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RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 12:45:35 PM   
NCNutCase


Posts: 129
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline
My first local event was a Fetish party at a hotel… but prior to that I had to meet a few people for dinner so they could make sure I wasn’t the wrong kind of weird…
 
It went well, they were kind and friendly, asked rational questions and offered rational input… I remained friends with them until I moved away from that town (Wilmington, NC)…
 
The Fetish Party was awkward. Everyone had to be in "Fetish wear" which I didn’t have any. A friend chose an outfit from her gay son’s closet to offer me and I definitely didn’t feel myself in that flamboyant outfit. But the people there were real easy to meet and talk to. Sure there were a few cliques that didn’t welcome a new guy, but there were enough friendly people that I stayed occupied. My second party I dressed myself, knew a couple people and felt MUCH more at home…
 
Since then I’ve attended many munches and even hosted one for a year or so. I always found it very important to welcome new people, make myself available to answer questions or offer discussion, but at the same time not overcrowd them and push them away. I’ve also made it a point to discourage others from overcrowding a new person. Some people just want to be a voyeur at their first meeting…

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 1:16:20 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I went to my first (and only) munch this past November.  I waited until the last minute and made the 1 hour drive. Although I got there 20 minutes late (I had called ahead to be sure that would be ok...it was), everyone was very welcoming and friendly. It was a very laidback crowd and I was made to feel comfortable for the most part.  There were a few that seemed a bit cliquey but that's to be expected when you enter into any well-established group of people.
 
Unfortunatly, my schedule makes it next to impossible to attend as often as I'd like.  I have had a couple people from the area contact me on CM and ask if I ever go to munches. I explain the schedule/time issue and I've been surprised by the rude responses. I've been told if I was really interested, I would make the time and that I need to figure out my priorities....ha!
 
I'm not really a social butterfly so I don't have a burning desire and need to go for the social aspect.  I would like the chance to see some demos and learn some new things...all in good time. I do feel it can be a really good place to start if you're new and I always try to suggest attending one.

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(in reply to parakeet89)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 5:56:40 AM   
manaclesvelvet


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loliita

I never have been to a munch but I'm thinking about attending one that is being held by some people from the kink forum in craigsslist. I don't know what to expect. Boredom probably.

I'm thinking about holding my own munch and spanking everyone who shows up. The spanking would be discrete of course. :-O

That is priceless, Loliita;  I like your style!

"hey, who's the girl in the men's room with a paddle?"

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 8:37:00 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		My first munch, I fainted.  It became a habit of mine.  Ask Softness...


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 10:55:55 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Mine was a couple years ago... Very awkward.  It was a small gathering of a newer group in the area that had started and I just could not be comfortable that night.  There was one person there that was the source of my discomfort, I just never felt okay around them then or other times, so when speaking to folks I kept hesitating and stumbling over wording and misspeaking and such.  A wincingly bad and inaccurate first impression of me to them, in my opinion.  All were polite and friendly, though, and some were and are great folks that I've had the privilege to continue knowing through the other group in the area (the one that munch was for is now gone).  Am glad I went and met folks, as it led on to now!

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(in reply to parakeet89)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 11:50:44 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Hoping to go to my first munch in February. looking forward to it but a bit nerve wracking at the same time
kevin

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 12:45:20 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		my first munch/social was a well attended function that meets on the 5th wed. of the month, so it only happens 4 or 5 times a year. i was very burned out on online and had to get off the comp and out and about to meet people face to face. i was excited, nervous, shy and very quiet that first time. i attended with a well known Dominant and his slave, so i had opportunity to meet a lot of people. many of these people, i became close to and have ongoing friendships to this day. i was so determined to get our from the comp that i had to drive 2 hours one way to attend my first socials. one of my deciding factors in moving from Palm Springs top Orange County was to become more involved in the community.
i remember well my first public outings and i try to reach out to the new faces and make them feel as welcomed as i was. my work schedule has prevented me from attending on any sort of regularity for the past 2 years, but next week i am going to go to a social that i had attended often in the beginning to say good-bye....i am moving to Florida! that will be a lil bittersweet.
 
may we all find our bliss.

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may we all find our bliss

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We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 2:23:55 PM   
MaitreeseM74


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/18/2009
Status: offline 		anyone knows of any upcoming munches in new jersey? north jersey ofcourse....

MM

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 3:30:26 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Haha, sounds like me when I went to my first (and only) Fur-meet. I went with a couple of friends and hung out with a bunch of furries at a mall. It was cool...

but I've never been to an actual Munch... I'm interested in going, but I don't have or know any info about any that are close by. Also, I don't have a friend to go with me, and I tend to be too shy to do these sorts of things without them

(in reply to parakeet89)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 7:41:59 PM   
KokuRan


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		Went to my first 2 munches in the same week different group.
The first was very fun, about half the group were peer in their 20s, the other half older folks with years of experience. Everyone was talking to everyone, even the newbies.
The second, not much spread in the age group, mostly mid 30's to mid 40's. They broke off into groups and made it very clear they weren't interested in having anything to do with anyone they didn't know.

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 8:56:40 PM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I was nervous some but had the advantage of long friendship with the couple who arranged/host our local munch. I had a good time, having no expectations of finding a partner on the spot (courtesy of my friends' pre-flight briefing). I did meet one guy with whom we later experimented with a couple of play techniques, switching, but that just served as a useful empirical means of testing what sorts of play I enjoyed. The big step was meeting humans and not pixels.

Lady Delilah Deb

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--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Your First Munch - 1/18/2009 9:18:44 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		First munch I went to, was the first time Miss allowed me to satisfy my curiosity about the local community. There was the floor with those displaying their thing. Most of what I experienced were a few pros mixing about. Either they were connecting with people they already knew or they were attracting new clients. For the most part, what I observed was a lot of voyeurism and mostly male. Guys that I would not even want to get to know at all. Totally not what I expected and very much unlike those that I once knew at the Barn in TO.
I don't think I will ever go to another munch, at least not one where I do not know at least someone.

Now I know this thread is about my first munch, but I thought that this would be a good time to share my experience yesterday. Since the OP did mention how nervous she was, I felt that I should share how I can relate by sharing my own nervousness. (this is by no means an attempt to hijack the thread)
I would like to add that I was allowed to go to the Taboo show here and without wearing my collar. Wearing a collar in such a public showing is like a security blanket and I would not have been as nervous as I was. I managed to have a good time, right up until my nerves began to get the best of me. I enjoyed the dungeon there but unfortunately I was told to return to Miss without a mark upon my self. A Dom there was kind enough to give me a shiver with a half dozen sharp snaps of his whip. Had to leave however because might I had remained, I would have told my self to hell with Miss and pulled my shirt and bra off just to be whipped good and proper.
Four hours I managed to remain until my nerves managed to cause my tummy to start doing flip-flops and it was time to leave. In addition it was really beginning to become crowded and you can imagine for someone like me that is prone to claustrophobia, because there was like booth to booth crowds, it just felt like I could hardly move. I needed to remove my self because I was beginning to feel like I was suffocating.

I think that is perhaps another reason why I did leave my first munch. It was beginning to get crowded and I felt like I was being suffocated.



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To my own self, I be true.

Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

(in reply to parakeet89)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Your First Munch - 1/22/2009 2:10:55 PM   
Metamorph


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2008
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I decided to give it a shot a few years ago and attended a local munch with a sub. We totally got the "fresh meat" treatment with a LOT of attention focused on her, not all of it entirely respectful. Well, they were a nice group of people, but way too cliquey (which is, actually, understandable). The second munch was not exactly a disaster but I was quite angry at the behaviour of some of the "dirty old men" types that showed up and tried to charm my sub by "out-domming" me (i.e. acting like total assholes). Haven't bothered since.

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Your First Munch - 1/22/2009 5:58:26 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		My first Munch (in Absecon, NJ) was very very boring too. I was (and still am) very shy, around strangers. I went a few more times, but this one wasn't right for me. Most of the people stayed in groups, and they mostly just said hi. Now I know it wasn't just everyone at the munch's fault. I should of had more nerve and went to introduce myself, but it seems mostly males with their female subs, or lesbian couples. Not many women who seemed like Mistresses.

I did stop going, but think I might go back sometime, and try to be more assertive, though I don't feel subs are like that. It's a shame they didn't have someone who could "SPONSER" new members, and indroduce them around.

Sincerly, sub BalletBob

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Your First Munch - 1/22/2009 6:59:35 PM   
loveandlight87


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		I was terrified my first munch.  I had decided though that I was going to make a point to introduce myself to at least 4 new people.  I exceeded my goal, which for a shy introvert was astonishing!  I am so thankful that I went.  While the munches themselves aren't necessarily packed with tons to see and do, the events that come from them, like play parties, demonstrations and discussion groups, certainly more than make up for the tamer munches. 

I don't necessarily have a lot of vanilla things in common with the folks that I attend with, but there is a connection and the connection to the 'community' is becoming very important to me. 

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 35
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