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Divorce Letter - 1/19/2009 9:42:04 AM   
beargonewild


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Dear wife:

  I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.  Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.   Your EX-Husband   P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!  


Dear Ex-Husband

  Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'  Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.   So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica   But when I got home you were gone.  Everything happens for a reason, I guess.  I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.   Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!   P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a  problem.  Ah well.  C'est la

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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/19/2009 1:55:41 PM   
persephonee


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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to beargonewild)
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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/19/2009 5:27:51 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
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Revenge is sweet!

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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/20/2009 6:14:49 AM   
FourQ


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I thought I'd seen that somewhere before

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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/20/2009 7:57:38 PM   
mischievousone


Posts: 164
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Love it!

(in reply to FourQ)
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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/21/2009 3:34:57 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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LOL

(in reply to mischievousone)
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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/21/2009 6:05:45 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
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Snicker


poenkitten

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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/21/2009 5:32:10 PM   
ChainGoddess


Posts: 731
Joined: 9/27/2008
From: Ireland
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Love it.  Love it. Love it.  

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RE: Divorce Letter - 1/21/2009 5:54:29 PM   
beth314


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FANTABULOUS!!!!
 
beth

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