RE: Being forced vs punishment choice

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favesclava -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 7:49:50 AM)
i love spankings so i'm spanked only if i'm a good girl. to be punished means i have failed my Master. and this knowledge is worse than any physical punishment. luckily this has not happen often.

agirl -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 8:17:52 AM)
There's no should about any of it. If there's no REAL or worthwhile reason for me not to do something apart from * I don't like it* then it's a non issue. It'd simply be me resisting, something for which he has ample methods to alter. He can change the don't like to a do like...or change it to a do like compared to the alternative. Now, he isn't particularly interested in making me do things that I really don't like much of the time unless he's making a point but don't like just isn't a good enough reason to opt out. agirl

Crackers -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 8:33:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: panthersub My Dom and i were talking earlier today about being forced to do things, mainly kissing, and whether or not a sub should have a choice to be forced to do something that they don't want to, or taking a punishment instead. Example: Say if a submissive does not like to kiss, do you think the Dom should force her to kiss, or give her a a punishment. Not a harsh punishment, but something to remind her that she needs to listen to her Dom? Well I think it's a bit skewed and disrespectful to even entertain the thought of taking anything other than a harsh punishment for disobedience. Especially if you have a Dom that would give you the privilege of their lips.....O_o

CatdeMedici -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 9:05:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight i am so glad my dom is sooooooooo well train to understand that some days are not his days. he knows to force me to do some will cause it to not be done [sm=fingers.gif] then who is in control of your relationship?

sirsholly -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 9:08:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight i am so glad my dom is sooooooooo well train to understand that some days are not his days. he knows to force me to do some will cause it to not be done [sm=fingers.gif] i personally would not be bragging if that were the case with Hubby and i

Mercnbeth -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 9:18:06 AM)
Master isn't into forcing...He prefers obedience. this slave is totally into doing things she dosn't particularly fancy all on her own...wholly for HIS pleasure. therefore, it isn't an issue for us. as for the hypothetical "should" or "shouldn't" be, it is this slave's opinion that it is completely up to the folks involved who have crafted the relationship to decide that for themselves.

favesclava -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 9:19:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight i am so glad my dom is sooooooooo well train to understand that some days are not his days. he knows to force me to do some will cause it to not be done [sm=fingers.gif] i saw the post pop up in the as the d ring turns and just had to check it out. if i ever were to use the words trained to describe Him..... omfg!!!!! of course He would probably have me comitted since it could only mean i've gone crazy and there's no coming back.

littleone35 -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 10:00:09 AM)
My Master does not belieing in forcng me to do anything. I do things i don't like because i was told to do them. I love him ,but i don't always love everything he tells me to do. It make us both happy when i am obedient. If i act up or out i will get punished. As for the kissing i would think the Dom would ask why she has an averision to it and wok past it. I have an bad experience with something that Master likes( not kissing) Master talked with me about went slow and we worked past it. Matt's littleone

panthersub -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 10:34:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleone35 My Master does not belieing in forcng me to do anything. I do things i don't like because i was told to do them. I love him ,but i don't always love everything he tells me to do. It make us both happy when i am obedient. If i act up or out i will get punished. As for the kissing i would think the Dom would ask why she has an averision to it and wok past it. I have an bad experience with something that Master likes( not kissing) Master talked with me about went slow and we worked past it. Matt's littleone We both know why i have an aversion to it, but he thinks that if he forces me to kiss him, then it will be better down the road. i say the opposite is true. But anyways, i would rather, personally, take a punishment than be forced to do something that he knows i will freak out over. i know it probably sounds really inpractical.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 10:45:27 AM)
Not impractical so much as counter-productive.

Carmeldelight -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 10:47:03 AM)
My dom knows that, I do not have a “Hoe Mentality.” He knows what I will accept and what I will not accept. My Don is the one in charged of the relationship (which I allow him to feel), if you ask for a request and I feel it is not me, the request is not done.

LaTigresse -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 11:51:43 AM)
You allow him to feel in charge?!?! I suppose some may have the "chicken/egg" argument but I am still reading it like you think you are the one really in charge and just pandering to him to get your way. Doing what he wants, as long as you want to do it. Granted, I suppose that is the case with many......

heartfeltsub -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 12:08:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight My dom knows that, I do not have a “Hoe Mentality.” He knows what I will accept and what I will not accept. My Don is the one in charged of the relationship (which I allow him to feel), if you ask for a request and I feel it is not me, the request is not done. This is the very definition of you being in charge, why even call him a Dom or yourself a submissive, your attitude and the description that you give of your relationship clearly shows that it is not D/s with him in charge, but rather D/s with you as the dominant one.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 12:35:33 PM)
quote: ...I suppose some may have the "chicken/egg" argument but I am still reading it like you think you are the one really in charge and just pandering to him to get your way. Doing what he wants, as long as you want to do it... LaTigresse, maybe it isn't quite chicken/egg, but merely a matter of perception. unless we are talking about folks who are participating in non-consensual D/s relationships, BOTH parties have agreed to allow the other to live out their desire on the side of the slash they prefer...or is this slave missing something? otherwise, choice is left out of the equation...and we ALL choose who we submit to or dominate, regardless of if it is a one time deal, with no limits on future circumstances, or on an ongoing daily basis depending on mood, circumstances, negotiated limits or feelings...don't we? agreed, Carmeldelight posts in a rather shocking manner, but the bottom line of what she expresses isn't all that rare...at least from this slave's perspective.

Carmeldelight -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 12:36:30 PM)
He is the dom and I am the subbie, I just don't have the HOE mentality. It is not what every my don say, because we know that dom and mistress can be assholes.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 12:44:20 PM)
quote: ...I just don't have the HOE mentality... just curious, but could you please explain "the HOE mentality" that you speak of with such disdain?

LaTigresse -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 12:59:57 PM)
Beth, thank you. I think you've hit on what I was struggling with. Not so much the context, but perception of tone.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 1:18:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Beth, thank you. I think you've hit on what I was struggling with. Not so much the context, but perception of tone. you are most welcome! Master has joked (more than once) in the middle of a change of collars... Merc: There you go, you are released... slave: NO!!!! this slave refuses to be released!!! Merc (eyebrow raised): NO? seriously, though, this slave is grateful for any opportunity to facilitate His desires...for her, it is fulfilling, especially when this slave's personal preferences are completely aside. it being ALL about Him is incredibly HOT for this slave.[;)] it is only fair to mention that there are plenty of Doms out there who aren't interested in someone who will put whatever personal preferences they have aside and do whatever it is the Dom wants...they are often referred to derogatorily as "doormat" or "desperate" and the like.

DesFIP -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 1:45:15 PM)
I think you should sit down and talk about what's going on. And if you never enjoy kissing, then you should have said that upfront so he knew that his favorite activity was a no-go. But forcing someone can leave them angry and resentful. Punishment won't change their feelings. Communication is needed if the relationship is going to last.

robertolapiedra -> RE: Being forced vs punishment choice (1/20/2009 1:47:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: panthersub My Dom and i were talking earlier today about being forced to do things, mainly kissing, and whether or not a sub should have a choice to be forced to do something that they don't want to, or taking a punishment instead. Example: Say if a submissive does not like to kiss, do you think the Dom should force her to kiss, or give her a a punishment. Not a harsh punishment, but something to remind her that she needs to listen to her Dom? Hello panthersub. A sub always has the choice to obey or not. Disobedience is not negotiable in a Ds dynamic. Negotiating punishment to ''legalise'' non compliance is not power exchange, it is bull shit. Either you have a limit or you don't. RL.

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