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thomas790 -> Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 11:18:46 AM)
Like many others, I've found meeting Women through CM to be rather frustrating. Any constructive suggestions on how I might improve my profile? The photos are actually not never flattering, I've rarely had a good pic. Should I change them? Given that the internet lives forever I don't want to post anything more revealing. Thank You!

MsLadySue -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 11:46:56 AM)
Your profile is fine in my opinion but your picture could be better if you were smiling.

Venatrix -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 11:59:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thomas790 Like many others, I've found meeting Women through CM to be rather frustrating. Any constructive suggestions on how I might improve my profile? The photos are actually not never flattering, I've rarely had a good pic. Should I change them? Given that the internet lives forever I don't want to post anything more revealing. Thank You! Perhaps it isn't your profile or your photograph. Perhaps it's your attitude once you make contact with someone. Without knowing more about your approach, it's hard to say where you might be going wrong.

MistressAinCT -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 12:21:00 PM)
Since you asked, I found it rather "Dominant", especially the part about travelling. It more or less assumes that if a person hasn't travelled, they are somehow "missing" something. I would go easy on that. I did find it honest, however, but what I find interesting is when a sub/slave puts in their profile not only their experience, but what they can do for ME (or any other Dominant). And I don't mean financially, either (although that is always a plus). There is always time for you and your prospective Domme to talk about other things outside of BDSM but what initially attracts us here is the BDSM or D/s talk itself. If that is a match, then the rest falls into place. Otherwise, why not just use Match.com and HOPE you get a Dominant lady? That's My two cents..spend it wisely ;)

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 12:30:16 PM)
After reading your profile, you do need to make yourself sound more approachable. You sound, honestly, like one of those people you talk to who has done so many things and seen so many places that you will feel inferior trying to swap stories. You might want to focus more on what you are looking for, and offering, and less on what you want or need. Dictating the relationship in the first paragraph doesnt make most want to continue on. You want to meet a dominant woman who is interested in a submissive man. Given. You want someone looking for a balanced relationship, not a strictly D/s one, and you want a romantic aspect. You do not mention anything about the things you wish to give to a prospective dominant, what sort of service or D/s you are interested in... Fill out more about things you want and offer, and less about your traveling and you might have a better chance. DV

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 12:32:35 PM)
Don't find anything wrong with your profile, maybe the way you present yourself through mails might be the "problem" like Venatrix said. But then I'm submissive and maybe don't have the "dominant" perspective. I actually find widely travelled people not a threat, I find it more intriguing and to me it gives me the expression that you're experienced in general life and have stories to tell and have perhaps gotten to know many cultures etc. etc. I don't know...I mean an uneducated but widely travelled person ( I know it doesn't fit you) I think it actually counts for something, so I have to disagree with MistressAinCT on that one. However, you were wondering about the pictures, yea they might maybe be a bit more lively since you put your face in there..but I'd pick picture #3 as your primary one![:)]

MsLadySue -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 12:42:13 PM)
Agrees with subtlebutterfly about using picture #3 as your primary.

thomas790 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 2:22:21 PM)
Thanks for all of the advice. I need to think more about my description but have made a few minor edits so far. As to the photo, the challenge with #3 is it is rather grainy. I agree about the need to smile. I'll try to take a few more and see how they look.

ALAstella -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 5:19:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thomas790 Any constructive suggestions on how I might improve my profile? Well it's all about you, what you've done, what you're looking for, and I get the impression that you're just looking for that missing component of a fulfilling life. It's all buzzwords, 'professional', I am, I've done', what I think, and I guess from a domme's perspective I'd be wondering where I fit in and what's in it for me. Exactly.. where does the lady you're seeking fit in, and what do you offer her? From what I can tell you're looking for a domme to fit in with what you want. This is not to mention the photo.. quote: ORIGINAL: MRaven4K The photos are actually not never flattering, I've rarely had a good pic. The photo is okay, it's just the facial expression.. You look as if you've mistakenly taken a dose of laxatives for a bad cough, and perhaps you felt that even the slightest smile could cause you to cough and crap yourself. This makes you like a tax inspector or bailiff about to execute a warrant. quote: ORIGINAL: MRaven4K Should I change them? Yes, unless you really want to look like the way I have described as above. The photo looks posed, artificial, how about taking photos of you doing something, smiling, or even laughing? A photo is meant to be a snapshot taken from a split second of your life, without suggesting that you model for the local taxidermist company. Be yourself, not a stereotype.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/19/2009 5:56:34 PM)
I don't see anything wrong with your profile, so I wonder if it's your courtship of whomever you begin contact with that is lacking, as someone pointed out. quote: subtlebutterfly I'd pick picture #3 as your primary one![:)] I disagree, because picture #3 looks like an older picture (of him when younger). I could be wrong, but he doesn't look 50 or even 45 in it. Besides that, I like a well dressed man in the first photo. M

Dnomyar -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 7:31:48 AM)
Thomas if you want I will give you my picture to use.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 7:46:10 AM)
[sm=rofl.gif] How generous of you?! M

Dnomyar -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 9:01:31 AM)
Hey the guy is looking for help and Im offering it to him.

Venatrix -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 9:28:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Hey the guy is looking for help and Im offering it to him. That kind of help he can probably live without.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 9:32:07 AM)
Awh, I think you need a hug V. Come here Okay, okay, I'm in a hug the whole world mood watching the inauguration, but you're still special. Besides, what's Raymond going to do with a trophy girfriend? [8D] M

thomas790 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 10:03:50 AM)
So, again thanks to all, I'm assuming the best of intentions. The 3rd pic is older, it was from 2000 when I was 44. The others are from last year. The points about my facial expressions are well taken, I need to lighten up! I will need to think more about the text and how to describe what I have to offer. I like to think I do offer something but describing it hasn't come easily. D/S is one aspect of who I am and the challenge is finding another who sees their life the same way.

Venatrix -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 10:05:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1 Awh, I think you need a hug V. Come here Okay, okay, I'm in a hug the whole world mood watching the inauguration, but you're still special. Besides, what's Raymond going to do with a trophy girfriend? [8D] M Thanks much, M. It is, indeed, a sunny day and I'm not referring to the weather. The question isn't so much what Raymond would do with a trophy girlfriend, it's would he know what to do with any girlfriend? Oh, poor Raymond. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him, though not sorry enough to stop winding him up.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 11:20:43 AM)
Well for most of us D/s is one aspect, I mean very few of us are one-dimensional---you mention you've been looking for 6 months--well there are more than 300+ subs for every Domina--so it takes time. I didn't have a problem with the profile except the "dislikes female supremacy"--I found that odd unless you mean the extreme female supremacists that think men are useless----I too found it to be more Dominant, looking for an "acceptable" partner--you know well read, hwp etc etc etc. So My questions are: 1. Are you SURE you are leaning toward being a submissive? 2. Are you just seeking kink in the bedroom, than say that and as Stella said--its all about your accomplishments, reads more like a CV than a personals ad. Just My .02.

thomas790 -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/20/2009 12:30:54 PM)
I have been looking more carefully at my profile and I picked up a few inadvertent mistakes. However, I can't find the references to HWP and well read.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Profile suggestions (1/21/2009 11:46:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thomas790 I have been looking more carefully at my profile and I picked up a few inadvertent mistakes. However, I can't find the references to HWP and well read. I took it as an implied preference rather than overtly stated.

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