|
KnightofMists -> RE: Question regarding "unment....." (1/11/2006 2:43:04 PM)
|
As a person with 4 little lifestyler’s in my house, I believe I can provide some thoughts out of experience. Mine are from teen to the age in question and not treated as some lesser person because of they are not adults. They are treated appropriately to their Intellectual and emotional maturity at any given time. My eldest is fast learning the facts of life and it wasn’t to recently that she said “I going to be just like Daddy, But the female version”. Now exactly, what she meant with that, I am not so sure. But, it reflects to myself what I always felt and known for some time. These little ones are quick to see what is going around them and they will take an interest in there environment. I would actually be very concerned if I saw no signs from them that indicate they see differences in their parents as compared to others.
So, I disagree with Lucky, and the OP. . “it is none their Business!” Their Business being the environment they are in and all that they are exposed too!. They live in your house and that is their environment, you are an important part of their life and care about you and love you, but they are also concerned for their own happiness as well. If they perceive a threat to those they love and/or their own security/happiness, they will make it their business and rightly so. I think this is a healthy indication of a little person seeking to be responsible for their own world of happiness. Do not just look from your perspective…. Look at from their’s… they don’t want or even need to understand what is happening… they just want to know it is OK that they are safe and life is good for them.. Now of course as for little ones that are older or are younger, their awareness of things are around them will be more or less. Therefore, I agree with Lucky, in that your Behaviors of play “Made it His Business” Now you have to deal with it!
How to deal with it?
I am very much against the Idea of “Because, I told you so!”. That smacks more of , I don’t know what to say than actually than actually dealing with the issue and generally speaking is a lazy way to approach a hard issue. Sooner or later, this approach will fail to be an acceptable answer. I could go on great length on the reasons why this approach is actually less effective in the long term, but if those people wish to use this approach so be it. Providing and being open to intellectual and emotional appropriate reasoning for those little ones with their issues and questions is harder and more challenging, but it truly is not for everyone. I will also state that, I at one time been in the mindset to do “Because, I told you so!” I also have to say that my desire to learn and grow beyond this approach as been enlightening and fortunately, I learned to practice a different approach before my relationship with my little ones was forever affected because of it.
I believe that not only you but also your Master have to be equal in dealing with the issue. I would also raise a huge flag if the Master is not the father, and the Dad is still in his life. This clearly increases the dynamics of the problem, particularly if the father is not aware of your lifestyle. I would also add that, you need to consider the little ones emotional and intellectual maturity. He will know and see things are different from you and your Master and other adult relationships. He stays at a friend’s house etc, he will see them and compare them. If you don’t instill in him that Individuality and uniqueness is strength to be admired, then your distinct differences could very much have a wrong impact. As a not, “Because, I told you so” will teaching conformist ideals and opinions to authority. As he grows older and begins to hold on to the conformist ideas to have relationships, then how is going to function in society that sees your relationship as Wrong! You put him is a quandary.
You need to appreciate if this situation is an isolated incident or is there other incidents that reflect this concern. It is not likely that this was the only time, so passing of the incident is being only a one time deal… well that will make you a liar in his eyes. Not good to lose integrity from your little one.
I think the idea of using “Master”: as a term of endearment is an excellent one… and it works… of course in my house alandra and kyra will acknowledge me as “My Lord”… but the question was asked… and the approach was used. It’s apart of their home life now… not something that is different or weird for them.
I also think teaching them about Privacy is a very good idea. My two oldest don’t have doors on their rooms, they are going to appreciate privacy all the more when they get it. They are also learning that life isn’t fair… because the two younger have doors on there rooms. They are learning privacy is a privilege as well as learning that not all privileges are earned by others. They are learning not to covet what others have, even if it something they want. If the want it, they must earn it. They are also learning that sometimes they will get things without actually earning them, but they need to appreciative of it none the less. Privacy is very important, but so is respect of others space. My two eldest are learning that they affect those around them. The open door cause all types of sounds to come from there room. If privacy is to be kept, one must protect that privacy by taking appropriate actions. They play their music and TV at the same time… but yet you can’t hear them from the other room. What we do, teaches them privacy. Your actions are not private… Once you affected his environment you not only show him a lack of importance or respect to privacy. Remember, your sounds and noise invaded his privacy, not the other way around!
Largely, you need to assess what he has been exposed to… and change your behaviors! Make different choices to play in privacy! If the issue doesn’t come up for him… it will be likely that he will buy it. But if this problem becomes a reoccurring issue… then you are going to have a lot of explaining to do. Kids talk to each other…. Sooner or later it could be heard by the wrong person. It’s a risk are you prepared to take that risk? Risk Aware Consensual Kink! Some how I don’t think he is consenting! The best way to deal the issue Is likely what you already done and now you need to change the behaviors of your own.
|
|
|
|
