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FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: trying to better understand female dommes (1/17/2009 1:01:45 AM)
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ORIGINAL: curiousub88
What i've been wondering is: are women ever in charge when it comes to sex? Yes. Actually women are in control of sex most of the time. They control when and if there is going to be any even in vanilla settings.
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I know (or assume) that domme's think this way because they are controlling their environment. Yet, i feel that sex is a man's domain, he is the one constantly looking for it, asking for it and it is usually the woman that holds them back and lets them wait and its generally the woman who gives the go-ahead to have sex First you assume wrongly that being dominant is about sex. Just because a man has more of the aggressive hormone, and maybe even if some primitive instincts make him seek sex out more often, does not mean it's his domain to control, unless you are suggesting he can by committing an illegal act by forcing it upon unwilling fems.
Domination is about authority or power over another, and each domina decides whether the relationship is going to involve sex or not.
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With that said, i'm wondering, are female pro-dommes or really any domme that has multiple partners (or clients) anything different from a prostitute? First of all, you say prostitute like it's a bad thing. This delineation that says women who give away their bodies without expectation of anything in return are more honorable than the ones who take money in return is slightly misguided.
I'm guessing you are from a very puritanical mother who married the first man she had sex with, because you certainly couldn't be suggesting that someone who behaved like her, could otherwise be considered a whore. Who are you to call women out of their names, because you disapprove of how they live, perhaps for having chosen to have multiple partners?
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Prostitutes go after mainstream men while dommes go after the underground and less common kind of man. Where did you get this from? Submissive men are not underground or uncommon at all.
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I understand that a lot of domme's don't engage in sexual activity with clients or partners, yet are you not still giving sexual satisfaction to the guy who gets to see you parade around in lingerie or leather that shows off your figure, or maybe even cleavage? If my dressing as I enjoy, or walking with flat shoes makes someone hot, I'm perfectly kool with it. Some women enjoy dressing in a sexy fashion, and like the way they look in heels. A woman is not more powerful because she dresses poorly, refuses to wear lingerie or heels. A woman is powerful when she is bad enough to be herself, whether men are around to watch or not. Being a dominant woman is not about busting men's balls (necessarily), and refusing men enjoyment. If a lady is doing what she wants to do, and someone else enjoys it, more power to her.
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the guys coming are looking for some sort of pleasure, and for the masochist, they are getting a kind of sexual pleasure. So are most women who know their bodies, especially dominant ones.
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Comparing Prostitutes to dommes with multiple partners/clients, they seem very much alike, they are getting paid by the guy and the guy is getting sexually aroused (unless someone wants to dispute this?) Where do you get this? There are dominas who have multiple partners who serve them, and that is totally hot, if they can handle it. Again, you say prostitutes like it's the ultimate sin.
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I'm going to guess that some people will reply that who is in power makes all the difference. What i say to that is this: strippers are in the same position. They are in power when it comes to the men who walk into the strip club, they use techniques to get the cash from their wallets and have the men in their power by dancing around in their skimpy outfits. But at what cost? Yes, the women have power, but at the cost of objectifying theirselves, and not to mention that when we look at the greater scale, men are supporting these women, they somehow or another got into this job (be it desperately needing money or just easy money) which was created by men. So women may have some power, but men have a much greater power because they created this industry Most of us have to work for our money; and most of us didn't invent the wheel, so we work for other people for money. If a lady can get her business taken care of financially by dancing or exchanging her skills/appearance for money better than she could as a medium income worker, it is entirely her prerogative to do so, without fear of judgement from some jerk off who doesn't give her a thing except attitude and condescension.
Feminism to me, is about controlling one's own destiny, not allowing oneself to be dictated by men or other women. No one is going to tell me that in order to be a feminist, I need to become unattractive, and hate men.
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do the dommes think of themselves as an alternative slut/whore/prostitute No, only you think this way, no domina thinks of herself this way, unless she feels like it for play's sake.
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I love women You could have fooled me. And with friends like you....
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What makes it ok/not ok to act this way? Being sufficiently self aware to know who I am, what works for me in a relationship/sexually, and because I can (be myself as a dominant person in a relationship, not a prostitute). M
P.S. I'm going to give you some free advice, since you are young, and clearly haven't much of a clue when it comes to women... Firstly, don't presume to know us, and jump to conclusions, when it's much easier to pay attention closely, and learn that way. Secondly, NEVER, EVER, EVER, call a woman out of her name, unless she explicitly says to you "I'm turned on when you call me.... " M
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