having a relly staying over would really cramp my "freedom".....
 
quote:

I know it depends on the person and the situation, etc., etc., I want to know what you think, if you feel like sharing. Thanks!

Well I'd definitely feel more comfortable sharing with a hottie like you (shamelss, obvious *wink*), esp given the house dress code where the girl generally doesn't wear more clothing than myself....
 
Focus.




Lynnxz -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 10:10:51 AM)

Kink friendly.

I'm not too keen on room mates anyway though. Blah, there's always some kind of issue going on. I have my reclusive side, thanks [:D]




Jeptha -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 10:28:17 AM)

I've had a lot of roommates in the past for that very reason, and I think I've figured out that if I ever need another one, a major thing will be if our personalities click - that is, if we communicate easily about a variety of things.

(A general hint to shy people of the universe: you may be a great person, but if you stand before me as basically a cypher, or a nut that I have to crack to get any information from, then I will have absolutely no basis on which to choose you.)

But I'll still check to see if they can grasp the concept of cleaning up after themselves.
I'll check references if I can.

I like living by myself, and hope it doesn't come to that again. But who knows?

As for kink or not; that would be great, but I doubt that that would significantly factor into my decision.




subtee -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 10:31:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

This term comes up a fair bit in American shows....  Exactly what is a "homie"?


It's short for "homeboy." Since you watch American TV, it would be Eddie Haskell to Wally Cleaver for our generation. ~wink~


quote:

I could only imagine that being a family member in need because I reeeeeally like (and need) my space and privacy.  So yeah, I'd accommodate them but it'd *have to* be a temporary arrangement - and I'd probably be counting down the days till I get my space back.  Kink is definitely not a factor and the "toy room" is locked and off limits!

 
What if you were the one "in need?" For example, what if you lost your shirt (~cough~) in the markets?

quote:

It's all disadvantage to me....  Oz is generally a hot, dry place (was 42C here yesty) and I'm not big on wearing too much clothing (if any) in the home.  Having a relly staying over would really cramp my "freedom".....


Good lord, we gotta find an happy median. Yesterday it was -31C here. Although this has warmed me up quite a bit:

quote:

Well I'd definitely feel more comfortable sharing with a hottie like you (shamelss, obvious *wink*), esp given the house dress code where the girl generally doesn't wear more clothing than myself....


[sm=wave.gif]~~tee




ResidentSadist -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 10:36:02 AM)

Hey homegirl…

I have grown accustom to having a dungeon in my home.  I’d go for lifestyle roomies and make it a collective dungeon saving space.




hardbodysub -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 10:45:50 AM)

It would be a secondary consideration rather than a primary one. The most important things are location, space, cost, living arrangements, and general compatibility. Other things being equal, I'd prefer kinky with a personal relationship with me / kinky but platonic / kink friendly / kink aware, pretty much in that order.

Advantages would be information sharing and learning from each other, not having to hide activities, possibly attending events together, etc., and potentially even being play partners or a LTR. Disadvantages would be the same as any vanilla living situation where romantic relationships might develop and possibly sour.

P.S.: I just learned that Bart Simpson is the son of Eddie Haskell




CelticPrince -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 11:03:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Assuming you are single or can imagine yourself as such:
 
If you found yourself in the position of needing or wanting to share resources and a home, would you look for a vanilla situation or would you instead look to another kinkster or poly situation? What do you see as the advantages/disadvantages of either choice?
 
I know it depends on the person and the situation, etc., etc., I want to know what you think, if you feel like sharing. Thanks!


subtee,

for myself, I would seek a like person as the chance for misunderstanding is too great.

CP




BigDirty -> RE: Hey Homies (1/16/2009 11:06:28 AM)

If you have too do the roomate thing, definately find like minded people.  Nothing worse then folks looking at you like you are crazy cause you are KINKY




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