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feydeplume -> RE: Form Letter (1/17/2009 4:43:00 AM)
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Ok rough draft two:
Please do not bother to respond to this email, as I will probably have blocked your profile by now. Below is/are my reasons for refusing your request/demand: I have no interest in your basement/dog run/barn/closet. - I have no desire to hand over my paycheck so you can watch cable all day.
- I don't want to move to Africa/Asia/your state either to be your spouse or your slave. Those are even bigger places (and messes) than your basement.
- I would never do that with a baseball bat, I have more respect for the sport than that.
- I am not homosexual/heterosexual/bisexual and have no wish to be.
- I strongly believe that animals have rights too and would not want to violate their rights and have the SPCA on my ass.
- I don't wear that size shoe.
- I am not here to write new wank material for you, unless you pay by the word. Paypal, cash up front.
- I don't bend that much, nor do I want to learn how to.
- I want a real, twoo (insert label of choice here) and you just ain't it babe.
- You are not a Dominate and you cannot Dominant me. I am not the droid you are looking for.
- I believe that losing THAT much blood would make you my Murderer not my Master and no I don't think it would be a good weightloss plan.
- I don't do Sploshing or Splooching and have no desire to cover myself in Bush's Baked Beans or any other canned food product, especially spam.
- I don't think anyone should be left in a closet for "Days" that would just be boring, even with a net connection, all the bon-bons I can eat, and a picture of you. Now if you throw in a Toy or Pet of my choosing...
- I have no desire to fuck you with a strap on while you order me to call you my bitch (Sends Mixed Messages) and you just don't have that much money.
- No I will not be your practice girl for live spinning knife throwing I don't care how kinky you find it. I like my body parts as much as you like yours, attached and fully functional. Just THINK about that one buster.
- I am not interested in anyone of us switching underwear at ANY time. I don't “do” tighty-whities.
- Choking to the point of black out on your cock is not as attractive to me as it is to you and from the attached picture, probably not likely either.
- If I wanted to do porn I'd have done porn so I'm NOT interested in posing for your cell phone
- Yes I would be offended if you wanted me to fuck all your friends while you jerked off in the corner. But hey if they are cute wanna' introduce me to a few of them?
- Face slapping is for hot intimate moments and women names Scarlet we don't know each other that well and I do not rely on the kahdness of strangers.
- Licking your asshole..... Lets add that to my Hard Limits List
- I have no desire to be your little girl or soil my diaper for you. Baby power and diaper rash ointment just aren't sexy to me.
- Much of what you want of me is a Felony.
- Much of what you want of me is physically impossible or would require stunt men and women.
- My state has stalker laws and my lawyer will be contacting you.
Thank you for this look into you fantasies and writing skills. Better luck next time.
Edited for format and coffee
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