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i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l slave... - 1/8/2006 8:01:31 PM

collaredlilone

Posts: 34
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline

hello my name is lil one and i have a problem and do not know what to do. i am r/l with Master 24-7 now and am so happy. but i am homesick and on the verge of tears when i think of home. its hard because home was so bad so i dont know why i miss it. Master treats me well and i am not unhappy at all. i am woundering...
1. is this normal?
2. what can you do to get through it?
3. does this make me bad of a slave?
4. what can my Master do to help me?

if you respond me and Master would like it if you mailed it to me on here for i am not on message boards enough.
every bit of help to this girl would be apreciated.
lil one.

Post #: 1

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/8/2006 9:27:20 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

1. is this normal?
2. what can you do to get through it?
3. does this make me bad of a slave?
4. what can my Master do to help me?

1. Yes. It's normal to be home sick. Home is where most ppl feel more safe, secure, and stable. It's a big world out there. At home you may have been "THE SHIT!" But now, to many you many be just shit. In a new area or community you are stuck with having to remake yourself and that can be somewhat intimidating.

2. There are a few things that you can do.

a. Start making friends in the area.

b. Start getting to know the area you are in now. Begin familarizing yourself with stores such as Wal Mart, Star Bucks, and the mall. Such places will remind you of home and also help make you feel at home.

c. Today, home is just an e-mail or phone call away. It never hurts to communicate with your friends and family now and then assuring all that you will come back to visit. You can also see about who will visit your place.

3. No. You are not a bad slave for missing your home.

4. Your Master can help you by being there for you. He can help you make more friends in the area. The two of you can start getting aquainted with BDSM groups, your preference of religious service, and a local chapter of some organization. This way you can start becoming attached to your new community and start making yourself feel at home. After all, you'll begin to belong and make new good memories that would make you miss the place if you ever had to leave it.

In no way shape or form are you betraying your past by moving on going forward with your life. It's good that you have left the nest to fly and experience ups and downs of making it on your own. It's what your family, friends, and community have raised you to do. They will never be forgotten as long as you continue to use the lessons they have taught you. Let go of the past and make way for the future. It's what your old town would like for you to do for no one can move forward if all they think about is the past.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 2

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/8/2006 9:40:34 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Its just being homesick and effects vanilla and slaves alike..

Do not worry about it it will pass as you get nested in.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 3

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/8/2006 10:48:55 PM

Slaveless1

Posts: 105
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline

lil one,

I am happy you have found one that you can be happy with. That in and of itself is a great thing!

Is it normal......yes it is. No matter what type of situation you came form good or bad you left everything behind. All your friends and family (that you speak to) are there. You mentioned it was bad, I am sure at the time it was what you were used to and not having the attention even bad is missed. time will help with most of this. Easy for Me to write but you are the one that is feeling it.

Does this make you a bad slave.....No, not in the least. You are a human being first. You have feelings. your submission to your Master is second and He should respect your feelings at all times. (in My opinion)

What can your Master do.....The best advice I can tell you is talk with Him. He sounds as though He cares of your well being as you stated He treats you well. If it is particular people you miss, maybe a road trip would be in order.

< Message edited by Slaveless1 -- 1/8/2006 10:51:02 PM >

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 4

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 2:37:33 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

I'm not a Master, but I did move from the small rural area I'd lived in all my life in New Zealand to live with my Master in the city of Sydney Australia.

It has been quite a culture shock, and I missed my parents and my children, but I had realised that there was nothing for me in the area where I was living. It was time to move on and begin a new phase. There are times when I miss people and places, but they are only a phone call or email away.

Of course you are not a bad slave. You are human, and miss the familiarity of your old life no matter how bad it was. How can your Master help you? He can take you out places, introduce you to his friends who in turn will become your friends too. He can also make sure you know how to get around, to the shops etc. Lots of hugs and reassurance help too

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 5

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 4:59:10 AM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Your profile and it says you are 19. People that work in college dorms or as counselors will tell you homesickness is very, very common. Is this your first time living away from home, ina completely different geographic area? It does not matter if your past home was "bad" or a perfectly happy existence -- it is what was familiar to you.

The above suggestions of getting involved with your new community (at a bdsm level or otherwise) is a great one. Keeping busy in general will help. Develop a routine and stick with it. While you should set a regular schedule to communicate with people from home, I feel you would want to focus on your new life -- and not constantly cling to home through excessive phones calls or IMs.

Think about what you miss about home and try and approximate that in a new form. For example, if there was a favorite ice cream place make it a point to visit several new ice cream places with your Master and decide which has the best in town. Lame example, but you get the idea.

You Master can be patient, not take your homesickness personally, and support you as you develop roots in your new home. It just takes time.

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 6

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 5:22:48 AM

phoenixslave

Posts: 66
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline

Not a master, but when i relocated, Master encouraged me to stay in touch , even inviting many to visit. He also saw to it that i met local people who i had things in common with. Otherwise my own experience syas.. it will fade.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 7

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 7:03:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Time time and more time.

Find a new home for yourself, make new friends, get involved in your local community. Plant new roots. Your master can help by being a stable source in your life, a touchstone for your emotions.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 8

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 1:52:01 PM

MasterBenedict

Posts: 309
Status: offline

Well, I think you need to talk this out with your Manaster unendingly first off. Then I recommend discussing it with other subs/slaves-also unendingly.
I wish you well.

MB

_____________________________

If you can LAUGH at it you can live WITH it!

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 9

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 2:58:04 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

1. is this normal?

I feel it is normal for one to be homesick; it is only natural. However, it must not override or interfere with your obligations or love.

2. what can you do to get through it?

Two great warriors: Time & Patience

3. does this make me bad of a slave?

In my opinion, yes, if it persists beyond a natural and predictable longing for home. Master is the only home you need. If you cannot accept that, I would question the label of "slave" you put upon yourself.

4. what can my Master do to help me?

Does he need to help you in this? Certainly not. Should he? Yes, if he is a kind Master. He may deem it good to offer you some level of comfort and reassurance. Without knowing particulars about your situation, I cannot give accurate advise on how to coddle and comfort you. I would start by saying focus less on me, me, me and more on Him Him Him.

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 10

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/9/2006 7:53:27 PM

LindaLashes

Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

3. does this make me bad of a slave?

In my opinion, yes, if it persists beyond a natural and predictable longing for home. Master is the only home you need. If you cannot accept that, I would question the label of "slave" you put upon yourself.

Are you joking? Labelling anyone as a "bad" slave because of such trivial things is simply stupid.

< Message edited by LindaLashes -- 1/9/2006 7:55:58 PM >

_____________________________

Smack me around and call me Suzy...

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 11

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/10/2006 4:55:42 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

Oh! Depending on which Eaton (there are two) you are in you may live about half an hour from me!
Drop me a line on the other side, I would be happy to show you around and introduce you to some people.

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 12

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/11/2006 8:28:07 PM

snowangel

Posts: 10
Joined: 5/12/2004
Status: offline

1. Yes. It's very normal. I'm also living far away from home for the first time and I get so homesick sometimes that it makes my stomach hurt. I didn't have a Master when I moved but I did have some good friends who helped me out a lot. I call my mum quite often and, as silly as it sounds, several of my favorite things came with me, including my cat....

2. The homesickness has been a lot worse for me lately, due to a nasty accident that left me with too much time on my hands. I talk to my parents a lot, and I've made a few close friends in the community down here. One of them's lived here for a long time and she took me round to all the places like home here. I also sought out familiar places. I know starbucks is the evil empire and all that, but ever notice how similar they all are? A cafe mocha at Starbucks sometimes gets me through a bad day. I go home whenever I can too.

And then there's the comfort reading. I have several old favorite books that take me back home. Sometimes my cat and my battered copy "the Old Curiosity Shop" is all it takes to feel better.

3. I don't think it makes you a bad slave, but I'm not a slave or a Master so I don't know if my opinion helps...

4. Just be empathetic and kind. It seems that when you're the Dom/me, there's a time to be tough and skeery and there's a time to be a little more soft. Rayne's Master is really really nice, maybe He can lend 2 cents here.

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 13

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/12/2006 3:55:50 AM

dincubus

Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline

Lil one, when i first left the area i had been living in, i left behind my family. i felt scared and afraid but i knew it had to be done. i had tears coming out of my eyes are i drove away from what i knew and what i was confortable with. all the advice i can offer you is to approach your master and ask for his comfort. i know some may not agree with me, but it is what i would do if i were in your shoes. i hope this helps

(in reply to Slaveless1)

Post #: 14

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/13/2006 11:21:05 AM

GADomCpl

Posts: 62
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Being homesick is nothing to be ashamed of and happens to most people, not just subs. When we moved to GA from TX, this was the first time Liz had really left home (she had grown up in the same city her entire life and when we got married, we only lived about 15 min away). It took her a very long time to get over it, and she still has moments where she really misses it (almost 9 months later). Best advice is make friends in the area, and find some things to do to keep you busy. Find a job, go to school, get a hobby, ect.

Troy and Liz

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 15

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/14/2006 3:14:23 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

When I was 21 I came to this country, without knowing a soul. It took me about a year to get to where I wasn't profoundly homesick, so stick it out. You'll do fine.

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 16

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/15/2006 1:12:02 AM

subtlesubie

Posts: 138
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

Here's an idea. Dump your quasi pedophile "master", and go back where you came from. Get a boyfriend your own age, and learn a little about yourself, before shacking up with a grandpa you met on the web. Generations of great Americans fought and sacrificed themselves so you wouldn't have to do what you are doing. Homesickness is fine for kids at camp, but in your situation, it's a symptom of something far more serious I suspect.

Don't make me call NBC's Dateline.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 17

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/15/2006 5:42:01 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Here's an idea. Dump your quasi pedophile "master", and go back where you came from. Get a boyfriend your own age, and learn a little about yourself, before shacking up with a grandpa you met on the web. Generations of great Americans fought and sacrificed themselves so you wouldn't have to do what you are doing. Homesickness is fine for kids at camp, but in your situation, it's a symptom of something far more serious I suspect.

Don't make me call NBC's Dateline.

Well that certainly wasn't subtle...lol.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to subtlesubie)

Post #: 18

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/15/2006 5:58:04 AM

Slaveless1

Posts: 105
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

Here's an idea. Dump your quasi pedophile "master", and go back where you came from. Get a boyfriend your own age, and learn a little about yourself, before shacking up with a grandpa you met on the web. Generations of great Americans fought and sacrificed themselves so you wouldn't have to do what you are doing. Homesickness is fine for kids at camp, but in your situation, it's a symptom of something far more serious I suspect.

Don't make me call NBC's Dateline.

All I can say to this is "WOW" where from left field did this come from. I take it you do not approve of this type of lifestyle? That in and of itself is fine but, you are cold and cruel. I sure as hell hope I never find you near an accident scene....you will blame the car/truck for not operating properly and say;" It is what you deserve for buying one" and watch the people bleed out.................good Lord my friend get a grip!

(in reply to subtlesubie)

Post #: 19

RE: i need a Master's advice on homesickness as a r/l s... - 1/15/2006 6:39:17 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

Here's an idea. Dump your quasi pedophile "master", and go back where you came from. Get a boyfriend your own age, and learn a little about yourself, before shacking up with a grandpa you met on the web. Generations of great Americans fought and sacrificed themselves so you wouldn't have to do what you are doing. Homesickness is fine for kids at camp, but in your situation, it's a symptom of something far more serious I suspect.

Don't make me call NBC's Dateline.

Americans fought and sacrificed themselves so she would have the freedom to chose.

BTW, to whom are you responding. I read both Collaredlilone's and Kiwisub12's posts and neither seems of correspond with the assumptions in your diatribe.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to subtlesubie)

Post #: 20

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