You would think I would learn by now

You would think I would learn by now (Full Version)

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precioussubmisve -> You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:07:49 PM)
So I have pretty much figured out that I'm stupid, I keep falling for the excuses. Its entirely my fault, I have got to be so quit being so trusting and giving so many 2nd chances. I have talked to a few people, and everything goes well, we talked for awhile then one day they disappear and I never hear from them again. Well then suddenly one day out of the clear blue sky, they pop back up and say oh I'm so sorry, such and such happened.....and I fall for it , let myself accept the fact that life has gotten in the way because after all we cant live on the interenet 24/7. I figure hey well, I could give them the benefit of the doubt, and do so , we have another wonderdful conversation and its oh ok, I will talk to you again soon and guess what? I end up wating and wondering again how long it will be before they talk to me again if they ever do lol. I dont what it is about me that attracts the "fakes", maybe I have you can dupe me easily stamped on my forehead. Anyway, I'm just venting alittle.

DominaSmartass -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:15:56 PM)
It's happened to the best of us. I'm ashamed to admit one instance where I gave a 2nd chance way too many times because the reason he disappeared was always SO convincing and he always came back so charmingly. And I knew this one in real life, not purely online. Soon, you'll learn that a 2nd chance is just that: a SECOND chance. Not a 3rd, 5th, 11th, 20th. Tell people from the start that dropping off the face of the planet is a hard limit and if they do it to you, that's it, no further potential.

precioussubmisve -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:21:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass It's happened to the best of us. I'm ashamed to admit one instance where I gave a 2nd chance way too many times because the reason he disappeared was always SO convincing and he always came back so charmingly. And I knew this one in real life, not purely online. Soon, you'll learn that a 2nd chance is just that: a SECOND chance. Not a 3rd, 5th, 11th, 20th. *Tell people from the start that dropping off the face of the planet is a hard limit and if they do it to you, that's it, no further potential.* *That is a good idea, I never honestly thought of putting it that way.* That is a good idea,

greeneyedreamer -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:33:05 PM)
I have been there too! I think most of us have. Damn it's brutal...

precioussubmisve -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:39:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer I have been there too! I think most of us have. Damn it's brutal... yes alot of us have, lol I dont mean to complain, I realize it my fault for falling, it does hurt.

Usako -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:42:06 PM)
I don't see a crime in giving someone a second chance. If it's only on line chatting I fail to see how you're really losing all that much. Some will be fakes and some will be legit, I don't mind having to chat a little bit more to find out. I don't sign on line JUST to chat so they're not wasting my time since I'm multi-tasking. I was talking with someone on CM via mails and they poofed. I wondered why, after a while they messaged again saying sorry but life got busy. It happens, I said no big deal. We talked more and ended up meeting and having a nice time. Also, as someone who personally had their computer down for two-three weeks without being able to tell many people I can imagine some might have thought I dropped off the face of the Earth. But I came back! Am not a fake!

Petruchio -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:42:45 PM)
You're not stupid. Things happen. People happen. It's not your fault. Roll with it, be trusting but cautious until you know someone well.

rednicky -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:42:49 PM)
Dang, that sucks. But it's obvious that you've figured out the problem. This has nothing to do with the lifestyle, so I can totally give my 2 cents.[:D] Why do you give men, especially Dominant men who are supposed to set the example, the benefit of the doubt in the first place? How long does it take to send a text? 30 seconds? No, how long does it take to shoot an email or leave a message on someone's phone? Almost no time. He had no excuse. No, he had excuses but they weren't worth the time listening to. So, like you said, you've been a liiiitle naive. Are you willing to change though? Sorry THIS is a pet peeve of mine. Naive women who do stuff like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand when women make silly mistakes with men. The more women act this way, the more men have these misconceptions that women are so 'ignorant' and that all a man has to do is talk his way out of whatever he's done wrong. Sorry, but I want a man to take me seriously and not think I'm so stupid that any old excuse along with some pretty words will win me back. Ladies, if we make men work harder, men will TRY harder. But if we humor men who do the very least they have to do in order to get on your good side then they simply won't make the effort. I'm sick of good men being so rare. If we made sloppy men try harder, then we could turn them into good men. And that is essential especially in a lifestyle where many women are submissive in the first place. Have you ladies heard of the law where men are held responsible if they have sex with in intoxicated woman who consents while drunk but regrets it once she wakes up? How crazy is that? The law is basically saying that women who take even one sip of alcohol are too stupid and naive to make decisions or be held accountable for their actions. So it's up to the MEN (who could be every bit as drunk as the women) to be responsible and make the right judgments. So if a drunk man has sex with a shitfaced woman who is crying out "Yes yes fuck me" that night, but then wakes up saying "No I didn't mean for it to happen! You raped me! I'm calling the police" then HE has to take responsibility and HE has to go to jail. Now how do you like that? Once women have a drink, our sound judgment is compared to that of a child's or the mentally handicapped and we have to depend on men to do the right thing. Ugh, now I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 7:57:49 PM)
This is a reason why, other than friendship, I will NOT do an on-line relationship. The few times I made exceptions ... I got zapped. Once she disappeared and her husband said I had to leave her alone (I did not know she was married). Second time, she was in another country. Third time, we were getting ready to meet, she ran off with another man. So, if its intimate, they have to be within an hour or less. It's too hard if you are lonely to weave a spell of romance and intimacy. Chat with friends, cool. I even give good friends my phone number. Doing the whole relationship on-line? No way in hell.

precioussubmisve -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 8:09:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky Dang, that sucks. But it's obvious that you've figured out the problem. This has nothing to do with the lifestyle, so I can totally give my 2 cents.[:D] Why do you give men, especially Dominant men who are supposed to set the example, the benefit of the doubt in the first place? How long does it take to send a text? 30 seconds? No, how long does it take to shoot an email or leave a message on someone's phone? Almost no time. He had no excuse. No, he had excuses but they weren't worth the time listening to. So, like you said, you've been a liiiitle naive. Are you willing to change though? Sorry THIS is a pet peeve of mine. Naive women who do stuff like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand when women make silly mistakes with men. The more women act this way, the more men have these misconceptions that women are so 'ignorant' and that all a man has to do is talk his way out of whatever he's done wrong. Sorry, but I want a man to take me seriously and not think I'm so stupid that any old excuse along with some pretty words will win me back. Ladies, if we make men work harder, men will TRY harder. But if we humor men who do the very least they have to do in order to get on your good side then they simply won't make the effort. I'm sick of good men being so rare. If we made sloppy men try harder, then we could turn them into good men. And that is essential especially in a lifestyle where many women are submissive in the first place. Have you ladies heard of the law where men are held responsible if they have sex with in intoxicated woman who consents while drunk but regrets it once she wakes up? How crazy is that? The law is basically saying that women who take even one sip of alcohol are too stupid and naive to make decisions or be held accountable for their actions. So it's up to the MEN (who could be every bit as drunk as the women) to be responsible and make the right judgments. So if a drunk man has sex with a shitfaced woman who is crying out "Yes yes fuck me" that night, but then wakes up saying "No I didn't mean for it to happen! You raped me! I'm calling the police" then HE has to take responsibility and HE has to go to jail. Now how do you like that? Once women have a drink, our sound judgment is compared to that of a child's or the mentally handicapped and we have to depend on men to do the right thing. Ugh, now I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity. Well I did not mean to piss you off. You are excatly right with everything you have said. I was just simply making a statement about my own stupidity was all, and saying I know most of us have been there.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/20/2009 8:21:33 PM)
It happens to all of us, then we develop better radars. This part of your profile is probably attracting more of the same ""I'm going to say this upfront if you are just looking for someone that you can dupe easily, then move on. If you are just going to randomly disappear for days , weeks, then do not bother to talk to me""" It's going to be up to you to hone your instincts, trust them, maybe meet real time sooner, and take it from there. I'm sorry you're discouraged by the experience, but it's going to make you a better chooser. M

CatdeMedici -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 7:13:18 AM)
Think of the internet as the sea and you are a net fisherman --occasionally you will pull in a shark, if you keep getting sharks--use a different bait, a smaller net or a more focused casting area. [;)]

curiousINct -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 7:49:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky Sorry THIS is a pet peeve of mine. Naive women who do stuff like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand when women make silly mistakes with men. I don't think it's naive to give someone a second chance. I'd rather get burned every once in awhile than become that inflexible. quote: I'm sick of good men being so rare. They aren't that rare. We just have to be willing to see the ones that are right in front of us. :)

BondageBarbieX -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 5:47:16 PM)
Good luck in the future

kdsub -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 6:39:31 PM)
I believe what happens...at least sometimes. The mind is often harsh and guilt can be very disabling. I often fight with my inner soul about the right and wrong of my actions. When I get caught up in passion I often live for the moment and will do and say many things that later I will feel guilty for doing. I have gone to the extreme of killing my internet connection thinking that will stop my desires. I will surely try and stay away from what prompts those desires at least for a time. It doesn’t work and often a few days or weeks later when the passion builds I’m back at it again. So it is …passion… guilt…passion…guilt. A lot of people of course have adjusted to their desires and then find it hard to understand someone who only has periodic desires followed by guilt. Butch

beth314 -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 6:45:33 PM)
Awwwhhhh....I'll be your friend:) beth

pixidustpet -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 8:07:54 PM)
~fast reply~ i dont think its so much about you getting fooled. i think it can also be about the other person assuming you're going to sit breathlessly waiting for them to show up in your life again. i had that happen some 6 months after i met Daddy. a dominant i had been talking to prior to Daddy (and it didnt work out) cold calls me, wakes me up, and expected me to recognise his voice at 5 am? oh noes. then when he called back at a reasonable hour, was all unhappy that i didnt wait for him. um...no, i had told you on the last time we talked it wasnt working out. some people are silly like that. dominant, submissive, 'nilla, any of them. kitten

faithfulfemme -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/21/2009 11:16:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: precioussubmisve quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky Ugh, now I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity. Well I did not mean to piss you off. ....highest level of piss - tivity........hahahahah......[:D]......rednicky, that is one phrase i must remember. It describes it exactly. May i steal that from you? And precioussubmissive, you didn't cause rednicky to be pissed, she did it to herself......[;)].... i do that all the time when i vent. i hear what i'm saying and then get pissed off to the "highest level of piss - tivity" by what i'm saying......hahahahah.....[:)]

grouchomarx -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/22/2009 1:11:59 AM)
well if you say you're stupid, who am i to argue.

wandersalone -> RE: You would think I would learn by now (1/22/2009 1:34:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky Why do you give men, especially Dominant men who are supposed to set the example, the benefit of the doubt in the first place? .....sorry quick hijack.... what example are dominant men supposed to set? Welcome to the forums prescioussubmisv. Yep it has happened so I focus on local people now.

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