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I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just sit t... - 1/18/2009 10:34:40 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		i am wondering what i can do to overcome my shyness. please don't tell me to join some organization on speechmaking. I am absolutely terrified to be up in front of people...
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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/18/2009 10:38:48 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		Go with friends.

(in reply to winterlight)
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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/18/2009 10:41:00 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Ok I won't then.
Have you done your first Bank job yet?
"Everyone DOWN ON THE FLOOR!!!"
Instant extrovert!
Bank robbers are the creme de la creme of crime.

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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/18/2009 10:56:18 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well, the first question is...why exactly do you want to overcome your shyness?

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

i am wondering what i can do to overcome my shyness. please don't tell me to join some organization on speechmaking. I am absolutely terrified to be up in front of people...

(in reply to winterlight)
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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/18/2009 11:06:33 PM   
HalfShyHalfWild


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

i am wondering what i can do to overcome my shyness. please don't tell me to join some organization on speechmaking. I am absolutely terrified to be up in front of people...


Hey, you are doing better than me. I still can't bring myself to go!

So I'm going to give you the advice that I perfectly ignore myself!  

Find some local subs or Dommes in the area, more smaller group, perhaps all female if you can find it. Branch out with friends. Real friends. A good friend, or two, always helps in that type of situation, just knowing you have support or back up.




< Message edited by HalfShyHalfWild -- 1/18/2009 11:07:21 PM >

(in reply to winterlight)
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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/18/2009 11:27:17 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Winterlight, I know!
Put together a comedy act and hit the stage!
Who cares if there's 1,000 people in the audience!
Tell them some jokes, get them laughing!
"Did you ever hear the one about the village blacksmith who sold chastity belts at 50 bucks a crack?" Ba dum bum!
"NO? What do you call an Arab with his arm up a camel's ass?"
"A Mechanic!"
"What do you get when you mix a migrant farm worker and an octopus?"
"I dunno but that son of a bitch sure can pick tomatoes!"
Come on Winterlight, once you've been on stage the rest is a cakewalk!
And, even if you bomb, you did it!

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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/19/2009 1:30:52 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Try to stop caring so much about what other people think, and just show up, and try to say hello, am shy but trying.    Or have a drink before you go if don't have that problem.    I too was incredibly shy, but after turning 40, began to feel stupid for keeping quiet so much because of fear, so began to do the "what the hell thing."   M

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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/19/2009 1:46:21 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Winterlight, if you're shy, you're shy, never look at it as a failing. My own boy is profoundly shy and I happen to find that endearing, it's a trait I hope he never loses. Onto more practical things tho... If there is a specific munch you would like to attend, try to find out who else may be going, if you have a friend you can meet beforehand as it could well be that your friend knows some of the other munch attendees and before you know it, you could find yourself engaged in light-hearted conversation regarding non-kink related interests once you have gotten over the initial awkwardness of meeting someone new. You could always find out who runs the munch and then write to them, explain that you would love to attend, but are deeply shy. If they are worth their salt and want to ensure continued munch success they will be on hand to meet you personally and see that you are comfortable. They will also have an inkling as to who best to introduce you to that would help put you at ease.

Good luck and I hope you are soon enjoying yourself at munches in the near future. I would dearly love to attend some of my local munches, but alas, they are either during an evening or on a Sunday when I am unable to attend. If I could move the munch into my home I would!

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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/19/2009 3:33:06 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

You could always find out who runs the munch and then write to them, explain that you would love to attend, but are deeply shy. If they are worth their salt and want to ensure continued munch success they will be on hand to meet you personally and see that you are comfortable. They will also have an inkling as to who best to introduce you to that would help put you at ease.



This is a great piece of advice, I know personally I have been there hours before the munch starts to meet people, and wandered up to lost people and even once chased someone down the road because they had got their just before me. Also I offer to stay with the person for as long as they want before they decide to join the munch or not.

If your shyness is holding you back you have to wonder what it is that you are afraid of? As MissMorringan said shyness can be endering but of course not if it is something that you feel is bad. My bet is you get yourself worked up about it before hand. Well another pieceof advice would then be to go to the bar holding the munch but dont promise yourself that you will actually go, see where the group is and how they are behaving and I dunno take a book and hide in the corner and see if you get the courage to go over. I expect curiosity will get the better of you.

Good luck.

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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/19/2009 6:52:02 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Set yourself a goal before you go.  For instance, say to yourself "I am going to try to strike up a conversation with at least three people tonight".  I've done that when attending munches in a new city.  Or set yourself a time limit, "I will stay for at least one hour".  When I've done that I've found that a very interesting conversation hits before my time is up and I end up enjoying myself very much.

The more often you attend the more likely it is that someone will come up and start a conversation with you.  Put on a smile even if you don't feel like it and people will be more likely to approach you.  I find that a good icebreaker is simply complimenting someone, something simple but sincere, like "what beautiful earrings".  It may not lead to a continuing conversation but that person is likely to remember you the next time they see you. 


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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/19/2009 7:16:39 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

please don't tell me to join some organization on speechmaking.


I'm a Dom, girl.  Don't give me THAT as a hard limit! 

You're obviously referring to Toastmasters.  I was one for many years.  I can recommend that they overcome speaking fears as gently as possible.

If you are seeking to overcome your general speaking fear, I cannot recommend them highly enough.  They are not pushy and will let
you go at your own pace.

If you're only worried about the munch shyness, then use the other suggestions.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: I am very shy and when i go to the munches i just s... - 1/19/2009 8:14:02 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Do 6 shots of tequila before you go

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