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pompeii -> RE: A quick question about safewords (1/20/2009 8:34:31 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CalifChick
The OP is new. I certainly would not encourage her to play without a safeword, particularly with someone new to her, if that's what she feels she needs.
I understand. A safe word or safe process is customary. Especially for new relationships. I did say it was OT so I really shouldn't ramble but I find the safe word concept a bit unnecessary - even while gagged - even while doing anal - even while doing forceful anal. Shouldn't the Do'er constantly be gauging the reaction of the do'ee such that a safe word isn't eminantly necessary?
Of course, it's easy enough to have a safe-process, so, why not ... but, as I said, (it's a bit OT), personally, I've never needed safe-stuff and never really understood why others needed it. The difference, the important difference I guess, is I'm the one actually doing the tying, spanking, slapping, thrusting, etc.And, a key difference is I'm a soft bedroom Top (I learned that here ... on CM ... BTW)... so, even if she couldn't utter a sound or move a muscle, she'd still be perfectly safe with me.
To be sure, in the past, when I was young, I used to provide obligatory yellow/red safewords but nobody ever uttered them. So, I no longer even bother discussing safe words. When I'm with someone new and inexperienced, I just tell 'em to let me know, any way they can, if they don't like something. And, guess what. They let me know. Bound or gagged, upside down or rightside up, they let me know. It isn't all that hard - we do it every single day in every relationship we have. I used to wrestle, and, well, you could just predict the next move just by feeling the opponent's muscles twitch a certain way or that twist of his neck.
Like it was said before, her vocal cords still work, even while gagged. Likewise with her muscles. And her groans. And yelps. In my case, mostly her body will tell me, e.g., a nipple clamp a bit too tight and she'll cringe and push one shoulder to the side, or anal a bit too deep and she'll crawl away further, or gagging cock sucking a bit too fast and she'll pull out quickly, or cuffs a bit too tight and she'll moan and motion with her bound arms, etc. I'm constantly adjusting my technique, changing the pace, watching her reaction, tweaking the position, gauging her reaction, smacking here or there on a delicate spot, enjoying her reaction, etc.
Of course, I do agree with you ... for the OP, a safe-word procedure is most likely de rigeur. I was just stating a slightly OT opinion that, some of us prefer our partners, gagged or not, to just let us know how they feel, constantly, with their body, so we don't find a safeword/safething a useful tool at all. Lubrication during gagged anal sex is more useful than a safeword/safeprocess for people like me.
As always, her YMMV.
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