RE: Starting off on a negative note...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Starting off on a negative note...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Starting off on a negative note...

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 6:15:46 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I start out with what I feel is the most important information he needs to have, so that if he at least reads past the first 2 lines, he'll have an inkling of whether or not to contact me, since in my experience, most don't read past the first few lines. Will it matter in the long run? I don't know, but having tried the loving babe route, now going with please don't, if...
M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 6:22:29 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

The first thing you will see in my profile, in big letters, is "Not interested in cyber/online activities." It may be negative but it has significantly reduced the number of people from, say, Romania who email and want to "totally dominate" me. Given that I still receive email from people who are in my general area and express interest I'd say many do read past that and don't seem to have a problem with it's tone...so I'd say it accomplishes exactly what I want it to accomplish. If there are people who read it and think "Oh, how negative and rude" that's ok too. In those cases I don't know what I'm missing so no big loss there.

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 6:30:05 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrcorky

If I can throw my two cents in here ... Is it possible this is more a question of personalities than of actions. When we fill out our profiles, we put a little bit of ourselves into them. Just like in real life, sometimes you run across people with personality traits you like - and sometimes you meet people with personality traits that make you think of grabbing them by the neck and flinging them into oncoming traffic. It isn't that there is anything wrong with the person - it's just that their personalities and ours don't mix very well. So, we tell them to "have a nice day" and walk away without giving it a second thought. :-)

That's the way I see it. Beesides, why would I want to try and present myself as something I'm not?

What I don't understand is all these people who've tried to email someone and point out what's wrong with their profile to "help" them. Unless the person asked for help why would anyone do that? That seems really patronizing to me and I don't know anyone who likes to be patronized.

I don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea but I also won't present myself as something I'm not to try and bait people to contact me. IMO, that's unethical and ultimately a time waster for everyone involved.

< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 1/8/2006 6:33:55 AM >

(in reply to mstrcorky)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 7:49:27 AM

LadyJC

Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

My profile has it's basics but also has guidelines like I don't want a relationship with anyone who lives more than a 2 hr drive. I find it completely unfair and difficult for both parties to get together. I am looking for a real relationship, as well trying to ween out the HNGs an wannabes, I still get emails from time to time but the ones I was getting before wanted online play or lived really far away.
My biggest peeve is someone who says, I don't do webcam play...but they don't put their location down. Once I asked someone where they were from and he got kind of rude with me saying he doesn't do webcam play anymore. If you don't want a long distance relationship then at least put down the location. Negativity it depends on what it is if someone states I won't do webcam play right of the bat I can understand that however if through the post the spelling and grammar is horrible and they're putting themselves down then I can't be bothered.
LadyJC

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 11:05:04 AM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

When I see these profiles which start out very negative I think, oddly enough, of the political hotspots in the world where violence seems to continue endlessly. Each side in some cases says that we will stop shooting when the other side stops, but any violence against us will be met with violence.

The result is that the person in charge of the political process is not the leader of either side but rather the most hot-headed crazy who can find a gun or a bomb, even an outside agitator with no stake in either side. No matter how many people want peace or how badly, they have all given up their power to the crazies and as long as one crazy on either side is willing to commit violence, two entire nations remain at war.

If you start your profile with negative crap, aren't you allowing the people whose opinion you care about the least to have the most power over your self-expression?

The fact that some people manage to have gracious profiles and make it work for them shows that it can be done. Maybe some of them would share their secrets with those who in their frustration see no alternative to making such a grand display of negativity even though in fact they may not be such negative people.

(in reply to truesub4u)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 2:15:00 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

The fact that some people manage to have gracious profiles and make it work for them shows that it can be done. Maybe some of them would share their secrets with those who in their frustration see no alternative to making such a grand display of negativity even though in fact they may not be such negative people.

Maybe to you we're making a grand display of negativity, and to us we're simply being...
As has been mentioned above, it's best to present oneself honestly without with minimum BS in order to bait people, since I agree it saves time and energy among other things. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Noah)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 3:40:54 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

I am curious about members of this, and other sites, who start off their profile with something negative.

The negativity you speak of is very subjective {At least in my mind}. I think if a lady is getting 50 plus e-mails a day and they're all from guys that are 5'8 and shorter { Just an example}, when the criteria listed in her profile clearly states only those 6'0 and above, then I have no problems with a bitchy profile {As long as everything else is up to snuff ; }

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 3:47:32 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger
The negativity you speak of is very subjective {At least in my mind}.

You make a good point. The majority of people who contact me state that they find my profile refreshing. One person's refreshing is another's negative. I don't want to attract EVERYONE, just the ones who find me a refreshing change from what they normally encounter. If I accomplish that, which I seem to, then it's all good, IMO

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 4:27:42 PM

DreamyLadySnow

Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline

Thank you all for your responses. As usual, they have given me a lot to think about.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week.

LS

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/8/2006 8:51:56 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

Let's just compromise and say that you're real negative.
========

so do I get points for honesty?

aint no one can ever say i ever lied about nothing....

and i damned sure dont hide anything.

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to Noah)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Starting off on a negative note... - 1/9/2006 6:28:03 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamyLadySnow
Does anybody read past the initial negatives to see what's underneath?
Lady Snow

Nope. If they give a list of "Don't even think of posting to me if you are..." or "People on this sight are so dorky" or a very confrontational "I'm sick of dorks!" then I just slide on by.

It means that they are focusing on their frustration and negativity so much that they feel it is the best thing to show others on first glance. It means they are letting mundane normal cyber occurrences take over their perspective and that means they either can't deal with them simply and efficiently, or deal with them by overreacting. I don't want someone who has that sort of attitude in my life.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)

Profile

Post #: 31